Albert's Angel

ADJUSTED

2011-10-14T10:40:00.000-07:00

I HAVE BEEN NOTICING THESE PAST FEW WEEKS, THAT FINALLY AFTER 3 YEARS I HAVE FINALLY BECOME VERY PEACEFUL WITH MYSELF, AND MY "SPECIAL FEATURES"
JUST THE OTHER DAY I REALIZED THAT THERE ARE ONLY 3 THINGS THAT I HAVEN'T ACCOMPLISHED YET FROM MY PREVIOUS LIFE,
-1. DRIVING
-2. WORKING
-3. BRAIDING HAIR
BESIDES THESE THINGS I CAN NOW DO EVERYTHING I USED TO, THIS REALIZATION, WAS QUITE REWARDING TO MYSELF, YES THERE ARE THINGS THAT I'VE HAD TO LEARN DIFFERENTLY, BUT I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED THEM ANYWAY, CONSIDERING WHERE I CAME FROM, THIS IS PRETTY REMARKABLE, I STILL REALLY DESPISE MY LEFT ARM, AND CHOOSE TO TAKE A BREAK FROM THE BIOFEEDBACK, I KNOW I CAN GO BACK WHENEVER I FEEL READY TO, BUT I HAD REACHED A POINT WHERE THE PROGRESS WAS SO MINIMAL, I WAS JUST GETTING TO DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF THAT I NEEDED TO EASE THAT STRESS, SO I HAVEN'T BEEN IN AT LEAST 6 MONTHS, BUT SURPRISINGLY I HAVE NOTICED TINY MUSCLE DEVELOPMENT ANYWAY NOTHING OF USE BUT ITS STILL THERE, I'M NOT GIVING UP BY ANY MEANS MEARLY WORKING ON IT MY OWN. MY P.T. ASSURES ME THAT WHATEVER MY MUSCLES DID LEARN THEY WILL NEVER FORGET, SO I DON'T LOOSE ANY PROGRESS. BUT I NOTICED THAT BY TAKING THE TIME OFF IT SEEMED TO RELIEVE SOME OF MY DISCOURAGMENT I WAS FEELING BY NOT GETTING IT TO WORK, AFTER TRYING SO HARD FOR SO LONG NOT TO MENTION THE MONEY THAT I'M NOT SPENDING ON IT
GOD BLESS, TRULY TAMI

HAPPY RE-BIRTHDAY TO ME

2011-09-07T13:13:00.000-07:00

*** 3 YEARS OF MY NEW LIFE AUGUST 31ST WAS MY SURVIVOR ANNIVERSARY, IN 3 YEARS I HAVE COME SO FAR I WENT FROM BEING AS COMPETENT AS A 1 YEAR OLD,TO BECOMING A STAY-AT-HOME MOM TO MY BEAUTIFUL ANGELS
I STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO TO BE WHERE I WANT TO BE, BUT I AM DOING PRETTY DAMN AWESOME FOR A "SPECIALTY WOMAN", I CANT SAY I'M HAPPY IN THIS BODY, BUT I AM GETTING BETTER AT JUST BEING COMFORTABLE, I'M HOPING AS ALWAYS THAT IF I JUST GET TO COMFORTABLE IN THIS BODY, GOD MIGHT THINK I'VE LEARNED WHATEVER LESSON HE'S TEACHING ME, AND CAN CROSS MY NAME OFF THE TO DO LIST WISHFUL THINKING I KNOW
JUST 2 NIGHTS AGO MY FAMILY TOOK ME TO AN AMPHITHEATER FOR A SHOW, AND I WAS STRUGGLING WALKING DOWN THE STEEP STAIRS TO MY SEAT, AND I TOLD MY UNCLE "THAT I WANTED TO SCREAM", CUZ I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL AGAIN, HE SAID INSTANTLY, " HEY BE HAPPY YOU CAN DO THIS MUCH" HE'S EXACTLY RIGHT SOME DAYS I LOOSE TRACK OF SIMPLE THINGS LIKE THAT, I WAS GRATEFUL TO BE AT LEAST THAT GOOD, CONSIDERING, 3 YEARS AGO DOCTORS DIDN'T TRUST ME TO BREATHE ON MY OWN, WELL NEENER NEENER DOCS THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHO THEY WERE DEALING WITH, I HAVE MANY INCREDIBLE GUARDING ANGELS WITH ME DAILY
BOTH MY BABIES STARTED SCHOOL LAST MONTH HOW DID THAT HAPPEN SO FAST, I GET TO WALK LILLI TO HER SCHOOL,BUT I MAKE SURE TO HOLD MY HEAD HIGH AND SMILE TO ANYONE THAT MIGHT STARE, I KNOW ITS JUST CURIOSITY, I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT BECAUSE OF THIS, MY GIRLS ARE SO COMPATIONATE
GOD BLESS ALL
LOVE TAMI

CLEAR THE ROADS

2011-08-15T13:16:00.000-07:00

THOSE LOVELY ANGELS, THAT DRIVE ME PLACES WILL BE PLEASED TO KNOW, I TOOK ANOTHER DRIVING EVALUATION LAST WEEK, IT HAS BEEN JUST OVER A YEAR SINCE MY FIRST TEST, AND I DID AWESOME THIS TIME, SO AS I'M ABOUT TO BE 30, I'M READY TO START DRIVING SCHOOL,BESIDES FIXING MY GIRLS HAIR DRIVING IS ON THE TOP 5 TO DO LIST, BUT MANY THINK I DON'T DRIVE BECAUSE OF BEING 1 ARMED, BUT I'VE REALLY BEEN WAITING FOR MY BRAIN TO HEAL, MY VISION IS SCREWY, AND I'M VERY JUMPY, BUT I'M SLOWLY GETTING BETTER, EVERY LITTLE STEP COUNTS, I'M FULLY AWARE, THAT DRIVING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, IS STILL IN THE DISTANCE, BUT I'VE GOT TO START SOME WHERE, UNPOPULATED AREA, OF COURSE THE GIRLS HAVE NO MEMORY OF ME FROM BEFORE, SO THE IDEA OF MOM DRIVING IS UN HEARD OF, AND I'VE TOLD THEM THEY WONT BE RIDING WITH MOM FOR A VERY LONG TIME
I MAY NOT DRIVE YET BUT MY WALKING STAMINA, IS GETTING MUCH BETTER,I SAY STAMINA BECAUSE, I HAVE TERRIBLE FORM, I LOOK FUNNY, BUT I'M OK WITH THAT BY NOW, I'M HAPPY TO BE INDEPENDENT.
MY JOURNEY CONTINUES
GOD BLESS
LOVE TAMI

RELEARN

2011-07-07T20:41:00.000-07:00

AS I WAS JUST MAKING A PEANUT-BUTTER/JELLY SANDWICH, AND TRYING TO BRACE THE PLATE WITH MY HIP SO I CAN SPRED THE PEANUT-BUTTER, IT OCCURED TO ME THAT I HAVE HAD NEARLY 3 YEARS IN THIS NEW AND COMPLICATED BODY, I HAVE ADAPTED TO BEING IN MY WORLD WITH 1 HAND, SO MUCH THAT AT TIMES I ACTUALLY HAVE TO REMEMBER WHAT LIFE IS LIKE WITH 2 HANDS, I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO "RELEARN" SO MANY THINGS WITH 2 HANDS AGAIN LIKE GETTING DRESSED WITH 2 HANDS OR LEARN TO TIE SHOES AGAIN BRADE HAIR, AND DO A PONYTAIL DRIVE, OH HOW MY LIST COULD GO ON AND ON, I WANT TO HOLD A NEW BABY WHILE STANDING UP, A DOCTOR SEUSE THOUGHT COMES TO MIND "OH THE WONDERFUL THINGS"
IN 3 LONG YEARS, I FEEL LIKE I HAD TO START BACK AT ABOUT 10 MONTHS OLD, AND COMPLETELY START OVER WITH THE MOST BASIC TASKS, AND YET AT 3 YEARS OLD I STILL CAN'T CLAP, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A SENSE OF HUMOR, AND I CAN SURELY LAUGH AT MYSELF, BUT SERIOUSLY, ONCE MY HAND/ARM COMES BACK, I WILL SEE THE WORLD THROUGH NEW EYES, AND I JOKE, BUT I REALLY MEAN IT, I WILL WAVE AT EVERY PERSON I SEE, JUST LIKE A BABY WOULD, I WRITE ALL THESE ENTRIES NOT SO MUCH FOR ANYONE ELSE, BUT FOR ME TO LOOK BACK AT, ONCE I'VE CONQUERED MY WORLD
GOD BLESS
LOVE TAMI

bring me a miracle

2011-07-05T20:13:00.000-07:00

SO ALBERTS CO-WORKER ASKED IF HE BELIEVED IN MIRACLES, ALBERT SAID PROVE IT, SO THEY ASKED IF THEY COULD PRAY FOR A MIRACLE FOR MY LEFT SIDE
I AM ALWAYS GRATEFUL FOR PRAYERS, AND HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE, SO ABSOLUTELY ASK AWAY I THOUGHT, WELL WE'VE ALL SEEN THOSE SHOWS WHERE A CHURCH HEALS SOMEONE MIRACULOUSLY RIGHT I WASN'T QUITE EXPECTING THE WHOLE PROCESS, I GOT TO THEIR CHURCH AND ABOUT 20 PEOPLE ALL SPOKE SPANISH EXCEPT 1 TRANSLATOR THEY GOT OIL ON THEIR HANDS PLACED THEM ON ME INSTANTLY I FELT OVERWHELMED WITH WARM ENERGY AND TEARS STARTED FALLING THEY CHANTED/SANG AND PRAYED INTENSLY FOR ABOUT 30 MIN THEY HAD EXPLAINED THAT THEY ARE JUST ASKING GOD FOR A MIRACLE NOT PERFORMING ONE, AND THAT I JUST NEEDED TO HAVE FAITH IN THE LORD TO HEAL ME
IT WAS ABSOLUTELY POWERFUL, ONCE THEY STOPPED PRAYING, AND MOVED THEIR HANDS AWAY MY WHOLE BODY JUST FELT FLOATY AND WARM COMPLETELY PAIN FREE IT'S REALLY HARD TO PUT INTO WORDS HOW I FELT
NOW I TRULY BELIEVE MY LIFE IS ALREADY A MIRACLE, BUT IT CAN'T HURT TO ASK FOR A MORE SPECIFIC ONE MAINLY FOR USE OF MY ARM/HAND,NO MIRACLE TO REPORT JUST YET, BUT I'M HOPEFUL, AND WILL BE PATIENT, IN GODS TIME MY ARM WILL RETURN.
IN ALL IT WAS A REMARKABLE EXPIRIENCE, FOR MYSELF AND MY LITTLE FAMILY, THE GIRLS WERE JUST SHOCKED AT THE WHOLE THING, LILLI SAID" I WAS CRYING AND DIDN'T KNOW WHY MOM" ELLA SAID "OKAY MOM WE PRAYED WHERE IS YOUR HAPPY HAND?"

TRAVELING

2011-06-30T11:08:00.000-07:00

I HAVE NEGLECTED POSTING, DUE TO MY BUSY LIFE
IN MAY, THE GIRLS,AND I TOOK A TRIP TO CALIFORNIA WITH ALBERTS FAMILY
IN JUNE, THE GIRLS AND I FLEW TO NORTH DAKOTA TO STAY WITH MY MOM-TERESA FOR 2 WEEKS
I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT BOTH TRIPS, BUT NOT ENOUGH TIME TO SIT AND TYPE IT ALL
:CALIFORNIA: I HAD BEEN ONCE BEFORE, A YEAR AND A HALF AGO, AND IT WAS VERY REWARDING FOR ME TO COMPARE MY RECOVERY FROM THE FIRST TRIP AND SECOND, SINCE I LIVE WITH MY BODY DAILY, I TEND TO FORGET THAT I'M STILL GETTING BETTER/STRONGER, I FEEL STAGNANT IN MY RECOVERY, BUT ON THIS TRIP I HAD MADE A CHOICE FOR MYSELF THAT THERE WOULD BE NO EXCEPTIONS OR ALTERING ANYTHING FOR ME, I WAS GOING TO CONTINUE ON WITH EVERYONE ELSE JUST THE SAME I WAS EXHAUSTED, BUT MANAGED IT
:NORTH DAKOTA, WAS VERY INTIMIDATING TO ME, TO FLY WITH JUST ME AND 2 CHILDREN BEING THAT I SOMETIMES NEED JUST AS MUCH HELP AS A CHILD, SO WE ASKED FOR DISABILITY ASSISTANCE AMAZING I SHOULD'VE ALWAYS FLOWN THAT WAY THEY WERE GREAT THEY TOOK CARE OF ME AND MY GIRLS WERE SO GOOD AT BEHAVING AND STAYING RIGHT WITH ME
WE STAYED FOR 2 VERY FUN WEEKS, ALBERT WAS GOING TOTALLY NUTS WITHOUT US HOME,ON OUR TRIP TERESA'S HUSBAND TOOK ME FOR A DRIVING LESSON IN HIS BIG YUKON, NOW I HAVEN'T BEEN IN A DRIVERS SEAT FOR NEARLY 3 YEARS, AND JUST AS I SUSPECTED I AM EXTREMLY DANGEROUS MAKING LEFT-HAND TURNS BUT IT WAS VERY NEAT TO SEE WHAT I NEED TO WORK ON, TERESA HAD ME USE HER RIDING LAWN MOWER TO PRACTICE DRIVING OF SORTS I DROVE IT FINE BUT I'M AN AWFUL LANDSCAPER WE HAD A GREAT TIME MEETING EVERYONE TERESA KNOWS AND SEEING HER LIFE THERE, WE EVEN DROVE UP TO CANADA FOR A DAY JUST FOR FUN
I REALLY SHOULD'VE DONE 2 SEPARATE ENTRIES I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY, AND MY GIRLS ARE GETTING INTO TROUBLE AS I TYPE, SO QUICK CLOSING
I'M SLOWLY TRYING THINGS OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE
GOD BLESS
LOVE TAMI

SECOND VISIT TO SAN DIEGO

2011-05-15T15:54:00.000-07:00

I HAD THE CHANCE TO GO TO SAN DIEGO WITH ALBERT'S FAMILY LAST WEEK I HAVE ONLY BEEN ONCE BEFORE ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF AGO IT WAS MY FIRST TRIP AWAY AFTER MY STROKE I WAS QUITE APPREHENSIVE ABOUT GOING SINCE I WAS STILL ADJUSTING TO MYSELF
MY GOAL ON THIS TRIP WAS TO MAKE SURE NO EXCEPTIONS WERE NEEDED ON MY PART I WAS GOING TO BE EXACTLY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND KEEP UP NO MATTER WHAT, AND TO SEE MY PROGRESS SINCE THE FIRST VISIT WAS VERY REWARDING TO ME THE THINGS I HAD STRUGGLED WITH BEFORE HAD BEEN NO TROUBLE AT ALL
I DID KEEP UP WITH THE BUSY SCHEDULE IT WAS EXHAUSTING FOR SURE, BUT I WAS SET ON BEING JUST LIKE THE REST EVEN IF I AM MUCH SLOWER AND 1 HANDED NO ONE HAD TO HELP OR CHANGE ANY THING FOR ME ALTHOUGH I DID NEED SOME HELP WITH FIXING HAIR FOR MYSELF AND THE GIRLS I ONLY STAYED 4 DAYS, BUT THE GIRLS GRANDMA'S WANTED TO KEEP THEM LONGER SO THE GIRLS STAYED AN EXTRA 5 DAYS AND HAD A BLAST
SO THE WHOLE TRIP HELPED REMIND ME HOW FAR I'VE COME IN THE LAST 8 MONTHS OR SO I'VE BEEN GETTING DISCOURAGE FEELING LIKE I WAS IMPROVING AS MUCH AS I SHOULD BE

WHERE'S MY COACH?

2011-04-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

SO IN MY HOUSE THE CONVERSATION OFTEN GOES STRAIGHT TO HOW I'M PROGRESSING OR HOW SOME THINK I SHOULD BE RECOVERING WHAT SHOULD I BE ABLE TO DO OR NOT DO AFTER YET ANOTHER LONG DEBATE OF THIS SAME OLD SAME OLD
SO I'M READY FOR A COACH THE KIND YOU SEE IN BOOT CAMP WITH A CLIPBOARD THAT SAYS OKAY TAMI NICE WORK OR THATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH TRY HARDER
I WISH THAT THEY ASSIGNED A PROGRESS COACH TO ME AT THE TIME I CAME HOME TO KEEP ME ON TRACK AND FOCUSSED, THE MORE TIME THAT PASSES MY MOTIVATION DRIFTS AWAY, AND FRUSTRATION GETS IN THE WAY: LOGICALLY I KNOW ITS THE WRONG PATH TO TAKE, AND EVEN AFTER 2 YEARS I'M STILL TRYING TO PROCESS ALL THAT HAS REALLY TAKEN PLACE
SO BASICALLY I WANT A REFEREE TO KEEP ME ON TRACK AND A COACH TO KICK MY ASS AND KEEP ME MOTIVATED FOR MY 25 YEARS I WOULD PICK A GOAL AND ACHIEVE IT NO QUESTIONS ASKED, AND NOW I SECOND GUESS EVERY THING I DON'T TRUST MY DECISION MAKING AND I'M JUST PLAIN SCARED OF MY BODY I'M A GROWN WOMAN YET HAVE SUCH DOUBT, IN MY DIRECTION HOW FORIEGN TO A WOMAN THAT WAS EXTREMELY SELF CONFIDANT AND HEAD STRONG
LIFE IS ODD
JUST MY THOUGHTS FOR THIS WEEK
GOD BLESS
TRULY TAMI

ITS WORKING MOM LOOK!

2011-02-27T21:52:00.000-08:00

I HAVE BEEN DOING BIO-FEED-BACK TREATMENT ON MY LEFT ARM FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE FOREVER, BUT REALLY ONE AND A HAL YEARS THE PROGRESS IS PAINFULLY SLOW, AND DIFFICULT
MY MOST RECENT CHALLENGE HAS BEEN TRYING TO OPEN AND SHUT MY HAND THE MORE MUSCLES THAT ACTUALLY WORK THE LESS TENSE MY ARM IS
MY ELLA HAS NOTICED SHE SAW MY HAND LAYING OPEN ONE DAY, SO SHE STUCK HER FINGERS IN, AND I WANTED TO SHOW OFF SO I TIGHTENED MY HAND SHUT ON HER ITS EASIER TO SHUT MY HAND THAN OPEN IT SHE SPOKE WITH EXCITEMENT" MOM YOUR HAND IS GETTING HAPPY" THE GIRLS CALL IT MY SAD HAND THEY SAY MY WHOLE LEFT SIDE IS VERY SAD, AND IT IS
FOR ME TO SEE HER SO EXCITED FOR ME WAS VERY REWARDING THEY TRULY NOTICE ALL MY LITTLE IMPROVEMENTS
AND NOW I AM ABLE TO PULL MY FINGERS OPEN, AND HAVE THEM PUT STUFF IN IT FOR ME TO HOLD ONTO ITS NOT USEFUL, BUT IT IS VERY NEAT TO DO SOMETHING WITH IT.
PRACTICE PRACTICE MOM.

I HAVE BEEN GOING TO THERAPY EVERY OTHER WEEK TO SAVE ON COST, BUT WE DECIDED TO GO BACK TO MY SHOULDER LAST WEEK JUST TO DOUBLE CHECK THE MUSCLE STRENGTH FROM BEFORE, AND SURE ENOUGH IT WAS JUST FINE.
I JOKE THAT ONCE MY HAND DOES WORK I'M JUST GOING TO WAVE AT EVERONE, AND I REALLY WILL EVEN IF I LOOK SILLY I WILL BE SO EXCITED TO SHOW MY PROGRESS, LIKE A BABY LEARNING TO WAVE
I KNOW MY GIRLS WON'T MIND.
GOD BLESS
TRULY TAMI.

MY GRAND CANYON

2011-02-18T21:39:00.000-08:00

I THOUGHT I SHOULD WRITE THIS STORY WHILE ITS FRESH IN MY HEAD

MY ARM THERAPY MOVED TO A NEW BUILDING, WHICH HAS A GLASS ELEVATOR, AND YESTERDAY WE JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE OUR STROKE SUPPORT MEETING UPSTAIRS FOR THE FIRST TIME GETTING ON THE ELEVATOR AT FLOOR LEVEL WAS JUST AS HARD AS IS ANY ELEVATOR FOR ME,
BUT TO EXIT THE ELEVATOR ON THE SECOND FLOOR WAS QUITE DIFFICULT SINCE I COULD SEE DOWN,IN ALL IT WAS ALMOST 5 MINUTES JUST TO STEP OFF THROUGH THE WHOLE MEETING MY STOMACHE WAS TURNING KNOWING I WOULD HAVE TO GO DOWN AGAIN, MY GRANDMA ANN WAS WITH ME AND SO VERY PATIENT SO SHE WAS HOLDING MY HAND TO GET ON WHILE 2 ELDERLY WOMEN WITH WALKERS WAITED BEHIND ME SEEING IF THEY COULD HELP, WELL THE DOOR STARTED TO CLOSE ON ANN ALL THE WHILE I AM FROZEN WITH FEAR AND SHAKING WITH ANXIETY
ANYONE WOULD THINK I WAS STEPPING OVER THE GRAND CANYON, NOT ONTO AN ELEVATOR 1 FLOOR UP ONCE I GOT ON I HAD TO CONCENTRATE ON NOT LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW OR CRYING OVER MY EMBARASSMENT SERIOUSLY IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT TO PANIC OVER SUCH THINGS
ONCE I GOT OFF I WAS SHAKINGSO MUCH YOU'D THINK I JUST FOUGHT A SHARK, MY BEAUTIFUL GRANDMA SAYS" LETS DO IT AGAIN" TO CONQUER THE FEAR I THOUGHT I MIGHT PUKE
"NOT TODAY" I SAID THEN OFF TO THERAPY, MY P.T. STEVE IS SO KIND AND TRIES TO MAKE ME FEEL COMFORTABLE ABOUT MY BRAIN TROUBLES, AS WE WERE LEAVING MY GRANDMA SAYS SHE WANTS ME TO TRY THE ELEVATOR 10 TIMES TILL I'M OVER IT WHICH MAKES PERFECT SENSE, BUT I'LL HAVE TO WAIT TILL MY TRAUMA FADES I KNOW THERE WILL BE A DAY THAT I WON'T CRY OVER AN ELEVATOR OR HEIGHTS BUT FOR NOW I DID COME HOME AND CRY IT MAKES ME SCREAM INSIDE I'VE GOT TO BE TOUGHER THAN THAT. A WHOLE ENTRY ABOUT FEAR
IN THE MEEN TIME I HAVE BEEN WALKING THE GIRLS TO A NEW SPANISH PRESCHOOL THEY LOVE IT AND I'M HAVING FUN WATCHING THEM AND WE ALL LEARN SPANISH IT'S JUST WONDERFUL.

AFTER THE HOLIDAYS

2011-01-16T09:51:00.000-08:00

WE HAVE LEARNED IN THE PAST THAT THE KIDS GET SPOILED BY PLENTY AT CHRISTMAS SO ALBERT AND I USUALLY GET THEM 1 BIG ITEM AND LRT THEM ENJOY THE REST OF THEIR GIFTS FROM AUNTS UNCLES GRANDMA'S AND SUCH
UNFORTUNATLY ALBERT LOST HIS JOB AT THE FIRST OF DECEMBER THE COMPANY SHUT DOWN AND OF CORSE I'M NOT WORKING YET SO THANK HEAVENS FOR MY DISABILITY INCOME, SO WE KNEW CHRISTMAS WAS NOT ABOUT GIFTS THIS YEAR I'M ODDLY AT PEACE WHEN IT COMES TO FINANCES I JOKE THAT THEY REMOVED MY WORRY SWITCH WHEN THEY CLEARED OUT MY BRAIN OTHER THAN ELEVATORS AND HEIGHTS NOT MUCH FREAKS ME OUT ANYMORE, BUT ELEVATORS AND HEIGHTS CAUSE ULTIMATE PANIC IN ME
SO CHRISTMAS WAS LOVELY THE GIRLS GOT PLENTY OF LOVE AND TOYS, ALBERTS FAMILY TRAVELED FROM SAN DIEGO THAT WAS REALLY FUN
NEW YEARS EVE THE FOUR OF US WENT DOWN TOWN TO THE FESTIVITIES OF SAINT GEORGE IT WAS FREEZING COLD, SO WE DIDN'T STAY FOR FIRE WORKS ALBERT GOT SPARKLERS AT THE STORE WE CAME HOME AND ACTUALLY STAYED UP TILL MIDNIGHT
MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION IS THE BIGGEST I'VE HAD YET I PLAN ON GETTING MY DRIVERS LISENCE B Y SEPTEMBER WHICH WILL BE MY 30TH BIRTHDAY AFTER MY STROKE I WAS SO EXCITED FOR MY 30TH KNOWING HOW MUCH STRONGER I WOULD BE BY THEN I WAS RIGHT I STILL HAVE A MILLION THINGS I WANT TO DO OR THINGS I MISS SO MUCH, BUT I ALSO KNOW I HAVE ACOMPLISHED INCREDABLE THINGS IN THE TIME SINCE MY BRAIN BROKE, SO THIS YEAR IS MY YEAR TO PROVE MYSELF TO ME
MY ARM MAKES ME NUTS TO HAVE IT HANG THERE IS A CONSTANT UPSET TO ME ALTHOUGH I COULD NEVER GIVE UP HOPE OF GETTING IT BACK TO WORK IT'S EXTREMELY SLOW AND DIFFICULT, BUT I HAVE GAINED 4 MUSCLE MOVEMENTS IN IT WITH BIO FEEDBACK SESSIONS
I T HAD OCCURED TO ME ONE DAY THAT WHAT IF GODS WILL WAS TO LEAVE ME ONE SIDED FOR LIFE, AND I HAVE ALWAYS HAD TRUST IN GOD, BUT THAT THOUGHT DISTURBED ME, SO I TOLD TERESA, AND SHE SAID IF THAT WAS HIS PLAN HOW WOULD I FIND THIS AWSOME THERAPY THAT JUST HAPPENED TO BE ONE OF 17 IN THE COUNTRY IN MY SMALL TOWN THAT BROUGHT ME SMALL COMFORT
AS I START ANOTHER NEW YEAR OF RECOVERY I HAVE HIGH HOPES AND GOALS TO REACH
I AM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THE PRAYERS AND HELP I HAVE AND STILL DO RECIEVE
GOD BLESS, AND LOVE TO ALL
FROM TAMI

time flys

2010-12-29T21:15:00.000-08:00

ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I HAVE MADE A POST I THINK OF IT OFTEN, BUT RARELY FIND THE TIME TO GET ON HERE
THANKSGIVING CAME AND WENT WE HAD A LOVELY DINNER AT AUNT MONICA'S AND A SURPRISE VISITOR MY BROTHER LOGAN STOPED IN AND STAYED THROUGH THE WEEK IT WAS VERY NICE MY GIRLS JUST HAVE SO MUCH FUN WITH HIM
I ALWAYS HAVE SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR SOME BIG THINGS AND LOTS OF LITTLE THINGS THAT ARE BIG TO ME
1. I CAN BATHE AND DRESS MYSELF WHICH MIGHT SEEM SMALL TO SOME INCLUDING ME AT ONE POINT, BUT WASN'T THE CASE FOR AWHILE
2. I CAN WALK AND TALK
3. I CONTINUE TO MAKE PROGRESS SMALL, BUT STILL THERE
IN ALL MY THANKS I STILL HAVE EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING MOMENTS THERE SEEMS TO BE NO AREA OF MY LIFE THAT HASN'T BEEN AFFECTED BY THAT BLASTED STROKE
I TRY TO KEEP THIS BLOG AS A REMINDER OF HOW FAR I'VE COME AND SO THAT WHEN ITS ALL A MEMORY I CAN READ THROUGH MY EXPERIENCE AND SEE LESSONS LEARNED, WHICH HAVE BEEN MANY
:DECEMBER 1ST I HAD A SURGERY TO UNFORTUNATELY STERILIZE ME A PREGNANCY COULD BE VERY DANGEROUS I KNEW THIS WAS SOMETHING THAT MADE LOGICAL SENSE, BUT IT WAS STILL EMOTIONALLY VERY HARD I ADORE MY DAUGHTERS AND BEING A MOM THE IDEA OF NEVER GETTING TO BE PREGNANT AGAIN BROKE MY HEART THE SURGERY WENT PERFECTLY DESPITE MY TROUBLESOME BLOOD
DECEMBER 10TH THE GIRLS AND I HAD THE OPRATUNATY TO TRAVEL WITH MY BROTHER TRAVIS AND HIS FAMILY TO YUMA ARIZONA FOR AN UNCLES WEDDING THE GIRS AND I STAYED AT MY UNCLE JERRY'S HOUSE WITH GRANDMA TERESA WE HAD A GREAT TIME, AND I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE ALL THE FAMILY AND ALSO TO SHOW MY PROGRESS
CHRISTMAS WAS SMALL, BUT GREAT MY DAUGHTERS GIVE ME SO MUCH LIFE AND LOVE
NEW YEAR 2011 I LOOK FORWARD TO ANOTHER YEAR AND NEW GOALS BEFORE THIS STROKE THERE WAS NEVER A GOAL I DIDN'T REACH I PLAN TO CONTINUE IN THAT
MY ARM IS MY BIGGEST CHALLENGE I CURRENTLY HAVE MOVEMENT OF THE DELTOID BICEP AND TRICEP, NOTHING USEFUL YET, BUT PROOF THAT IT CAN BE DONE:A FEW WEEKS AGO THE THOUGHT OCURED TO ME THAT MAYBE GODS WILL IS TO HAVE ME LIVE WITH HALF A BODY,AND OH BOY THAT FREAKED ME OUT I HAVE ALWAYS HAD FAITH IN GOD,BUT I WOULD SERIOUSLY HAVE TROUBLE WITH THAT PLAN I KNOW THERE IS PURPOSE TO MY CHALLENGE, BUT I DO BEG FOR MERCY IN THAT AREA I'M TOUGH, BUT I STILL FEEL YOUNG AND COULDN'T BARE TO LIVE OUT MY YEARS WITH 1 ARM/HAND
I CONTINUE TO HAVE VERY FREQUENT FLASHBACKS OF MY TIME IN I.C.U ITS CRAZY TO ME HOW MUCH I REMEMBER IT MAKES ME NUTS TO ALWAYS THINK OF IT THE MOMENT MY EYES CLOSE OR IT GETS SILENT I AM RIGHT BACK THERE IN A COMA
I USE FACE BOOK A LOT AND HAVE COME IN CONTACT WITH MANY OTHER YOUNG SURVIVORS WHICH IS COMFORTING TO COMUNICATE WITH OTHERS FACING THE SAME CHALLENGES I EVEN MET A GIRL THAT HAD HER STROKE THE SAME WEEKEND, AND WE ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AGE
MY DAUGHTERS ARE MY BIGGEST HELPERS AND THE OLDER THEY GET THE MORE THEY CAN DO WITH ME I AM SOO VERY PROUD OF THEIR COMPASSION NOT JUST FOR MOM, BUT FOR ALL PEOPLE
I NOTICE THE LONGER IT TAKES ME TO GET BETTER THE LESS PATIENCE I HAVE WITH MYSELF
BUT ITS ALSO BEEN LONG ENOUGH THAT I FIND SOME OF ME FACINATING MY NEW FEARS AND REALITIES, AND HOW MY BRAIN IS HEALING DIFFERENT PARTS OF ME
I AM SO AMAZINGLY BLESSED BY THE ONES THAT EVEN AFTER 2 1/2 YEARS STILL HELP WHEN I NEED IT I STRUGLE WITH BEING DEPENDANT STILL FOR RIDES AND SUCH MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTION IS TO BE DRIVING BY SEPTEMBER MY 30TH BIRTHDAY
MY PHYSICAL THERAPIST HAD ME TESTED FOR SOME NEW DEVICES THAT HELP WITH MY ARM AND WALKING THE WALKING AID DIDN'T WORK TO WELL WITH MY FOOT,BUT THE HAND DEVICE MIGHT IN THE FUTURE ITS VERY PRICEY, SO TIME WILL TELL
IN CLOSING I AM STILL MOVING FORWARD A BIT SIDEWAYS, BUT FORWARD
GOD BLESS AND LOVE TO ALL.
TRULY TAMI.

Vegas bound

2010-10-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

THIS LAST WEEKEND, WE TOOK A TRIP TO LAS VEGAS, FOR ALBERTS SISTER AMANDA'S WEDDING. WE HAD BEEN PREPARING FOR WEEKS. PLANNING WHAT TO WEAR, AND GETTING MYSELF READY TO GO TO THE BUFFET ON MY OWN. SINCE ALBERT WOULD BE GETTING PLATES FOR THE KIDS, I KNEW I NEEDED TO BE ABLE TO GET AND CARRY MY OWN. THIS WOULD MEAN I NEEDED NO CANE, AND TO BE ABLE TO BALANCE MY PLATE.
WE ARRIVED ON FRIDAY MORNING AT OUR "CASTLE HOTEL" THE EXCALIBUR. THIS WAS INTENTIONAL SO THAT THE GIRLS COULD BE PRINCESSES. ALBERT HELD ELLAS HAND AND LILLI WALKED BY ME THROUGH CHECK- IN. WE FOUND OUR ROOM, AND SETTLED IN. LATER THAT NIGHT WE TRIED TO WALK OVER TO THE HOTEL THE REST OF THE FAMILY WAS IN. I DID FINE WITH THIS, AND WAS DETERMINED TO KEEP UP FOR THE WEEKEND. WELL ELEVATORS ARE AN ENEMY OF MINE, FOR SOME REASON. IT IS VERY HARD FOR ME TO STEP ON. I GET WORRIED THE DOORS WILL CLOSE TO SOON. I HAD DONE PRETTY DARN GOOD THE FIRST 5 OR SO ELEVATORS, BUT THINGS GOT REALLY BAD BY ABOUT NUMBER 8. WE WERE LOST AND JUST RIDING ELEVATORS WHEREVER, AND THEN DISASTER! THE ELEVATORS BECAME THE SEE- THROUGH GLASS ONES, AND SINCE MY STROKE I HAVE BEEN TERRIBLY SCARED OF HEIGHTS. I BECOME FROZEN WITH FEAR, FULL BLOWN PANIC. SO I COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO GET ON. ALBERT FINALLY JUST GRABBED ME AND PUT ME IN ONE. THE NIGHT WAS A MESS AFTER THAT POINT. WE FINALLY GAVE UP AND WENT BACK TO OUR ROOM.
SATURDAY WAS THE WEDDING, SO WE ALL GOT DRESSED UP AND HEADED TO THEIR HOTEL. QUITE A LONG WALK FOR ME, BUT I WAS HANGING IN. DURING THE RECEPTION DINNER, I HAD TO TAKE THE GIRLS TO THE BATHROOM, AND WHILE WALKING, I STARTED TO LOSE FEELING IN MY LEFT LEG, AND THOUGHT IT WAS NOT GOING TO TAKE ANOTHER STEP. ONCE THE FEELING RETURNED, MY KNEE HURT LIKE HELL! IT WAS DONE. THEY DID A TOAST FOR THE BRIDE, AND SO I HAD A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE, NOT KNOWING THAT BY DRINKING, THAT IT WOULD IMPROVE MY WALK. BUT, IT DID. I COULD WALK BACK TO OUR HOTEL MUCH EASIER. I NEVER DRINK, SO ONE GLASS WAS ALL IT TOOK. BY THE TIME I WAS IN THE ROOM, MY KNEE HURT SOO BAD!! ALBERT AND THE FAMILY WERE GOING OUT TO A CLUB THAT NIGHT, AND OHH HOW MY HEART WANTED TO GO, BUT KNOWING MY BODY WOULDN'T MAKE IT, THE GIRLS AND I GOT PIZZA ROOM SERVICE, WHICH WAS EXTREMELY EXCITING TO THEM, AND MADE IT FUN FOR ME!
THIS IS VERY DETAILED, SO THAT WHEN I READ IT 2 YEARS FROM NOW, I CAN LAUGH AT HOW FAR I'VE COME, AFTER 2 DAYS IN VEGAS. SEEING ALL KINDS OF PRETTY YOUNG PEOPLE, IT WAS WEARING ON MY EGO A LOT! THAT THAT PHASE IN MY LIFE IS SOO FAR GONE. I KNOW THIS EVERY DAY, BUT SOMEHOW VEGAS MADE IT HARDER FOR ME TO TOLERATE. I WAS GETTING MORE AND MORE FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF EVERY MINUTE. IT WAS A BATTLE OVER BEING GRATEFUL FOR HOW FAR I'VE COME, BUT SEEING HOW FAR I WANT TO BE AT THE SAME TIME.
IN THE END, I MADE IT THROUGH, AND HAD SOME FUN. I'M IN NO HURRY TO GO BACK. I NEED ONE MORE YEAR OF RECOVERY I THINK, AND SOME COUNSELING, TO ACCEPT MYSELF AND MY NEW LIFE, IN CONTRAST WITH OTHER 20 SOMETHING PEOPLE. I KEPT AND KEEP REMINDING MYSELF THAT THIS IS TEMPORARY LONG, BUT TEMPORARY I WILL CHOOSE TO KEEP GOING.
MAYBE NEXT TIME I WILL DANCE!
GOD BLESS,
TAKE CARE,
LOVE TAMI.

September review

2010-10-01T14:54:00.000-07:00

WOW! TIME GOES TOO FAST. I KEPT THINKING I'LL GET ON HERE AND TELL ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY. WE WENT OUT TO DINNER AS A FAMILY FRIDAY NIGHT. EVERY TIME THEY WOULD ANNOUNCE ---- PARTY OF 5 YOUR TABLE IS READY, LILLI WOULD LOOK AROUND AND SAY WHERE'S THE PARTY? I WANT TO GO. SO I TOLD HER WE WERE A PARTY OF 4, AND WHEN WE LEFT LILLI SAID "WAIT MOM, WE MISSED THE PARTY FOR 4!" She is always making us laugh!
Sunday morning, my actual birthday, the girls had a cake for me, and we had it for breakfast. Grandma Ann took us to Golden Corral for lunch, and Aunt Patty and Uncle Riley came. It was very yummy and fun. Grandma made me a card to celebrate my 2nd birthday, since I had my 2 year stroke anniversary. I kept joking that I was now 2 years old, since I do feel that way in a lot of areas, that someone hit my reset button and made me start all over.
But really, it was my 29th birthday, which is one I am very happy to have made it to! I think I really had us guessing for awhile.
My birthday celebration lasted a full week, and was wonderful to feel so loved by so many!

In September I also had another e.e.g test, and had my eyes checked again, due to the previous troubles with light and seizures. Happily my eyes have improved since my last test in December. That makes me very happy to know they can improve. My sweet aunt/godmother Liz, has said she will pay for my new " special" glasses that are supposed to help with both indoor light and in turn my headaches. They are a special pink tint. I just have to go get them from a certain doctor, and I think I will just have to learn to use contacts again, and buy some super dark shades for outside.
Until now I have just avoided bright lights and too much sun. I get pretty sick if I push my time in lights, but I'm happy to know these things can be fixed.
My neurologist had discussed a new seizure medicine, but the side effects are weight loss and depression, so I'm not going to switch. I'm not willing to challenge either one of those things.
After 2 full years I have finally gained all my weight back, and people sure notice! I keep getting told that I have gained weight. Good thing I was trying to, so I don't get offended! I WAS EVEN ASKED IF I WAS ON A NEW MED. THAT MAKES MY FACE SWELL. THAT REALLY MADE ME LAUGH! I SAID, " NO I'M JUST GAINING WEIGHT."

IN AUGUST, ALBERT AGREED TO HAVE A CLEANING LADY COME, ONCE A WEEK, TO HELP ME OUT. I HAVE STRUGGLED WITH KEEPING UP ON ALL OF THE CLEANING, WHILE HAVING BOTH GIRLS HOME. I KNOW WOMEN DO THIS ALL THE TIME, WITH MORE KIDS, BUT I WILL FULLY ADMIT, I REALLY SUCK AT KEEPING UP WITH ALL THE HOUSE WORK ALONE. SINCE ALBERT'S WORKING OUT OF TOWN, I WAS FEELING LIKE I WAS DROWNING BY THE TIME HE WOULD COME HOME. HE WOULD SAY HE DIDN'T WANT TO HELP, AND WOULD RATHER PAY SOMEONE TO HELP.
AT FIRST, I WAS VERY OFFENDED, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT, AS THE OLD ME, I WAS FINE, BUT ONCE I GOT OVER THAT, I ABSOLUTELY EMBRACED THE IDEA! AND NOW I LOVE HAVING HER COME! SHE IS A FRIEND OF AUNT MONICAS, AND MOST OF THE TIME I HAVE HER HELP WITH LAUNDRY.
I JOKE THAT I JUST HAD TO HAVE A STROKE TO FINALLY GET A MAID. THE GIRLS CONTINUE TO KEEP ME GOING EVERY DAY. MY SAD HAND IS STILL SAD, BUT I'M NOT GIVING UP HOPE ON IT. I HAVE REALLY DEVELOPED A GRUDGE AGAINST IT THOUGH.
I WILL HAVE TO START A NEW ENTRY SOON, SINCE TIME GETS AWAY FROM ME, AND I WANT TO KEEP A GOOD RECORD OF MY JOURNEY.
GOD BLESS LOVE TAMI

befriending my sad hand.

2010-09-06T19:18:00.000-07:00

I HAVE BEEN NOTICING THAT MY SAD HAND IS MORE RELAXED THAN IT HAS BEEN IN 2 YEARS. IT USUALLY STAYS IN A FIST, SO FRIDAY MORNING I MANAGED TO PAINT MY FINGER NAILS ON THAT HAND. ITS PRETTY COMPLICATED TRYING TO GET EACH FINGER PAINTED BEFORE IT CLENCHES UP AGAIN.
I DID GET IT DONE THOUGH, IN A BRIGHT RED. I HAVE NOTICED THAT IT DOESN'T LOOK AS ALIEN TO ME NOW, SINCE THEY LOOK ALMOST NORMAL PAINTED. I SHOULD HAVE PAINTED THEM LONG AGO.
MY ARM IS ATTACHED, BUT HAS NO CONNECTION TO ME ANY MORE, BUT ODDLY, SEEING IT WITH PAINTED LADY NAILS MAKES ME NOT HATE IT QUITE AS MUCH. LIKE A KID THAT'S A BRAT, BUT TOO CUTE TO HATE. FUNNY HOW SUCH A SMALL THING MADE A DIFFERENCE TO ME.
I GO IN FOR A VERY INTENSE VISION TEST TOMORROW. THEN WITH HOPE, I CAN LOOK INTO GETTING MY NEW INDOOR SHADES. MY DOC HAS CHOSEN A SPECIAL KIND OF PINK LENSES THAT ARE SPECIFICALLY FOR HEADACHE PREVENTION, DUE TO MY ISSUES WITH BRIGHT LIGHTS.
YESTERDAY WE WENT TO THE MOUNTAINS TO SPEND THE DAY. WITHIN HOURS I COULD TELL I WAS GETTING SICK FROM THE BRIGHT SUNLIGHT. I TRIED TO HIDE IN THE TRAILERS FOR DARKNESS. IT WASN'T WORKING, SO I HAD TO HAVE ALBERT TAKE ME HOME. A TWO HOUR DRIVE HOME WITH MASSIVE MIGRAINE PAIN! TIME FOR THE PITCH-BLACK, WRAP AROUND, OLD PEOPLE, GLASSES FOR ME.

ALL THE JOYS OF LIFE BEFORE MY 30'S
GOD BLESS
TAKE CARE
LOVE TAMI

2 YEARS ANNIVERSARY!

2010-09-01T18:13:00.000-07:00

HI! SO YESTERDAY MARKED MY 2 YEARS OF SURVIVAL AND PROGRESS! I HAPPILY WALKED ELLA TO THE PARK TO PLAY AND MADE SURE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE PROGRESS. THAT WAS GREAT AND FUN.
BUT LAST WEEKEND WAS HARDER FOR ME, REMEMBERING HOW MY LIFE WAS 2 YEARS AND 1 WEEK AGO. I WAS STRUGGLING WITH THAT QUITE A BIT. THERE IS NOT MUCH I WOULDN'T DO TO TURN BACK TIME AND PAUSE MY LIFE AS IT WAS. TRY AS I MIGHT TO LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE, I SURELY HAVE BITTER THOUGHTS OF WANTING MY WORLD BACK.
BUT ON A HAPPY NOTE I DID SURVIVE 2 YEARS, AND IT WILL ONLY GET BETTER FROM HERE. I WILL WORK DOING MASSAGE AGAIN ONE DAY, AND I WILL RIDE A BIKE AND DANCE, AND BRAID THE GIRLS HAIR. MY LIST GOES ON AND ON, BUT GOALS GIVE YOU FIGHTING POWER!
MY BIGGEST AND GREATEST THANK YOUS TO THE HUNDREDS THAT HAVE HELPED ME MAKE IT 2 YEARS. WORDS AREN'T ENOUGH FOR HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO SO MANY ANGELS ON EARTH!

LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL
GOD BLESS
LOVE TAMI

LATEST UPDATE.

2010-08-24T20:26:00.000-07:00

SO AFTER MY SLEEP STUDY, MY NEUROLOGIST ORDERED ONE MORE E.E.G. BACK TO THE SAME SLEEP CENTER TO HAVE MY HEAD COVERED WITH GLUE AND ELECTRODES. I'M USED TO THIS ROUTINE BY NOW. THE HARDEST PART IS THAT I HAVE TO BE SLEEP DEPRIVED FOR THIS TEST. SO THE NIGHT BEFORE, I'M ONLY SUPPOSED TO GET 4 HOURS OF SLEEP, AND WAS NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE MY VERY NECESSARY TYLENOL P.M, WHICH RESULTED IN ME BEING AWAKE THE ENTIRE NIGHT! I HAVE YET TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP WITHOUT AN AID SINCE MY STROKE. MAYBE MY BRAIN FORGOT HOW THIS WORKS.
GRANDMA ANN WAS TAKING ME TO THE APPOINTMENT IN BETWEEN 2 OF HER OWN. JESSICA WATCHED THE GIRLS, AND I BEGGED HER TO KEEP THEM LONGER SO I COULD SLEEP WHEN I CAME HOME. THE OTHER TIMES I DID THIS TEST MOTHER TERESA WAS HERE TO LET ME SLEEP, SO I WOULDN'T GET A MIGRAINE.
THE NEXT DAY I MET WITH MY DOCTOR AND SHE DISCUSSED A FEW THINGS, BUT SEEMED UNFAZED BY THE SLEEP STUDY RESULTS. SHE DID PRESCRIBE A SPECIAL PINK TINTED LENS FOR MY NEW GLASSES, WHICH I SHOULD GET AFTER AN EYE EXAM.
SHE ALSO IS THINKING ABOUT A NEW SEIZURE MEDICINE. THAT WORRIES ME. I REALLY HATE TO CHANGE THAT DRUG. BESIDES THE ONE SHE'S THINKING ABOUT IS KNOWN TO CAUSE WEIGHT LOSS AND DEPRESSION, TWO THINGS THAT ARE VERY IMPORTANT FOR ME TO AVOID AT ALL COSTS.
I AM IN NEED OF THE NEW EXTENSIVE EYE EXAM, AND THEN A FOLLOW UP TO DISCUSS THE NEW DRUG. SO FINGERS CROSSED THAT I DON'T HAVE TO SWITCH. I SERIOUSLY CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE ANY WEIGHT. IT'S TAKEN ALMOST 2 FULL YEARS TO GET BACK WHAT WAS LOST, AND GETTING DEPRESSED IS NOT AN OPTION!
2 YEARS ON AUGUST 31ST!!!!!!
INCREDIBLE IT'S BEEN THE MOST CHALLENGING 2 YEARS EVER, BUT ALSO A RELIEF TO HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR. I WILL BE CELEBRATING A 2ND BIRTHDAY RIGHT BEFORE MY 29TH BIRTHDAY. HOW RIDICULOUS! WISH I KNEW WHAT GODS PLAN WAS, AND I HOPE WITH ALL MY BEING THAT I TURN OUT AS GOOD AS HE PLANS. BECAUSE I NEVER WANT TO REPEAT ANY OF THIS!
MY CREW OF ANGELS CONTINUE TO HELP AND AMAZE ME.
ALBERT ASKED ME TONIGHT WHAT I MISS THE MOST, THIS MAKES ME LAUGH, SINCE THERE ISN'T EVEN ONE SMALL THING THAT I DON'T MISS, OR THINK THANK GOODNESS I'M NOT ABLE TO DO THAT ANY MORE.
LIFE GOES ON, AND I AM SLOW AND STEADY TO WIN MY RACE.
GOD BLESS TO ALL
LOVE FROM TAMI.

a medical update.

2010-07-31T16:00:00.000-07:00

HI THERE ALL. I HAVE HAD A FEW NEW HEALTH THINGS. I USUALLY ENJOY WRITING ABOUT JUST MY DAILY LIVING, BUT SOME HEALTH THINGS ARE NEW, SO I'LL UPDATE THOSE OF YOU THAT DON'T SEE ME REGULARLY.
LAST MONTH MY NEUROLOGISTS SCHEDULED AN OVERNIGHT SLEEP STUDY, TO BE DONE ON ME, TO TRY AND FIND OUT WHY I AM CONSTANTLY FATIGUED AND HAVE DAILY HEADACHES.
I PERSONALLY WANT TO KNOW ALSO. I JUST REALLY HATE HAVING TESTS DONE.
IT WAS FOR JULY 8TH, AND ALBERT WORKS OUT OF TOWN, SO I ARRANGED FOR PART OF MY "ANGEL CREW" TO HELP ME. AUNT MONICA DROVE ME TO THE HOSPITAL AND THEN KEPT THE GIRLS OVERNIGHT.
ONCE I GOT THERE, THEY TOOK ME TO A FAKE BEDROOM AND PROCEEDED TO PASTE ABOUT 50 WIRES, AND ELECTRODES TO MY HEAD. NOW I HAVE HAD THIS DONE BEFORE, BUT NEVER HAD THEM ON FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR OR SO.
ONCE MY HEAD WAS RIGGED UP, THEY PUT SOME MORE ON MY CHEST AND SHOULDERS, FOR HEART MONITORING, THEN ATTACHED IT ALL TO A HARNESS AROUND MY CHEST AND WAIST. ONCE THAT WAS DONE, THEY PUT SOME ON MY LEFT LEG AS WELL, STRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER IN A CONTRAPTION THAT WAS LITERALLY HEAD TO TOE. BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THERE, MY FACE LOOKED BARE, SO THEN I GOT 8 THINGS TAPED AND PASTED THERE, ONLY TO BE TOLD "JUST RELAX AND SLEEP NORMAL", SERIOUSLY THEY HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!!
SO I WATCHED A LITTLE TV, HOPING TO GET AS TIRED AS I COULD GET, AND POSSIBLY SLEEP A BIT. THERE IS A SPEAKER ABOVE MY HEAD SO THE NURSE CAN HEAR ME, IF I NEED HELP, OR BY CHANCE, HANG MYSELF IN THIS CONTRAPTION!!! I AM ALSO BEING RECORDED FROM THE CEILING , WEIRD!! " NOW SLEEP MY PRETTY".
AMAZINGLY, I DO FALL ASLEEP, AND WAKE TO PITCH BLACKNESS, NO CLOCK OR IDEA OF WHAT TO DO NEXT, SO I SPEAK TO THE WALL, AND ASK IF I MAY USE THE RESTROOM. THE NURSE COMES IN AND HANDS ME THE POWER BOX TO MY CORDS, WHICH I HAVE TO CARRY WITH ME TO THE RESTROOM. I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME! I GO BACK IN MY ROOM THINKING IT'S ALMOST OVER, THEN TO MY SURPRISE, SHE SAYS," OK GOODNIGHT". I WAS SERIOUSLY DISAPPOINTED. I WAS THINKING NOW WAIT, I SLEPT, I'M AWAKE, LET ME OUT! BUT I DID AS TOLD, AND GOT BACK IN BED ONLY TO LIE THERE, TRYING TO WISH MY WAY HOME. AFTER AN HOUR OF THAT, I SPOKE AT THE WALL AGAIN, AND ASKED IF I COULD GET UP NOW? FEELING LIKE A TODDLER IN TROUBLE WAITING FOR MOM, THE NURSE SPOKE BACK THROUGH THE WALL, AND SAID SHE WAS ON HER WAY. AFTER QUITE THE PROCEDURE OF UNHOOKING ME, I WAS ALLOWED TO GO SHOWER AND GET DRESSED. MY HAIR IS FULL OF GLUE AND PASTE. ONCE I WAS DONE, I CALLED OH SWEETEST MONICA AND SHE CAME TO RESCUE ME FROM THE TOWER.
IT WAS GOING TO TAKE 3 WEEKS TO GET THE RESULTS. WHAT AN EXPERIENCE!

WELL, I JUST GOT THE RESULTS A FEW DAYS AGO, AND I SLEEP NORMAL, EVEN IN A WEIRD CONTRAPTION, SO NO EASY ANSWERS.
BUT THE DOCTOR DID SAY THERE WAS ONE DISCOVERY,
WHEN I WAS AWAKE, AND THE LIGHTS WERE ON, MY BRAIN WAS HAVING MULTIPLE MILD SEIZURES, BUT THEY STOPPED AS SOON AS LIGHTS WENT OFF. BUT IN THE MORNING, AS SOON AS THE LIGHTS WENT ON, THE SEIZURES CONTINUED. NOW I ALSO THOUGHT A SEIZURE WAS SOMETHING YOU KNEW WAS HAPPENING, BUT I WAS WRONG. SO ANYWAY, THE DOCTOR SAID IT WAS BEING CAUSED BY LIGHT THAT THE SEIZURES WERE HAPPENING, AND THAT WE MUST NOT HAVE MY MEDICINE DOSAGE RIGHT. SO WE NEED TO CORRECT THAT, AND THAT I SHOULD BE WEARING SUN GLASSES, WHICH I DO OUTSIDE, BUT DIDN'T KNOW INDOORS TOO. SO HE SUGGESTS I TRY DIFFERENT TINTS AND SEE IF IT HELPS. BECAUSE I'M EXHAUSTED ALL THE TIME, FROM MY BRAIN HAVING THESE ISSUES, WHICH COULD ALSO PLAY A FACTOR IN THE ENDLESS HEADACHES.
FASCINATING INFO, BUT I KNEW IT MADE PERFECT SENSE, SINCE WHENEVER I AM IN BRIGHT LIGHT I WOULD GET INSTANTLY IRRITATED, AND/OR MEAN, AND I NATURALLY TRY TO STAY IN THE DARKER PART OF MY HOUSE.
SO THE GOOD NEWS IS: LIKE MOST OF ME, AFTER SOME TWEAKING AROUND I CAN BE MAINTAINED.

MY NEXT NEWS ISN'T AS LONG, AND MUCH MORE FUN FOR ME.
THIS WEEK AT MY BIO-FEEDBACK APPOINTMENT, MY TINIEST OF LITTLE BICEP MUSCLE WAS ACTUALLY GETTING IN THE WAY OF THE ELECTRODE. THIS WAS FABULOUS NEWS TO ME, SINCE IT IS MY FIRST DEFINABLE MUSCLE IN MY LEFT ARM! HAPPY DAY! I'M ONE STEP FARTHER IN THAT ARM, OF COARSE I WANT IT ALL! BECAUSE I'M GREEDY. BUT TODAY I WENT BACK TO THE START OF THIS BLOG, AND I CAN REALLY SEE MY PROGRESS. I GET LOST IN MY "NOW", AND FORGET THE PROGRESS OF THE PAST. I GO BACK, AND READ THE OLD STUFF, WHICH ALWAYS MAKES ME CRY, IT DOESN'T SEEM POSSIBLE, AND AT THE SAME MOMENT, FAR TO REAL TO ABSORB.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL;
HE SURE BLESSED ME,
LOVE TAMI.

SECOND TRIP TO VERNAL

2010-07-23T20:04:00.000-07:00

WELL AFTER THE WEDDING, BECKY MEINROD AND I WORKED OUT A PLAN FOR THE GIRLS AND I TO VISIT.
SO WE WORKED IT OUT FOR WHEN ALBERT WOULD BE WORKING IN PRICE, AND WHEN BECKY COULD DRIVE TO PRICE AND GET US.
I WAS QUITE EXCITED TO HAVE THE GIRLS ON VACATION WITH ME AND SPEND TIME WITH THE VERNAL FAMILY. THEY HAVE BEEN TO THE RANCH AND OF COURSE MET THE FAMILY, BUT HAVE ALWAYS BEEN TO YOUNG TO REMEMBER EVERYONE. THEY REMEMBER VIRT MOST, BECAUSE HE GAVE THEM THEIR FIRST CANDY BAR EVER.

WE SPENT TIME AT BECKY'S AND VISITED THE OTHER HOUSES. THEY WERE IN HEAVEN AT GRANDMA RITA'S BECAUSE OF HUNDREDS OF YARD SALE TOYS, AND GETTING TO MAKE A MESS OF THEM.
WE SPENT QUITE A BIT OF TIME OUTSIDE, SINCE IT'S MUCH COOLER THERE THAN IN ST. GEORGE. WE PLAYED IN SPRINKLERS AT A COUSINS, WENT SWIMMING AT SAMI'S POOL, AND WENT EXPLORING THE LIBRARY WITH BECKY. THE GIRLS PLAYED LINCOLN LOGS WITH VIRT.
ALL IN ALL IT WAS A JOY!
NOW ON THE WAY HOME, WE HAD TO SPEND ONE NIGHT IN A HOTEL UNTILL ALBERT FINISHED A JOB.
THAT WAS AN ADVENTURE IN ITSELF FOR THE GIRLS, SINCE WE DON'T EVER DO THAT. IT WAS THEIR FIRST TIME IN A HOTEL , AND MY FIRST TIME POST-STROKE TO TAKE A SHOWER IN A TUB. I ONLY DO WALK-IN SHOWERS, SO THE FLOOR IS FLAT AND I WONT SLIP. SO THAT WAS A BIG DEAL TO ME. I EVEN TEXT TERESA TO TELL HER I ACCOMPLISHED A NEW TASK. ALL THE LITTLE STUFF ADDS UP TO RECOVERY.
BY THE TIME WE GOT HOME, I WAS BEAT AFTER 10 DAYS OF 24 HOUR SINGLE PARENTING. I WAS DESPERATE FOR SOME ALONE TIME.
MY GIRLS MEAN THE WORLD TO ME AND THEY CAN DRAIN ALL OF MY ENERGY.
GOD BLESS,
LOVE TAMI

VERNAL TRIP.

2010-07-04T17:38:00.000-07:00

SO LILLI WENT TO CALIFORNIA FOR 10 DAYS WITH AUNT MONICA, SO IT WAS JUST ELLA AND MOM. ALBERT GOT WORK OFF AND I WAS ABLE TO LEAVE ELLA WITH PAPA. I CAUGHT A RIDE WITH ANDY AND CHRISSY TO VERNAL THURSDAY. I WAS GOING TO STAY AT BECKY MEINROD'S AND GET 3 DAYS OF NO RESPONSIBILITY. I SLEPT IN TWO MORNINGS, WHICH I HAVEN'T DONE SINCE TERESA MOVED OUT. WE HAD PHILLIP'S WEDDING SATURDAY. OUT OF TERESA'S 11 SIBLINGS, 10 WERE THERE. IT WAS FUN TO SEE EVERYONE, BUT TOO BUSY TO SPEND INDIVIDUAL TIME WITH ANY.
IT'S REWARDING TO ME, WHEN I SEE PEOPLE THAT AREN'T WITH ME ALL THE TIME, SINCE THEY NOTICE MY RECOVERY BETTER. I TEND TO FORGET THAT I'M STILL IMPROVING. I GET SO FRUSTRATED, AND FEEL STUCK. I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF THAT I STILL DO WELL. I JUST WANT BETTER! I LOSE TRACK OF HOW FAR I'VE COME IN THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF.

SUNDAY MORNING I CAUGHT A RIDE HOME WITH MATT AND HIS 3 KIDS. I WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE MY GIRLS, EVEN IF I DID HAVE A RELAXING TIME AWAY. IT FELT GOOD TO BE HOME!
WHILE IN VERNAL, BECKY AND I HAD DISCUSSED HAVING THE GIRLS AND I VISIT WHILE ALBERT IS WORKING OUT OF TOWN.
GOD BLESS,
LOVE TO ALL, FROM TAMI

My trip to come...

2010-06-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

ONE OF MY COUSINS IS GETTING MARRIED THIS WEEKEND IN VERNAL. I WAS NOT PLANNING TO GO SINCE I DON'T DRIVE, BUT MY SWEET FAMILY FIGURED A WAY TO GET ME THERE! I RIDE UP WITH 1 UNCLE AND HOME WITH ANOTHER ONE. SWEET AUNT PATTY WILL KEEP ELLA WHILE ALBERT WORKS.
WHAT A CREW! ALL SO I CAN GO SEE FAMILY AND HAVE A CHILD FREE WEEKEND! I ADORE MY GIRLS, MORE THAN LIFE, AND I WILL ALSO LOVE A WEEKEND TO ENJOY FREE TIME.
MY BLESSINGS NEVER FAIL TO AMAZE ME.
SO I WILL POST HOW MY TRIP GOES NEXT WEEK.
GOD BLESS, MUCH LOVE FROM TAMI.

FATHER'S DAY WEEKEND.

2010-06-20T18:23:00.000-07:00

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU DADS OUT THERE!
ALBERT WANTED TO GO CAMPING IN PINE VALLEY, SO WE DROVE OUT THERE FRIDAY NIGHT. IT WAS JUST DAD, ELLA, AND I. LILLI IS IN CALIFORNIA WITH HER AUNTIE MONICA.
FIRST NIGHT IN THE NEWEST CAMPER. IT'S A POP-UP WITH 2 QUEEN BEDS, ONE SIDE FOR MOM & DAD, ONE FOR THE KIDS.
BRRRRR SO COLD !!! THE FIRST NIGHT WAS SO COLD AND UNCOMFORTABLE, THAT BY SATURDAY AFTERNOON I WAS FANTASIZING ABOUT GOING HOME AFTER DINNER, AND NOT REALLY STAYING ANOTHER NIGHT. NO LUCK! I OFFERED TO PAY ALBERT TO TAKE ME HOME! BUT SATURDAY NIGHT HE ADDED A SECOND PAD ONTO MY BED AND I DOUBLE LAYERED MY PAJAMAS AND MADE IT THROUGH ONE MORE NIGHT. WE PACKED UP EARLY MORNING AND WERE HOME AND SHOWERED BY NOON SUNDAY. NOTHING BETTER THAN A HOT SHOWER AFTER 2 DIRTY DAYS! I AM STILL TIRED, BUT GLAD I CAN SAY I WENT. I WON'T BE GOING NEXT TIME. IT'S SO MUCH WORK TO BRING COMFORTS TO THE OUTDOORS WHEN I COULD JUST STAY HOME AND LET ALBERT GO.
EVER TRY HIKING WITH A CANE? TRUE, MOST MIGHT USE A STICK FOR EXTRA BALANCE, BUT WHEN YOU LACK BALANCE NORMALLY, A CANE JUST DOESN'T HELP MUCH.
THANKS, BUT " NO THANKS" FOR ANOTHER TRIP.
WHEN WE WERE HOME, I GOT TO HAVE DEVRON AND NEW BABY HUTCH VISIT. DEVRON HAD TO CHANGE HIS DIAPER AND ELLA WAS RIGHT THERE. I WAS CURIOUS TO SEE HER REACTION, BEING THAT WE HAVE ONLY HAD GIRL DIAPERS IN OUR HOUSE. " MOM HE HAS A CRAYON IN HIS DIAPER!" OH HOW FUNNY!!! DEVRON AND I JUST LAUGHED! I WILL HAVE TO WRITE THAT ONE DOWN.
LILLI IS HAVING A BLAST IN CALIFORNIA WITH HER COUSINS. HER AUNT JUST HAD TWINS, A BOY AND GIRL, AND LILLI TOLD ME THIS MORNING, THAT SHE HELD THE "PINK" BABY. WE MISS LILLI, BUT KNOW SHE IS HAPPY, AND IN GOOD HANDS. BUT IT IS A 10 DAY TRIP! THAT'S A LONG TIME TO HAVE HER GONE.
GOD BLESS TO ALL;
TAKE CARE, LOVE TAMI AND FAMILY.

Note from Grandma Ann

2010-06-17T07:43:00.000-07:00

YEAY!!! Tami, I'm thrilled you are back on the blog! You are a delightful writer and these postings will mean so much to you and your family as well as all of us who get a peak into your wonderful sense of humor and your determination. LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! I'm glad your doctor is thorough and aggressive in your care. Since you still have the headache I am comforted to know she will follow-up. Love you and your family!!!!

OH FUN.....?

2010-06-15T15:45:00.000-07:00

SO, MONDAY MORNING WE SENT ALBERT OFF TO WORK FOR THE WEEK. I WOKE WITH A HEADACHE, WHICH IS A DAILY OCCURRENCE. BUT THEN I STARTED TO NOTICE IT WAS HURTING IN ODD WAVES OF PAIN, AND ONLY ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF MY HEAD. IT WAS A WEIRD SORT OF FEELING, LIKE LIGHTNING BOLTS EVERY 30 SECONDS OR SO. SO I DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO, ASK MY MOM WHAT SHE THINKS. SHE SUGGESTS TO CALL MY NEUROLOGIST. I AGREED, SO I CALLED AND LEFT A MESSAGE. THEN I NOTICED THAT I KEPT FEELING LIKE I WAS SPINNING. MY DOCTOR CALLED BACK AND SAID SHE WANTED A CAT-SCAN RIGHT AWAY, AND TO GO TO THE E.R.. I HATED THIS ANSWER! I KNEW IT WASN'T AN EMERGENCY, AND SINCE I HAD BOTH GIRLS WITH ME, THE LAST THING I WANTED, WAS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL! SO I CALLED MY AUNT PATTY AND EXPLAINED. SHE CAME RIGHT OVER AND GOT US.
SO I GET TO THE E.R. AND EXPLAIN THAT MY DOCTOR SENT ME. HER CONCERN OF COURSE IS MY PAST STROKE, BUT SINCE I'M ALSO ON BLOOD THINNERS, SHE WAS WORRIED ABOUT A HEMORRHAGE. I ON THE OTHER HAND, REMEMBER ALL TOO WELL THE SHEER AMOUNT OF PAIN FROM MY STROKE, AND I KNOW THAT I AM JUST FINE!
I KEPT THINKING " AT LEAST A CAT-SCAN DOESN'T HURT, THEY JUST PUT YOUR HEAD IN A HOLE, ( IT REMINDS ME OF A COTTON-CANDY MACHINE), THEN YOU'RE DONE."
BUT AT THE E.R., THEY AUTOMATICALLY DO THE WHOLE EMERGENCY BIT, PUT IN AN I.V. AND DRAIN YOU OF SOME BLOOD. THE STAFF IS SURE I MUST BE THERE FOR ANOTHER STROKE, DUE TO MY MEDICAL HISTORY. THEY EVEN ASKED IF MY ARM WOULDN'T MOVE BECAUSE OF THIS HEADACHE. I HAD TO LAUGH, AND SAY " NO THAT'S FROM BEFORE, AND YOU ARE PROBABLY WASTING YOUR TIME, I'M FINE. MY DOCS JUST BEING CAUTIOUS."
SO THEY DO THE SCAN, AND THE TECH CAME OVER TO ME WITH AN ODD LOOK ON HIS FACE, SO I SAID," DID YOU GET THE PICTURE OF MY BRAIN?" HE SAID " YES", AND I ASKED "HOW DOES IT LOOK WITH THAT MISSING PIECE?" HE LET OUT A BREATH AND SAID," WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" SO I TOLD HIM THAT THEY HAD REMOVED SOME FROM MY STROKE. HE SAID " OH, THERE WAS A BIG BLACK SPOT. I SHOULD PROBABLY TELL THE DOC. SO HE DOESN'T WONDER WHAT IT IS. " OH THAT MADE ME LAUGH! I WISH I COULD SEE THE DOCTORS FACES, IF THEY WERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY BRAIN....?
I COULDN'T HELP BUT EXPLAIN IT LIKE LILLI DOES." MOMS BRAIN BROKE, AND THEY SEWED IT BACK TOGETHER." AFTER AWHILE THE DOCTOR CAME IN TO ASK ABOUT MY MEDS. AND HEALTH IN GENERAL. THEN HE WENT TO GET THE RESULTS. HE CAME BACK AND SAID EVERY THING LOOKS FINE, THEN CORRECTED HIMSELF TO SAY EVERY THING LOOKED THE SAME AS BEFORE, SINCE WE BOTH KNEW NOTHING ABOUT MY BRAIN IS FINE ANY MORE. THEY UNHOOKED ME AND LET ME GO HOME.
SO GOOD NEWS... I AM FINE AND I KNOW MY DOCTOR IS LOOKING OUT FOR ME.
GOD BLESS ALL.

MY GREATEST ADVENTURE OF 2010

2010-06-11T17:30:00.000-07:00

IN MY HASTE TO UPDATE TO MUCH INFO AT ONE TIME, I LEFT OUT
MY GREATEST ADVENTURE OF 2010

IN APRIL I GOT TO GO TO SALT LAKE AND BACK TO THE HOSPITAL.
THIS WAS HUGE FOR ME, TO BE ABLE TO WALK INTO THE I.C.U. AND THANK THE NURSES, AND TO MY SURPRISE THEY REMEMBERED ME, AND WERE SO HAPPY! I WAS ALSO ABLE TO GO TO THE REHAB FLOOR AND SEE 2 OUT OF 4 THERAPIST . THEY EVEN RECOGNISED ME, WHICH I NEVER EXPECTED, SINCE I DON'T LOOK A BIT LIKE I DID WHILE IN REHAB LOCK-DOWN.
OF COURSE I HAVE HAIR NOW, AND ADDED MY 20 POUNDS BACK ON THAT I HAD LOST DURING MY STAY. ONE OF MY P.T'S JUST SAID I LOOKED HEALTHY. I COULD TELL SHE DIDN'T WANT TO COME RIGHT OUT WITH " OHH! YOU GAINED WEIGHT", BUT I KNOW THAT'S WHAT SHE MEANT, AND I WORKED VERY HARD WITH LOTS OF ICE-CREAM, TO GET MY FIGURE BACK. SO I LIKE THAT I GAINED WEIGHT. I'M NOT LIKE OTHER WOMEN. I WAS DESPERATE TO PUT SOME MEAT ON !
I WAS IN SALT LAKE TO GO TO A CONCERT " DAUGHTRY " WHICH WAS WONDERFUL, BUT GOING TO THE HOSPITAL WAS BY FAR THE BEST PART OF MY 4 DAYS IN SALT LAKE!
I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS LEARNING HOW TO WALK AGAIN, AND A GIRL CAME IN TO SAY HI, AND MY THERAPIST SAID SHE HAD HAD THE SAME HEAD SURGERY, AND ALL I COULD THINK WAS," I CAN'T WAIT TO BE THAT NORMAL LOOKING GIRL THAT COULD COME AND GO AT FREE WILL" AND YOU COULDN'T SEE HER SCAR THROUGH HER HAIR. OH IT BRINGS PURE JOY TO MY HEART TO BE THAT GIRL NOW!

2010-06-11T16:38:00.000-07:00

HI THERE, IT'S TAMI. HAPPY DAY!!! ALBERT JUST GOT HOME TODAY FROM ANOTHER WEEK AT WORK. I AM VERY TIRED, PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY, BEING THE MAIN CAREGIVER FOR THE GIRLS IS EXHAUSTING TO ME! I HAVE LOTS OF GRATITUDE FOR IT AS WELL AS NOT LIKING IT. THE JOYS ARE THERE FOR SURE.
I HAVE A HUGE RESPECT FOR ALL THOSE TRULY SINGLE PARENTS!
AS I WAS DOING MY HAIR THIS MORNING, I WAS THANKING MY LUCKY STARS. IT IS STILL ALL TOO FRESH IN MY MEMORY OF NOT BEING ABLE TO BATHE AND DRESS MYSELF.
SO I MUST TRY TO FIND THE TASK OF TAKING CARE OF MYSELF AND THE 2 GIRLS AS A FANTASTIC EXPERIENCE .
MY DAYS ARE A NEVER ENDING GAME OF CATCH-UP AND CLEAN-UP.

ALBERT'S FAMILY CONTINUES TO BE AMAZING TO ME, ALWAYS TRYING TO HELP WITH THE GIRLS, OR ANYTHING I MAY NEED.
I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE ALBERT ALWAYS OUT OF TOWN, IF I DIDN'T KNOW THE CASADOS FAMILY WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR BACK-UP.
WE WENT OUT TO DINNER, AND SAW AN ELDERLY WOMAN MISSING THE USE OF HER LEFT SIDE AS WELL. FUNNY HOW IT SEEMS THAT WE NEVER SAW THAT BEFORE... IT'S SO OBVIOUS TO US NOW, TO NOTICE, WHEREAS 3 YEARS AGO IT NEVER WOULD HAVE CROSSED OUR MIND THAT SOMEONE HAD A STROKE.
YESTERDAY I CALLED A DRIVING SCHOOL TO FIND OUT HOW TO GET MY LICENSE BACK. THE GUY DIDN'T BELIEVE MY AGE WHEN I TOLD HIM. IT STILL MAKES ME LAUGH AT THE SURPRISE OF MY JOURNEY TO OTHERS. OF COURSE, I WISHED IT NEVER HAPPENED AT ANY TIME IN MY LIFESPAN, BUT I AM INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL TO HAVE THE NEXT 30 YEARS OR MORE TO RECOVER. HAD I BEEN OLD ENOUGH FOR IT TO MAKE SENSE, I MAY NOT BE HERE... I DO HATE HOW OFTEN THOUGHTS OF MY STROKE CROSS MY MIND! I WISH I COULD PUT A POP-UP-BLOCKER IN MY BRAIN FOR ANYTHING STROKE RELATED. IT TRULY IRRITATES ME TO THINK OF IT SO OFTEN! MY STROKE IS LIKE AN EVIL ENEMY TO ME, THAT I WILL GET REVENGE WITH WHEN I AM FULLY RECOVERED, AND WILL SAY" NAH NAH NAH NEENER NEENER YOU DIDN'T WIN". I HAVE MASTERED SO MUCH ALREADY! I SERIOUSLY NEED TO LEARN TO DRIVE AGAIN, AND I AM STILL WORKING ON MY LAZY LEFT ARM. IT'S NOT GOING TO BEAT ME! I GET REALLY FRUSTRATED AT THE AMOUNT OF ENERGY IT TAKES TO KEEP DOING BIO-FEEDBACK THERAPY EVERY WEEK, BUT I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE, AND TONS TO GAIN.
: CUTE THING, THE GIRLS WERE WITH ME ONE WEEK AND LILLI FOUND SOME RANDOM BEANS ON THE FLOOR AND ASKED IF THEY WERE MAGIC BEANS TO FIX MOMS SAD HAND AND MAKE IT HAPPY.
SHE BLOWS ME AWAY! WHY HADN'T WE THOUGHT OF MAGIC BEANS?
MY GIRLS ARE SO COMPLETELY MY ANGELS ON EARTH! THEY MAKE MY EVERYDAY WORTHWHILE. EVEN IF I'M GOING NUTS, AND WANT TO CRY, OR FEEL LIKE ASKING "WHY". I KNOW "WHY". THERE ARE SO MANY LESSONS LEARNED ALREADY.
I SEE EVERYDAY THE BENEFITS IN MY DAUGHTERS. THEY HAVE BECOME SO NURTURING AND COMPASSIONATE, TO ME, AND ANYONE AROUND THEM.
THEY ARE GOING TO BE INCREDIBLE WOMEN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE.
GOB BLESS AND MY LOVE TO ALL.

tami here...using Grandma's sign in......

2010-06-05T16:31:00.000-07:00

HI ALL, IT'S TAMI.So my computer contracted about 700 viruses and now refuses to let me blog. I'm borrowing my grandma's computer and wondering how best to sum up the last 6 months. I have had some big accomplishments and some small ones.
So lets start with FEBRUARY...
Albert had to go work in San Diego for that whole month, which of course left me alone with my girls. A first since my brain broke. I knew we would be fine, but that it would also be VERY hard for me. You know I just love challenges, or better YET, they love me!
I had lots of family looking out for us, making sure I had rides when needed. I wanted to make it as fun for the girls as I could. Our FIRST BIG adventure was deciding to walk to Wendy's for dinner one night. It's just 2 blocks away. I debated with myself for at least 30 minutes whether it was something I was ready for or not. I prepared the girls to go and Lilli said, "mom are you sure this is a good idea?" She has seen mom walk and had reason to doubt. I explained the rules, that they were to hold hands and do EXACTLY as mom says. I had them walk as far away from the road as possible When we made it, we were so tired and happy! Lilli had explained that she was worried mom would fall, so I let her know it's mom's job to protect her, not the other way. Even my tiny Ella opened the big door for mom. They were ecstatic to be there and get frosty's. It was a huge deal for all 3 of us to have accomplished that journey by ourselves! I continuously struggle with the balance of keeping myself safe while keeping the girls safe as well. It makes me sad if they miss out on anything because of moms " ouchy".
February was also filled with much stress and exhaustion for me. It was hard physically and mentally to be a single parent for a month. Much respect to those that do it full time.

MARCH by far easier with Albert home, but he still hadn't found a job in town, which meant he would have to return to California, an idea I hated.

MAY THE GIRLS GRADUATED PRE-SCHOOL TOGETHER. That was soo cute to see! I was sad, since they had so much fun learning and playing, and it was my only quiet time, and when I would plan doctor appointment's.
Albert found a part-time crap job until May, when he planned on returning to his home town, but as life has it, that didn't work either. So he scrambled and found 1 job that would take him to work in Price Utah, which brings me back to current time.

JUNE so far Albert has worked out of town 2 weeks, but we are used to it now, and it's not that bad. We get bored, and watch a lot of Barbie. I had a friend introduce me to face book, which has been fun to do when I'm sick of barbie.

WITH LUCK, I WILL BE ABLE TO UPDATE REGULARLY NOW, and won't try to cram it all in at once .
I have been sad by not being able to update this. As time went on this has been a great way to track my continued progress and remind me of what to be grateful for/of .
I hope some of this made sense it's a lot jumbled together and I know I left a lot out.
GOD BLESS ALL

note from Grandma Ann

2010-05-29T09:23:00.001-07:00

Tami has had trouble with her blog from her computer. . .I am very sorry about that, because this was an amazing anthology for her family.

She is doing well and she Facebooks, so maybe that will keep her in touch. . .

I just wanted to put something here to see if the problem was the 'blog' or just her computer. . .

Love to all. . .

Tami here.

2010-01-15T21:14:00.000-08:00

I haven't made an entry for awhile even though I have had reason to. For some reason I had trouble getting logged on. Our routine is the same. My big joy has been my huge improvement in bio-feedback. I got my brain to connect with my triceps muscle last week, and was overjoyed with it!
Then this week I surpassed my previous goal by over 200 percent! I'm feeling quite proud the last few weeks, mostly since the New Year. I can feel a huge smile inside at the thought of how much improvement I will make in the coming year! I truly am so excited for more opportunity to grow! I plan on getting used to this slow body just in time to get rid of it, and have all my strength back, and be in control again! The last 2 years have been terribly hard, but it's just up from here. I will only get better! One day I really hope to get back to SLC to thank the hospital for all they did, but I will wait till the snow is over.
My girls continue to be my everything! They got a pink 4-wheeler for Christmas, and it has been so cute watching them practice. Lilli is very cautious, Ella is all about the speed. It has a remote kill switch. I use it when Ella is cruising to fast.
I never finished my entry from when Teresa was here making my life so organized and wonderful. The housework gets so overwhelming to me. In about 4 days she did what would take me months, and we still had time to go to the movies a few times. I love going to the movies, because it is one activity that I do just as good as I used to. Most things I can't help but think how it was before the stroke, but the movies are the same.
GOD BLESS
love Tami and girls

Special Note from Tami's Physical Therapist 1-13-10

2010-01-13T16:25:00.000-08:00

My name is Steven Bennett and I am Tami's physical therapist. I just wanted to write and let all of her fan club know how utterly incredible she is from the medical perspective (like you didn't already realize that). Tami, with the severity of her injury, should not really even be alive. Most people with her type of injury either die or end up as a permanant resident in a facility. The people that actually live, however, have only a short life span.

Tami has amazing determination and never gives up. Her progress has been slow but steady. Most people wouldn't have the guts or determination to stick to it with such slow progress on the arm. She has gone from no movement on her arm to being able to easily lift it...which has already defied the odds. She is not supposed to be moving her arm at all.

I think her family and friends are also a big part of why she has come so far. I feel Tami has been left on the earth because she still has things to do and people to help and infuence for good...especially her two little princesses and husband.

It has been a pleasure to work with Tami and be inspired by her dogged will power to improve. What an amazing person!

Tami here .first for 2010

2010-01-03T10:50:00.000-08:00

WELCOME TO THE NEW YEAR ! My fabulous mom has been here since the day after Christmas. She has given me the best New Years gift. She has spent her week with us sorting through my house, cleaning out old stuff, and organizing everything. She is amazing! What a yucky task, and she volunteers to do it, and stays happy about it. My girls are loved and spoiled by so many! They had more clothes and toys than we could fit into their room. Each time I would want to sort through it all, it was so overwhelming, I never knew where to start. Of course they got even more for Christmas. She sorted and cleaned all of their room and my own. We went through my closet to get rid of all the stuff I don't fit in, or just don't wear, which was a ton. My body is so different from what it was before, and it takes a lot of effort to get myself in certain clothes. There is a science to getting dressed with one hand. It is really quite complex, so I choose certain clothes to wear based on that. I am much smaller than I was before, so of course after I got rid of so much, I went out and bought myself 3 new shirts, so I can feel a little cute if I want to. I told Teresa that I am So glad I don't HAVE to NEED her but I sure do appreciate her help for so many things .

Our Adorable Family!

2010-01-02T11:03:00.000-08:00

My angels and I our first proffesional photo together.

OUR CHRISTMAS WEEK

2009-12-27T14:19:00.000-08:00

TODAY IS SUNDAY, AND WE HAD A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS WITH OUR LITTLE FAMILY, AND EXTENDED FAMILY. THANKS TO ALBERTS CHILDLIKE HEART, OUR GIRLS HAD A VERY BIG DAY. SANTA BROUGHT THEM A PINK FOUR WHEELER TO SHARE. ALBERT IS MORE EXCITED ABOUT IT THAN THE GIRLS, BECAUSE NOW THEY GET TO GO RIDING WITH HIM. THEY ALSO GOT HELMETS, OF COURSE, FOR ANYONE THAT IS AS CONCERNED AS I AM. I AM LIKE MOST MOMS, AND VERY PROTECTIVE OF MY BABIES. I SWORE THAT THE FIRST TIME THEY GET HURT, IS THE LAST TIME THEY RIDE IT.
WEDNESDAY I WAS NOT FEELING WELL. I HAD MAJOR PAIN IN MY STOMACH. NOW I KNOW PAIN, AND CAN HANDLE IT MOST OF THE TIME. ALBERT CAME HOME FROM WORK, AND I HAD TOLD HIM HOW I FELT, WELL HE IS QUITE JUMPY ABOUT MY HEALTH NOW DAYS, SO I THINK HE OVER REACTED.HE THREATENED TO CALL MY AUNT PATTY TO COME TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL, OR I HAD TO LET HIM TAKE ME. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF ARGUING, WITH ME TELLING HIM I WAS FINE, AND HIM TELLING ME I WASN'T. HE CALLED HIS COUSIN RYAN OVER TO WATCH THE GIRLS AND HE TOOK ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. HIS REASONING WAS, THAT WHEN I WAS HAVING THE STROKE I KEPT SAYING I COULDN'T MOVE MY LEFT SIDE BECAUSE I MUST HAVE A PINCHED NERVE, AND WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT WENT. SO I SURRENDERED AND LET HIM TAKE ME. I REALLY WAS IN A LOT OF PAIN AND COULD TELL SOMETHING WAS WRONG, BUT THE NEED FOR DOCTORS IS ALWAYS MY LAST RESORT. HE MADE ME GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM AND EXPLAIN WHAT I FELT. THE DOCTORS CAME IN TO DO WHAT THEY DO, AND POKE ME WHERE IT REALLY HURT, MY LOWER RIGHT ABDOMEN. THEY HOOKED UP THE USUAL TUBES AND JUNK. THE DOCTOR THOUGHT THE SYMPTOMS WERE WITH MY APPENDIX. HE STARTED TO MENTION A SURGEON, AND SO I TRIED TO TUNE HIM OUT.( 2 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS, I DON'T THINK SO FOLKS!) SO THEY HAD ME DRINK THE EVER PLEASANT BARIUM. FOR ANYONE THAT'S HAD THAT,YOU KNOW THAT IS PURE TORTURE! AFTER AN HOUR OF THAT SOAKING IN MY STOMACH, WE WENT FOR A CAT SCAN AND THEN WAITED AN HOUR FOR THE RESULTS. THE DOC CAME BACK TO TELL ME IT WAS NOT MY APPENDIX. IT WAS JUST A GOLF BALL SIZED CYST ON MY OVARY, AND A BLADDER INFECTION. I WAS SO RELIEVED! NOW THAT, I CAN LIVE WITH! THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE ANYTHING OUT, AND I COULD GO HOME! WE HAD BEEN THERE 7 HOURS! WHAT A PAIN! I WAS SO HUNGRY AND TIRED. SO YES, SOMETHING WAS WRONG, BUT NO BIG DEAL. THEY ARE JUST GOING TO KEEP AN EYE ON ME AND MAKE SURE IT DISSOLVES ON IT'S OWN. THE GIRLS SPENT THE NIGHT AT AUNT MONICA'S. WE DIDN'T WANT TO WORRY THEM, SO WE HAD TOLD THEM THAT DAD WAS TAKING MOM TO THE STORE.
THURSDAY I WAS VERY SORE AND TIRED, BUT HAPPY TO BE HOME. I CHOSE NOT TO GO TO CHURCH THAT NIGHT, WHICH MADE ME SAD, BUT I KNEW MY BODY NEEDED REST.

FRIDAY WAS GREAT, LILLI CAME IN MY ROOM AND VERY SERIOUSLY SAID,"SANTA DIDN'T COME", SO I ASKED HER HOW SHE KNEW THIS AND SHE REPLIED, "I DIDN'T HEAR HIM." SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS GOING TO CRY. I SAID,"GO CHECK YOUR STOCKING," THEN I HEARD HER YELL "OKAY MAYBE HE DID." THEN ELLA CAME OUT AND RAN TO SEE, SHE SQUEALED " WOW! I MUST BE HAPPY!" THEY EACH GOT BARBIES AND THE USUAL SOCKS AND UNDIES, OF COURSE THESE WERE BARELY NOTICED, NEXT TO THE FUN STUFF AND CANDY. THEY WERE SO CUTE, AND HAPPY. AFTER THE EXCITEMENT DIED DOWN, I WENT TO TAKE A NAP. WE WERE GOING TO AUNT MONICA'S FOR MORE FUN, AND I WANTED TO REST FIRST. WE SPENT THE DAY AT MONICAS. THEY TOOK THEIR MOTORCYCLE TO SHOW. THEY ATE ALL THE COOKIES THEY COULD SMUGGLE BEFORE GETTING NOTICED.
IT WAS A WONDERFUL DAY, BUT I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO SATURDAY FOR MY FAVORITE VISITOR TO COME, THE FABULOUS GRANDMA TERESA, A.K.A MY MOM. SHE DROVE DOWN THAT NIGHT, AND DURING THE DAY ALBERT TOOK THE GIRLS FOR A DAY OF RIDING 4 WHEELERS. HE VIDEO TAPED IT, SO I CAN SEE ALL THE ACTION. HE SAID THAT LILLI DID GREAT DRIVING IT, AND IF I GET BRAVE ENOUGH IT'S EVEN BIG ENOUGH FOR ME TO DRIVE. WHO KNOWS, I MIGHT GO TO THE STORE WITH IT SOMEDAY. IT HAS A BIG FLAG ON IT WITH PINK SKELETONS. IT IS COOLER THAN A JAZZY CHAIR FOR SURE!
THEN THEY WENT TO GRANDMA TONI'S AND SPENT THE NIGHT, SO NOW I MISS THEM, AND THEY ARE ON THE WAY HOME, SO I BETTER FINISH THIS UP.
THAT WAS OUR VERY EVENTFUL WEEK.
I WILL BE SENDING NEW YEAR'S CARDS OUT TO MOST,BUT IF YOU KNOW MY MOM'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY, YOU KNOW THAT IT IS HUGE! I DIDN'T BUDGET IN STAMPS FOR ALL OF YOU,
BUT YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE KEDDYS, I LOVE YOU, AND SORRY YOU ARE GETTING NEGLECTED ON THE CARD LIST.
MY WISH IS THAT EVERYONE HAVE A HEALTHY, HAPPY, HOLIDAY,
GOD BLESS, AND LOVE, TAMI & FAMILY

Christmas note from Grandma Ann with love!

2009-12-20T14:31:00.000-08:00

Rather than just comment. . .I wanted to post something you all could read. I want to extend my Merry Christmas wishes to all who have assisted with the miracle that is this beautiful little family!

As we all know this has been a difficult year . . .I don't think the little princesses have missed hardly a beat. . .their Mommy and Daddy cherish them and everyone else that comes in contact with them can't help but exclaim how precious they are.

Tami and Albert have been steadfast and committed. They are to be congratulated! There is no greater accomplishment than building a loving family. They are doing the work!

Tami, you keep blogging here. . .it makes my heart sing to think what delight you will all get out of these posts as your life continues to improve. You write with love, wit and determination. It will serve you well and mean so much to Lilli and Ella.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

Tami back for December

2009-12-18T09:15:00.000-08:00

Hi! I am going to be brave and try to do an entry while the girls are home, and hope they don't destroy too much. We have decorated for Christmas, and I finally got our family pictures back to put in cards. Sadly now, they won't make it out in time, so I am sending a New Years wish instead. So watch the mail for late arrival's from us.

My girls were told at school, that if they sang "Jingle Bells" really loud, Santa would come. So they keep asking me to shout the song with them. They are so funny! Santa came to their school. That was a highlight for them. Lilli said he was even the real one, not the fake one from Wall-mart. We also took them to see one last Saturday, and they did crafts and had a train ride. It was freezing for us that day, so we left to go home, but they rode the train twice and had fun. I almost went on a ride too, but chickened out at the last minute. The holiday is so much fun with them at this age!

The other day I was remembering how I could just stare at them for hours, and never tire of it, when they were babies. And now I wonder when that changed into counting down to bed time. Of course I still have times when I am in awe of how wonderful they are. Time sure flies! They are so busy all the time! I miss being able to just sit and hold them. The moments are so different now, still great, just very different. Thank goodness for pictures, or we might forget all together how small they once were! I try to explain to them that they are always my babies, even if they get big. My Lilli seems to grow out of her clothes weekly. She continues to be my biggest helper. My sweet Albert is buying me a video camera for Christmas, that I can use with one hand. I am so excited to be able to capture all the cute moments for the future. They keep us laughing all day with performances of dance and song. They have quite the moves.

I had my bio-feedback yesterday, and we worked on my shoulder muscles. Since I have done so well, we challenged it with leaving my new hand brace on, which weighs about 5 pounds. I still did wonderful and surprised us both! We even moved my level up twice! I was so happy I text my parents right away to tell them, and today I am surely feeling it. I am sore, but that is good, since I know it got a workout. I am still working on my left leg and knee. It is also very sore.

I am going Christmas shopping tomorrow, and I will swallow my pride and use a motor cart to prevent any more aches. My therapist and I decided my arm brace makes it obvious enough to others that something is wrong with me, which is good, because I look relatively normal, and so people don't notice to be a little more cautious of me. I still get nervous if I am in crowds, or outdoors with lots of things going on.

I am seeing the light of my trial. Though I feel very accomplished some days, and yet very irritated some other days. I continue to go back to read the old blogs, the ones I slept through. I am filled with gratitude and humbled at the kindness of so many! I feel like I wish I could call each and every one to say thanks for the care and prayers. I tried to send cards to everyone, but that seems so impersonal.
I WISH LOVE AND HAPPINESS TO YOU ALL, ALWAYS, BUT A LITTLE EXTRA FOR THE SEASON.
GOD BLESS,
LOVE, TAMI, ALBERT, LILLI, AND GABRIELLA

Hi! From Tami

2009-12-08T11:35:00.000-08:00

TERESA POINTED OUT TO ME THIS MORNING, THAT I HADN'T MADE ANY UPDATES FOR DECEMBER YET. SO I WILL CRAM IT ALL INTO ONE. NOW THE GIRLS JUST LEFT FOR SCHOOL. IT'S GOOD FOR ALL 3 OF US. THIS WEEKEND WE ACTUALLY WENT TO SEARS AND HAD FAMILY PICTURES DONE. THE GIRLS WERE BEAUTIFUL, AND LOVED BEING TREATED LIKE ROYALTY. THE PICTURES TURNED OUT VERY CUTE! WE HAVE NOT EVER HAD THEM DONE BEFORE PROFESSIONALLY, AND HAD TO GAG AT THE COST OF IT. NEXT TIME WE MIGHT JUST HAND SOMEONE OUR CAMERA AND DO THEM THAT WAY.

YESTERDAY WAS ALBERT'S BIRTHDAY, BUT HE SWORE HE DIDN'T WANT US TO DO ANY KIND OF PARTY. SO IT WAS QUITE UNEVENTFUL FOR HIM. WE MIGHT HAVE A DINNER THIS WEEKEND FOR HIM.

I GOT TO GET MY HAIR DONE YESTERDAY, WHICH I LOVE, BECAUSE SHE MAKES IT STRAIGHT FOR ME. I REALLY DON'T LIKE MY CURLS, AND ALWAYS USED TO MAKE IT STRAIGHT ANYWAY. IT IS EVEN LONG ENOUGH NOW THAT IT IS TO MY CHIN. SOON I WILL BE ABLE TO FIX IT HOWEVER I WANT. LAST THURSDAY WAS MY BIO-FEEDBACK THERAPY AND WE WORKED ON MY WRIST MOVEMENT. I HAD A HIGH ENOUGH SCORE THAT HE SAID IT WAS AT A USEABLE RANGE. SO I NEED TO GET MY FINGERS GOING, AND I WOULD HAVE SO MUCH MORE PATIENCE WITH IT. THE SMALLER THE MUSCLE THE HARDER IT IS, SO I STILL HAVE A LOT OF WORK.

I HAD ALSO HAD EXTENSIVE TESTS DONE ON MY EYES TO MAKE SURE MY MEDICATION HAD NOT HURT ANYTHING. THE EYE DOCTOR THOUGHT THEY WERE FINE. I GO BACK NEXT WEEK FOR FINAL RESULTS, WHICH IS VERY GOOD. I DIDN'T WANT TO CHANGE ANY MEDICATIONS.

TWO NIGHTS AGO, MY CUTE LITTLE ELLA SNUCK INTO MY BED. SHE HASN'T HAD ANY POTTY ACCIDENTS SINCE AUGUST, BUT WOKE ME UP TO SAY HER UNDIES WERE WET. SHE HAD PEED IN MY BED. THE JOYS OF BEING A PARENT! NO BIG THING,I JUST WISHED IT WASN'T IN MY BED. THE GIRLS LIKE TO PLAY "MOM AND DAD", LIL LIKES TO BE MOM AND ELLA'S THE BABY, SO ALL DAY ELLA WALKS AROUND SAYING "MOM", "MOM", AND I WILL ANSWER, AND SHE SAYS "NOT YOU MOM, THE OTHER MOM." ALL DAY LONG... AND FOR ANYONE THAT HAS MET MY GIRLS,YOU KNOW THEY NEVER STOP TALKING. I'M THINKING ABOUT GETTING ME SOME OF THOSE HELICOPTER EARPHONES THAT BLOCK OUT SOUND. NOT JUST FOR THEIR MOM GAME, BUT FOR ALL DAY.IT SEEMS LIKE ALBERT AND I ARE ALWAYS ASKING THEM TO BE QUIET FOR JUST A MINUTE, OR TALK ONE AT A TIME. THERE ARE ONLY TWO OF THEM, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE A WHOLE ROOM OF KIDS!

MY LILLI HAS DECIDED SHE WANTS STRAIGHT HAIR TOO. SHE WATCHES TV AND SEES THAT FEW HAVE CURLS LIKE HER. SHE ASKED ME WHY I GOT MY HAIR DONE, AND I SAID I WANTED TO LOOK CUTE, AND SHE RESPONDED RIGHT AWAY WITH "MOM YOU WERE ALREADY CUTE!" SHE IS SO SWEET! I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH! I CONSTANTLY FEEL SO LUCKY TO HAVE TWO GIRLS, UNTIL IT'S TIME TO GET DRESSED. THEY ARE BOTH VERY FASHION CONSCIENCE. I THOUGHT THAT DIDN'T START 'TILL HIGH SCHOOL. BOY! WAS I WRONG! AT LEAST 3 OUTFITS BEFORE THE FINAL CHOICE. IT'S NOT REALLY WINTER HERE, BUT IT IS FOR US, SO THEIR TANK TOPS AND FLIP FLOPS JUST DON'T WORK RIGHT NOW, AND THAT IS VERY UPSETTING TO MY GIRLS!

MY LILLI IS JUST COUNTING DOWN UTILL SHE IS 40. THAT IS OUR HOUSE RULE FOR WHEN THEY CAN GET MARRIED. SHE SAYS SHE FOUND THE BOY SHE WILL MARRY, AND THAT IS ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT. THEY HAVE SEEN TOO MANY PRINCESS MOVIES WITH WEDDINGS! LILLI IS GOING TO MARRY THIS BOY NAMED NOAH, AND ELLA WANTS TO MARRY HER DAD. IT IS THE TOPIC FOR MOST OF OUR DISCUSSIONS. EVEN AT THE MALL FOR PICTURES, LILLI WAS CHECKING OUT THE BRIDAL RINGS, AND TELLING ME WHICH ONE HER NOAH WILL GET HER. WHAT WILL I DO WITH THESE GIRLS WHEN THEY GET REAL BOYFRIENDS?

the famous santa threat.

2009-11-30T10:26:00.000-08:00

HI! I JUST HAD SOMETHING CUTE HAPPEN, SO BEFORE I FORGET, WE HAVE BEEN USING THE FAMOUS THREAT OF "IF YOU ARE NOT NICE SANTA WONT BRING YOU TOYS", AND LILLI SAID "WHAT ABOUT DAD, HAS HE BEEN NICE?" OR YOU MOM, "WERE YOU NICE?" IT MADE ME LAUGH AND THINK, HAVE WE BEEN? I AM SURE MY MOM WOULD SAY YES, I HAVE BEEN. BUT JUST IN CASE, I WILL BUY MY OWN GIFT. WE WENT TO WALL-MART SATURDAY, AND I LET LILLI PICK A GIFT FOR TOYS FOR TOTS, SINCE THEY WERE COLLECTING THAT DAY. WE BOUGHT IT, AND SHE GAVE IT TO THE SANTA THERE TO GIVE TO KIDS. THEN LILLI SAID "MOM HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE SANTA, HE HAD A WIG FOR A BEARD." SHE DOESN'T MISS A THING. I PERSONALLY AM NOT A FAN OF HOW CHRISTMAS IS PERCEIVED. IT SEEMS TO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH JESUS, BUT I CAN'T HELP USING THE BRIBE OF SANTA. IN A PERFECT WORLD MY GIRLS WOULD JUST BE AS SWEET AS THEY LOOK, BUT THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT THE CASE. SOME DAYS I FEEL I NEED A WHISTLE AND STRIPED SHIRT FOR MY SWEET GIRLS. I OFTEN CALL MY MOM TERESA FOR PARENTING ADVICE. SHE SEEMS TO HAVE DONE THE BEST JOB WITH HER ROLE AS A MOM. MAYBE SHE JUST HAD THE BEST DAUGHTER TO WORK WITH. BUT HER BOYS TURNED OUT GOOD TOO. I REALLY THINK SHE HAS THE MAGIC. I DO A LOT OF PRAYING THAT I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING FOR MY DAUGHTERS. BUT I KNOW I AM A TOTAL SOFTY FOR THEM. I ALWAYS WANT TO BELIEVE THEY ARE TRYING TO BE THEIR BEST. WHEN I WAS A NANNY I WAS MUCH MORE FIRM.
LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL.
LOVE TAMI AND HER DARLING GIRLS.

Tami here.

2009-11-27T15:23:00.000-08:00

WE HAD A GREAT THANKSGIVING, WITH LOTS TO GIVE THANKS FOR, AND LOTS OF YUMMY FOOD! GRANDMA TONI AND AUNT MONICA DID ALL THE COOKING. THE BOYS WENT RIDING ON THEIR FOUR WHEELERS. THE GIRLS AND I HUNG OUT, ANXIOUSLY WAITING FOR FOOD. OF COURSE IT WAS FABULOUS! I TRIED TO EAT AS MUCH AS I COULD FIT, WHILE LEAVING A SPACE FOR PIE LATER. THEN BRING ON THE FOOD COMA! MY ELLA PASSED OUT IN HER CHAIR, SOUND ASLEEP RIGHT BEFORE WE ATE. TONI ASKED WHO IS GOING TO SAY GRACE? LILLI SPOKE UP AND SHOUTED OUT "GRACE"! WE ALL LAUGHED AND SHE SAID, "MOM WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?" SO I EXPLAINED, AND ON WENT THE MEAL.
SINCE SLEEPING SOMEWHERE ELSE IS NEVER THE SAME AS BEING AT HOME, THE GIRLS HAD A ROUGH NIGHT BEFORE. SO WE WERE ALL EXTRA TIRED AFTER DINNER. THE GIRLS AND ALBERT FELL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH, ALL SLUNG OVER EACH OTHER. IT WAS SO CUTE! MY LITTLE FAMILY IN A DOG PILE! WE HAD TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE WAS SNORING. I THINK IT WAS ALL 3.
WE CAME HOME THURSDAY NIGHT, AND ALBERT WENT TO MEET HIS BROTHER FOR A WEDDING IN LAS VEGAS. SO THE GIRLS AND I ARE BEING LAZY TODAY. I HOPE EVERY ONE HAD A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY. LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL.

2009-11-24T13:38:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon. It is Tami. My girls are off to school. It is so quiet at home, I love it!
So I went to the new doctor yesterday. She seems very good. She is VERY thorough, which is good. The old doctor was the exact opposite. I think I will like her. I was frustrated yesterday because she set up 2 appointments for me on Wednesday. She wants me to have my eyes checked, in case my seizure medication is causing trouble with my vision. We do want to know if it is, although I am concerned, because I don't want to have to switch meds again. But my real trouble was finding rides and child care for these 2 appointments on such short notice. I go to the first one at 8a.m and will have to be gone most of the day Wednesday. That stinks for me, but I shouldn't complain. I will have Thursday and Friday to rest.
One funny thing with the new doc is, she says I need to be eating 3 to 5 meals a day. I had to laugh since I am doing good to have 2 a day! SO THIS WILL MAKE BETH feel better about my diet. I might even gain a pound or two.
Now I know I am not part of the general female population when I say I am trying to gain weight, and that I am self conscience about my bones showing. Only Hollywood thinks being this skinny is cool.
The cute part of my Monday had to be watching my little Ella dance to dads music. Lilli has been a dancer since she could stand, but Ella is much more reserved. But she is changing and she had her hands on hips and was rocking out. It was so cute! Wish I could show everyone. Although she is growing up I still see her as my little baby.
I will be gone for a few days. We are going to Albert's grandma Toni's, in Enterprise for Thanksgiving. I wish you all a wonderful holiday!
GOD BLESS AND THANK YOU ALL.
Love Tami and her tiny dancers.

SNEAKY CHILDREN.

2009-11-23T10:11:00.000-08:00

HELLO IT IS TAMI AGAIN WITH OUR NEWEST CHALLENGE. I PUT THE GIRLS TO BED AS USUAL LAST NIGHT AND; THEN IT SOUNDED LIKE A PARTY, SO I WENT IN TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON AND; ELLA WAS UP ON LILLI'S BUNK BED WITH A FLASH LIGHT AND THEY WERE HAVING A BALL. SO I TURNED THE LIGHT ON AND THEY WERE COVERED IN MY LIP-STICK! SO THEY BOTH GOT IN TROUBLE FOR THAT AND HAD TO GO BACK TO BED. THIS MORNING I NOTICED THAT LILLI HAD HER NAILS PAINTED PURPLE. SO I CHECKED HER BED, AND SURE ENOUGH, POLISH ON EVERYTHING! I HAD THROWN THE POLISH AWAY LAST WEEK AND I HAD TRIED TO HIDE THE LIP-STICK, OBVIOUSLY NOT GOOD ENOUGH. THEY ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO GET AT IT. SO TODAY SHE IS GROUNDED TO HER ROOM AND I AM PUZZLED WITH HOW TO PREVENT FUTURE ADVENTURES OF SNEAKINESS. ANY ADVICE IS WELCOME.
I KNOW IT LOOKS REALLY BAD TO TIE UP CHILDREN'S HANDS, SO I WON'T GO THAT ROUTE. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO START PATTING THEM DOWN BEFORE THEY LEAVE A ROOM. LIKE A METAL OR MAKE-UP DETECTOR. NOW WE ONLY HAVE 2 CHILDREN WE SHOULD HAVE A HANDLE ON THAT. SOME FOLKS HAVE MANY MORE. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THAT TROUBLE.
I HAVE AN APT. WITH A NEW NEUROLOGIST TODAY. WE WERE NOT PLEASED WITH THE LAST ONE. AT LEAST IT SHOULD BE A PAINLESS VISIT. I WILL TELL HOW IT GOES LATER. I FEEL LIKE I AM GETTING IN THE GROOVE OF THIS WHOLE SITUATION BETTER EACH DAY.
MORE TO COME LATER.

tami here.

2009-11-21T10:05:00.000-08:00

Hi! to all . It is Saturday morning and I have the girls watching Little Mermaid so I can update without their fingers trying to help. I was reading back through the old blog from the beginning of this journey, and was brought to tears by all the love. I missed most of the stressful action I brought to those that followed the news. What a trip! I hope to never repeat it. Those that talk to me, or see me, know that I am a huge Twilight fan. I had read all the books before my stroke, and once I was home, I buried myself in them again, for the happy escape that reading gives me. Last night was opening day of the New Moon movie, and my dear friend Andrea bought me a ticket earlier in the month. So we went last night, and it was fabulous! I am already wanting to see it again. I even played my handicap card and didn't have to wait in line. It was funny though, the staff said to me," Where is the handicap person?" I laughed and said," It's me, but thanks for not noticing."
This morning Albert had to work, so the girls and I are hanging at home, like we do. My little Ella did a 2 year old thing and came crying to me. I asked " what happened?" She cried,"I have licorice in my nose!" I had given them a nibs, and I guess it smelled good. We got it out, and I thought, "at least it took her this long before she tried that childhood trick." I am so much better than my old blogs. It is crazy what we can survive, once put to the test. I continue to improve. I know that I have to keep trying things that I maybe couldn't do before, because I can usually do them now. I still have a long way to go, because I want near perfection. I want everything just as good as it used to be, and I WILL get it!
Continued love, and grace to all.
Love Tami
Thank you to everyone for the last year.
My editor mother Teresa has been busy correcting my punctuation and grammar this week since I have entered so much . Love you mom.

tami's evening post.

2009-11-19T20:12:00.000-08:00

Hello from Tami. It is Thursday night. My girls are sleeping and I should be too, but wanted to brag about my babies first school picture day. Their aunt Monica came in the morning to fix their hair so cute ! She did pigtails with perfect ringlets for each. She had also bought ribbon to put in. They looked so innocent and cute! I am so excited to see the pictures. Their teacher said that Ella wouldn't smile. She had told me she was going to do a scary face. I hope that wasn't the case.

I had biofeedback therapy today, and continue to beat past records for myself. I also told him I am running out of patience. I am usually really good at staying positive, but I can feel myself losing that with my hand. I can surely move my shoulder and arm, but still nothing of use. I have had it with not having two hands! I find myself wanting to scream or cry through the day when I remember it doesn't work! Because I will go to do something that should be so simple, like carry laundry, or help my girls get dressed, and sure enough, it just hangs there. Now 6 months of that is annoying. It has been more than a year, and I have had it! I really hope I have learned whatever lesson God is trying to teach me.... Because I need a recess !!!

Now there is a man that has therapy with me on Thursdays, and he has been paralyzed for 3 1/2 years. He is now standing, and can walk with a walker. So I tell myself if he can do that, there is no reason I can't get my damn hand going! I'm sure I should say " dang hand" but that's not what I mean! I feel sometimes like I am being a snot. I should be so happy that I have made it through all this mess and all I lost was one limb and some brain. But I still have so much left, or technically I have my right side, not much of my left, but you know what I mean. Everyone says at least I am young, but that is a double-edge sword. Yes, I am young, so I should be tougher, but I am too young for this crap! My parents are too old for this crap! No offence mom and dad, you know I love you both, and you have the crappiest seat in this. My Ella cut her lip at the park, and I wanted to cry for her! She is my baby! I am 28 and totally my parents baby, at least my dads for sure. Teresa has a softer spot for my children. I think she is used to my drama.

2009-11-17T19:52:00.000-08:00

Hi, from Tami . We made it through Tuesday, so I'm sure that since I mentioned just yesterday how great my blood check has been, I jinxed it for today. My blood has been perfect since August. Today it was too thin. No big deal, it just means they alter my dose a bit and they have to draw a vile of blood. My girls always come with, so when I knew the shot was coming, I said "dang it", and Lilli said, "What's wrong mom?" So I explained that mom hates shots. She said "Be tough mom, if you're sad then I am sad. " So I said," No worries baby, mom is so tough, and Ms. ancy does it so it doesn't even hurt." Then my dear friend Julie, that had driven us there , took the girls to school, since it was time for it. Then I came home and picked up the hurricane mess that my angels had made earlier. Once I had done that, it was safe to try a nap. I slept for one lovely hour, then dad and the girls were home. My little Ella is still getting used to school during her nap time, so she crashes as soon as she's home. Tomorrow I told Ella, if the sun isn't up she has to stay in bed. She was up at 6AM this morning again, so hungry she needed a few pieces of cereal and a drink of milk, then she's done and tired. I tried to feed her extra before bed to make her not hungry.

Wednesday is my favorite day, only Lilli goes to school, and then it is just Ella and mom. We have no appointments and we always go to church @ 7pm. I love it! The girls have the little kids bible class to go to, and dad and I sit in the service. I love it so much! I look forward to it all week.
Love to all, good night.
I'm too tired to proof read this, my mom does it again anyway.
Thanks Teresa.

my happy monday.

2009-11-16T19:38:00.000-08:00

MY DARLING ELLA WOKE ME AT 6:15 THIS MORNING. EARLY EVEN FOR HER! SHE WAS WHINING ABOUT HOW HUNGRY SHE WAS, SO I TIREDLY GOT UP TO GET HER BREAKFAST, AND HONESTLY SHE TOOK 2 BITES AND WENT TO LIE ON THE FLOOR CUZ SHE'S TIRED. DUH ! THE SUN WASN'T EVEN UP! SO BY 7A.M. I WAS ALREADY DREAMING ABOUT LUNCH AND NAP TIME. I KNOW THAT ONE DAY THEY WILL BE TOO BIG TO NAP, BUT I WILL PUSH IT TILL THE LAST MOMENT. SO I LEAVE THE HOUSE A MESS, AND TRY TO GET A NAP TOO. SOME DAYS BETTER THAN OTHERS . BOTH GIRLS HAVE PRESCHOOL TOMORROW SO THAT WILL BE MY BLESSED NAP OF THE WEEK . WE HAVE MY BLOOD CHECK IN THE MORNING AND GRATEFULLY I HAVE HAD PERFECT NUMBERS FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW. SO I DON'T EVEN WONDER ABOUT IT ANYMORE. IT IS THE GIRLS FAVORITE APPOINTMENT TO GO TO WITH ME . THE NURSE THAT DOES MY BLOOD WORK ALSO LOVES THE GIRLS AND SPOILS THEM WITH 2 SUCKERS EACH. THE WHOLE CLINIC LOVES TO SEE THEM . I ALMOST WORRY IF THEY WOULD STILL TREAT ME AS WELL WITH OUT MY SIDE KICKS. THE NURSE IS NAMED NANCY ,THEY CALL HER MS. ANCY THEY WATCH HER SO OFTEN I BET LILLI KNOWS HOW TO DO IT HERSELF. MY LITTLE FUTURE NURSES.
WHEN ALBERT GOT HOME TODAY I ASKED HIM TO TAKE ME TANNING, SOMETHING I USED TO DO ALLOT BUT HADN'T SINCE I HAD LILLI . THERE IS A PLACE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. I WENT TWICE LAST WEEK , AND REMEMBERED HOW MUCH I LOVE IT! I LOVE THE WARMTH, DOWN TO MY BONES, AND NOW IT'S LIKE A MOMMY TIME OUT.
I USED TO WORRY ABOUT WRINKLES, BUT AFTER THIS LAST YEAR I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT THAT. NOW MY BABIES ARE IN BED SO I HAVE SOME QUIET TIME TO REFLECT ON OUR DAY .
FOR LUNCH I LET THEM GET ON THE COUNTER TO WATCH ME, AND WHEN I GOT THEM DOWN, THEY WERE BOTH SO HAPPY BECAUSE MOMMY WAS HOLDING THEM. I LOVE THAT THEY STILL JUST THINK OF ME AS THE SAME OL' MOM. THEY LOVE ME EVEN IF I CAN ONLY HOLD THEM FOR A SHORT MINUTE. THEY MAKE MY WORLD A HAPPY PLACE . THEY REALLY LOVE THAT THEY ARE FASTER THAN ME.

DAD WALKED THEM TO THE PARK CLOSE BY TONIGHT, AFTER DINNER . THEY CAME BACK FREEZING COLD. SO THEN WE HAD HOT COCOA TO WARM UP.
I AM SO LUCKY! WHAT A LIFE I HAVE! HOT CHOCOLATE WITH ANGELS , PLUS THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE DADDY WITHDRAWALS TODAY. THAT WAS GREAT FOR ME!
GOD BLESS AND LOVE TO ALL.

Tami here, with our weekend fun.

2009-11-15T18:48:00.000-08:00

Saturday we went to uncle David's birthday party, at their house. All day Ella said she was going to help uncle David with his candles. Ella is hard to win over, but while I was in the hospital, the girls spent alot of time with family, and David made a soft spot in Ella's heart. He is currently her favorite. I hear he would let her pick large amounts of grapes from our grape vine, and the way to her heart is surely through her tummy. So like she planned, David put her on his lap while we sang, and Ella soaked up the glory, pretending we were singing to her. She then helped him blow the candles out and each time one of the family would say "Hi Ella", she would respond with , " I go to school now." She is so happy to be in the club with her sister, and as their mom it's always fun to see how proud & happy my daughters are.
We ate wonderful food, as always, with Albert's family, and when we went home we brought home the girls cousin for a sleepover. She is 6 and loves playing with the girls. Sunday morning we got our usual weekend breakfast that dad always makes, waffles with whip-cream & strawberries. Then I needed to go to Walmart, so we took the kids to the park first to let them run around, but it was really cold for us sun- soakers, probably 50 or so. It was windy too, so I hid in the truck while dad played with all 3 girls. He is always willing to play. Lucky for me, and for the girls. Then off for the endless Walmart list. Usually we each take one girl and meet at the front. I had the two big girls, Lilli and her cousin. It was the first time Lilli got to walk. It took her about 10 minutes before her excitement wore off, but she was good and stayed close to mom, and I would tell them what we needed and let them put it in the cart. They found that to be very neat, like they were shopping. We came home to have lunch and let them have a nap. Then I was so pleased about getting in the bath last week, so I decided to try it again. A nice peaceful bath. I think I had about 10 minutes before Lilli and Ella were standing right next to the tub, giving me bath toys from their tub, wondering why I didn't have some already, and they want to help mom all the time. So they stood at the door and kept saying "mom just tell us if you need anything." THEY waited... not so patiently... until I was ready to give up on my relaxing bath. They really are sweet! They want to help with anything I need. So I gave in and let them do their favorite thing, and use their always cold little hands, to put lotion on mom's back. They learned this from when Teresa lived here, even the cold hand part. We had to find some way for them to be useful. Now tomorrow is withdrawal day. They both go into shock on Mondays when dad goes back to work, after they have their best buddy home for two days. It's always hard when he leaves. They love mom but on Monday when they wake, they are so sad to see that dad is gone . With mom it's just routine and house junk, with dad it's play and outings. He really has fun with them. Ella tells him," You're just a big boy." I have to agree. The 3 of them are noisy, fun, and silly. Very lucky to have such an active dad for my girls. They just keep getting bigger. I can't believe my Lilli will be 4 in January! How time flies! We both know we only have about 10 years of fun to go, and then trouble, 14 and 13, and they are so sassy, heaven help us! Albert's birthday is next month, and like most, he's not looking forward to being older, and I'm chomping at the bit to be 30! Two years to go, but I imagine how strong I will be by then, and with hope, I'll be wiser as well. I'm so excited for both! I also daydream of how incredibly easy my days will be, as soon as I gain full use of my left arm. I truly feel blessed that my health challenge was hard as heck to begin and NOW I have as long as I need to get better. Most illnesses, it's the other way, it gets progressively worse. Mine was a big wreck and then eased off, not easy, but do-able, I get to know the worst is behind me, and since they found out what caused it, I have full faith it won't ever happen again. Glad to get that out of the way. For those that were there when I woke from the trauma, I had thought I was in the hospital to have a baby. What other reason would a young woman be in the hospital? So I was very sad to find out that wasn't the case, and even though I struggle to keep up with my two, my heart still wants the one from my coma dream. God is mysterious, who knows, maybe I get that baby later in life. I adore my girls, and know I have little angels tearing up my house each day, but there is nothing more magical than a new baby. I continue to dream of my delusional baby at least once a week. I am so glad I got the two real ones first. My memories of the coma are very interesting to me. I remember bits and pieces of reality, in a fog of hallucinations is the best I can describe it. I wish I could update with some photos. We just got some of our Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty from Halloween, and holy crow! They look stunning! I would love to show them off. We are really hoping to get a family photo done before the holidays. We haven't ever had a real one. When we get one, I'll try to get it on here. Well my girls are in bed and I'm ready to follow, as for the entry from my grandma Ann , I had mentioned that I might stop making entries and she obviously doesn't want that, and if it would make her happy I will write them forever! She has been amazing, as always, but so much this last year. She still takes me to my biofeedback therapy most weeks. She scanned a very neat article on it to me, So if anyone would like it I can e-mail it to you. It talks about some special cases where some have recovered from stroke and spinal cord injuries. It's proof that I will get everything back the way I used to be. It'll be hard work, but that's what makes things worth while. I have been so focused on being able to fix the girls hair , it barely occurred to me last week that I will be able to fix mine as well. I hadn't even thought of how useful that will be for me! I had Albert take me to go tanning twice this week. I used to go all the time, 'till I was pregnant. So it had been 3 years since I had gone. I forgot how much I loved it! Since I am always so cold, it felt great to be warm to my bones for awhile. I'm so happy to fit that in, since I'm so pale. I only do about 7 minutes, so Albert and the girls just wait in the truck. It feels good to have even 7 minutes to myself. I asked Albert that on the days he gets to go to the gym I would love to go tan, sounds like a good deal for both of us. Each week gets more comfortable for all of us, as we adjust to our new life. Albert has been going out on his 4wheeler a lot lately. I know that's how he has fun. Last week he crashed and got some road rash, he had the girls taking care of him since I'm mean and had no sympathy. I told him to " suck it up." Lilli said" suck what up, mom?" I know he's itching to go camping again. They haven't been for almost a month, which is long for them , but it's getting colder.
love to all and GOD BLESS.

Grandma Ann here. . . .

2009-11-15T17:41:00.000-08:00

I think it is very important for you to continue this blog. It serves as a record/journal for you. This story that has been logged here from the beginning and as you said, you receive strength from reading how far you've come.

The entries don't have to be long and terribly detailed, but I encourage to write at least weekly . . . . .posting how your life is becoming more 'normal' and things that encourage or discourage you. Also, it will be so fun for your girls to read about themselves and what a delight they are to you.

I think you still have friends and family that would love to check in here periodically. . . .keep it up sweetheart! Love ya!

tami's back to update the week.

2009-11-13T14:41:00.000-08:00

ELLA HAD HER FIRST DAYS AT PRESCHOOL THIS WEEK . SHE WILL JOIN LILLI 2 DAYS A WEEK. LILLI GOES 3 DAYS. ELLA COULD BARELY CONTAIN HER JOY AT KNOWING SHE WAS GOING TO SCHOOL WITH HER BIG SISTER ON TUESDAY. IT WAS PRETTY CUTE. SHE HAS BEEN VERY GOOD WITHOUT HER PACIFIER. SHE ALSO GRADUATED OUT OF HER HIGH CHAIR THIS WEEK. SHE IS OFFICIALLY A BIG GIRL. SHE HAD A VERY EXCITING MONTH, POTTY TRAINED, GOING TO PRESCHOOL, NO PACIFIER OR HIGH CHAIR. MY BABY IS GETTING SO BIG! THEIR TEACHER PICKS THEM UP ON TUESDAY AND THURSDAY, AND JUST LILLI WEDNESDAY. THE SCHOOL THEY GO TO IS REALLY GREAT, AND THEY SAID THE GIRLS ARE SO FUN TO HAVE. LILLI GETS TO PLAY THE BOSSY BIG SISTER, A ROLE SHE'S GOOD AT. THEY JUST GIGGLE AND PLAY AND TELL ME ALL ABOUT THEIR DAY AND ALL THE FRIENDS THEY MAKE. I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL NOW THAT THEY ARE GETTING BIG TOGETHER. WHEN I HAD THEM SO CLOSE IT WAS REALLY HARD, BUT NOW IT'S PAYING OFF. THAT IS OUR BIG NEWS RIGHT NOW.
I WAS THINKING I MIGHT CUT BACK ON MY BLOG ENTRIES FOR AWHILE
SINCE MY PROGRESS HAS SLOWED DOWN. I WILL JUST BRAG ABOUT MY GIRLS CONTINUED GROWTH.
I WANTED TO WAIT TILL I GOT TO ANNOUNCE SOMETHING WONDERFUL LIKE I BRAIDED THEIR HAIR OR ZIPPED A JACKET. I HAVE BEEN GOING BACK TO READ THE OLDER ENTRIES IN THE BLOG TO REMIND MYSELF HOW FAR I HAVE COME. I FORGET SINCE I JUST CONTINUE. NOW I'M SELFISH AND STILL WANT BIG LEAPS OF IMPROVEMENT. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REALLY FOCUS ON MY LEFT LEG TO MAKE MY WALKING BETTER. IT IS GETTING STRONGER AND I CAN PRACTICE ANYWHERE I GO. IT KIND OF LOOKS SILLY WHEN I'M TRYING TO SWING MY ARM AROUND. I SAVE THAT ONE FOR HOME. I APPRECIATE THE SMALLEST THINGS THAT'S FOR SURE! LAST WEEK I ACCOMPLISHED A HUGE THING FOR ME. I HAVE A NICE BIG TUB THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO USE SINCE IT IS SO DEEP. I WAS SCARED TO GET IN. WE HAD TRIED WHEN TERESA FIRST BROUGHT ME HOME, AND IT DIDN'T REALLY WORK. BUT LAST WEEK I GOT IN AND OUT BY MYSELF. I WAS VERY HAPPY AND PROUD OF ME FOR DOING THAT! I ALSO REALIZED THAT MY GIRLS GET ALOT OUT OF THOSE MOMENTS, SINCE THEY GET TO LEARN HOW TO HELP THEMSELVES WITH THINGS MOM ISN'T ABLE TO DO YET. MY LITTLE ELLA CAN DRESS HERSELF AND PUT HER SHOES ON. OF COURSE, I WISH I COULD DO EVERY THING THEY NEED, SO I REMIND MYSELF THAT IT TEACHES THEM INDEPENDENCE SKILLS.
GOD BLESS ALL, UNTIL NEXT TIME, TAMI

my e-mail at last. for those that have been waiting for me.

2009-11-06T07:35:00.000-08:00

It's a long one but I guess there are a lot of Tamara Richardsons out there.
taminatormom 14 @live.com
I can usually check it at least once a day.
As you all know Teresa left .
Ella had her first dentist check yesterday and he said no more pacifier. So we had to do the heart-breaking task of taking it away. She cried most of yesterday & ended up in mom and dad's bed last night. She is so sad! I think it'll be hard for me to stick to since I have a super soft heart and hate to have her so sad all day. She is still my baby, even if she's two. Her dad cut all her pacifiers up, so I have no choice but to follow rules .
This morning she asked Lilli to go buy her a new one.
God bless to all and to Beth, yes I'm eating. I even put on 3 whole pounds in a month! That's huge for me! It takes a lot of ice-cream and focus. love you.

IT'S TAMI

2009-11-04T11:44:00.000-08:00

WOW! I JUST SAW THE NEW PICTURES FOR THE FIRST TIME. IT'S STILL UNREAL FOR ME TO SEE THE OLD PICTURE FROM THE HOSPITAL. I WAS SO SCAREY LOOKING! I HAVE TO GO TO AN APPOINTMENT NOW. I'LL WRITE MORE LATER.

TERESA GOES HOME

2009-11-04T11:07:00.000-08:00

HI FRIENDS AND FAMILY. TERESA HAS BEEN HERE BLESSING ME WITH HER HELP AND PATIENCE WITH MY GIRLS. I REALIZED IT'S A GOOD THING SHE HAD TO MOVE BACK TO VERNAL AND LEAVE ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF AND THE GIRLS. IT'S MUCH TOO EASY TO SIT BACK AND LET HER TAKE OVER FOR ME. I SURELY HAVE IMPROVED OUT OF NESSECITY. SHE HAS TO HEAD HOME TODAY. SADLY WE ALWAYS WISH SHE COULD SPEND MORE TIME. THE GIRLS JUST ADORE HER AND MIND HER SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEY DO ME.
I TRY TO CONTINUALLY GET USED TO THE NEW ME. I GET FRUSTRATED SINCE I WAS SO DRIVEN AND INDEPENDANT BEFORE AND I DO REQUIRE SO MUCH HELP FROM OTHERS. STILL THE CORE OF ME STILL KNOWS HOW LUCKY I AM, BUT THE HUMAN PART OF ME GETS IRRITATED WITH MY TROUBLED BODY. I TOLD TERESA I'M SURPRISED THAT I CAN STILL HAVE SO MUCH PRIDE AND WANT TO DO THINGS BY MYSELF. I WOULD THINK I COULD LET THAT GO BY NOW.
LOVE TO ALL AND GOD BLESS

2009-11-01T13:19:00.000-08:00

HI AGAIN FROM TAMI. WE HAD OUR HALLOWEEN FUN FRIDAY NIGHT. ALBERT'S FAMILY TOOK THE GIRLS OUT SATURDAY TOO, BUT I WAS TO TIRED TO GO AGAIN, SO I HUNG AT HOME HOPING FOR FEW TRICK- OR- TREATERS, SINCE I HAD MY FAVORITE TREATS TO GIVE AND WOULD LOVE TO EAT THEM MYSELF. THE GIRLS HAD A BLAST AND I DID MANAGE TO HIDE THE CANDY WHERE THEY CAN'T FIND IT, AND WE CAN RATION IT OUT SLOWLY. IT'S SO DIFFERENT TO BE THE PARENT INSTEAD OF THE KID. I STILL REMEMBER HOW MY DAD WOULD" INSPECT" MY TREATS FOR SO CALLED SAFETY, AND NOW ITS MY TURN.
I KNOW TERESA MENTIONED MY CALIFORNIA TRIP, BUT I WILL FILL IN THE EXTRA INFO. I WENT SO I COULD GET A BREAK FROM THE HOUSE AND SEE WHERE ALBERT IS FROM. SURE ENOUGH I MISSED MY GIRLS THE SECOND I LEFT THE HOUSE. I HAD BEEN QUITE NERVOUS TO TRAVEL THAT FAR. IT'S NOT AS EASY FOR ME NOW, PLUS I HAD NEVER BEEN SO FAR FROM MY BABIES. ALBERT'S FAMILY WAS VERY WELCOMING AND MAKES THE BEST FOOD! I THINK I ATE MORE THAT WEEKEND THAN I HAVE ALL YEAR! IT WAS WONDERFUL! WE WENT TO THE SAN DIEGO ZOO AND I DIDN'T KNOW THEY HAD MOTOR CARTS FOR THE ELDERLY, WHICH I FEEL LIKE I AM. SO I TRIED TO BE TOUGH AND WALKED THE WHOLE DAY! THAT WASN'T THE BEST IDEA I'VE HAD. IT WAS NERVE RACKING TO HAVE ALL THE PEOPLE AROUND ME. I ALMOST GOT KNOCKED DOWN TWICE BY ROWDY KIDS. I FORGET THAT THEY CAN BE DANGEROUS, SINCE MY GIRLS ARE SO USED TO ME AND KNOW TO BE CAREFUL WITH MOM. BUT IT WAS STILL VERY NEAT AND MAN WAS I SORE THE NEXT DAY! BUT IT WAS MY BACK THAT WAS SORE, SO I KNEW I WASN'T WALKING RIGHT. WELL I ALREADY KNEW THAT. SO THE NEXT TIME I HAD BIO- FEEDBACK I ASKED TO WORK ON MY LEFT KNEE INSTEAD OF MY ARM. IT WAS SO NEAT! HE HOOKED IT UP AND IT SHOWED THAT THERE WAS NO CONNECTION FROM MY BRAIN. BASICALLY MY BRAIN COMPLETELY FORGOT I HAD A LEFT KNEE. BECAUSE OF THAT I HAD NO MUSCLE, SO AFTER ABOUT 5 MINUTES OF USING THE COMPUTER TO LET MY BRAIN FIND THE CONNECTION, WE HAD IT WORKING. I WAS SO EXCITED THAT I KEPT WORKING ON IT UNTIL MY LEG FATIGUED. I WAS PROUD, BUT THEN I LEFT AND MY LEG WAS SO TIRED I COULDN'T GET ON THE ELEVATOR BEFORE THE DOORS CLOSED. IT TOOK ABOUT TEN MINUTES BEFORE SOMEONE WAS GETTING OFF AND COULD HOLD THE DOOR FOR ME, AND SOMEONE ELSE HELD IT SO I COULD GET OFF. I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY FUNNY. THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR TRYING TO SHOW OFF.
OK BACK TO CALIFORNIA, IT WAS COUSIN KRISTINA'S BIRTHDAY, SO THEY GOT A STRETCH HUMMER LIMO AND WE ALL WENT TO TEMECULA, TO A WINERY. THEN WE TRIED TO GO TO DINNER, BUT THE PLACE HAD CLOSED. FOR ANYONE THAT'S BEEN IN A LIMO IT'S USUALLY STOCKED WITH ALCOHOL, AND WHILE I CAN'T DISCLOSE DETAILS, WE WILL JUST SAY IT WAS A PARTY ON WHEELS! WE ALL HAD SO MUCH FUN! I THINK EVERY PICTURE OF ME, MY MOUTH WAS WIDE OPEN FROM LAUGHING SO HARD. WHAT FUN WE HAD! I STAYED WITH AUNT BECKY AND UNCLE FRANK AND THEY HAVE A 2 YEAR OLD GIRL THAT IS VERY CUTE, BUT MADE ME THINK OF MY GIRLS CONSTANTLY. BY SUNDAY NIGHT I WAS SO READY TO BE HOME WITH MY BABIES. IT WAS A REALLY LONG DRIVE HOME. I HAD BOUGHT LOTS OF STUFF AT THE BEACH FOR MY GIRLS AND HAD COMPLETELY FORGOT TO GET ANYTHING FOR ALBERT, BUT AT LEAST HIS AUNT MONICA GOT HIM STUFF. I WAS VERY HAPPY TO BE HOME AND DECIDED THAT IF I NEED TO GET AWAY, NEXT TIME I WILL JUST GO TO GRANDMA ANN'S SO I'M NOT SO FAR FROM THE GIRLS , AND IT'S ONLY A 5 MIN. DRIVE HOME. LIFE IS BACK TO OUR ROUTINE NOW. ME, THE GIRLS, BREAKFAST, CLEAN, LUNCH, CLEAN IT, DAD COMES HOME TO MAKE DINNER. I KNOW THEY ARE KIDS, BUT THEY ARE SO MESSY! I CAN'T EVER CATCH UP! MY POOR ALBERT ENDS UP DOING A LOT OF HOUSE WORK. THE GIRLS ARE SLOWLY LEARNING TO HELP TOO. I ALWAYS THINK OF THE SAYING THAT CLEANING HOUSE WHILE THE KIDS ARE HOME IS LIKE SHOVELING WHILE IT'S STILL SNOWING . THAT IS SO VERY TRUE . MONDAY OUR FAVORITE VISITOR IS COMING FOR 2 DAYS. IT'S GRANDMA TERESA. NOW I KNOW MY MOM LOVES ME A TON, BUT I ALSO KNOW SHE MAKES THE VERY LONG DRIVE TO SEE HER GRAND DAUGHTERS AND I'M HAPPY WITH THAT. WE GET VERY EXCITED TO HAVE HER. IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS FOR US EACH TIME. SHE REALLY IS THE BEST. I'M SO LUCKY IN A MILLION WAYS !
LOVE TO ALL, HAVE A GREAT WEEK,
GOD BLESS!

GUESS WHO FINALLY GOT A COMPUTER? IT'S TAMI

2009-10-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

I AM PART OF SOCIETY NOW YEEHAW FOR ME.!WE HAD EXPLAIN TO EL WHY SHE DOES' MUCH FUN TODAY LILLI HAD A COSTUME PARADE AT HER PRESCHOOL SO WE WENT AND TOOK ELLA IN HER COSTUME AS WELL EL WAS SO BLASTED HAPPY TO GO TO BIG SISTERS SCHOOL THEY HAD CUPCAKES AND ROOT BEER IT'S HARD ENOUGH TO EL WHY SHE DOESN'T GET TO GO EVERY DAY NOW SHE THINKS IT'S ALWAYS A PARTY THEY WERE SO PRETTY CINDERELLA FOR LIL SLEEPING BEAUTY FOR ELLA OF COARSE I THINK MY GIRLS ARE THE CUTEST KIDS EVER BUT THEY REALLY ARE
WE ARE GOING TO A FRIENDS CHURCH FRIDAY NIGHT FOR TRUNK OR TREAT. IT'S EASIER AND SAFER THAN DOOR TO DOOR. I'M ALREADY CRINGING AT THE AMOUNT OF SUGAR THEY ARE GOING TO EAT. I WILL BE HIDING AS MUCH OF IT AS POSSIBLE FOR EASTER MAYBE THATS FAR ENOUGH AWAY THEY'LL FORGET BY THEN.
NOW I WILL UPDATE THIS MORE OFTEN FOR SURE AND TERESA WON'T HAVE TO FILL IN FOR ME.

Monday Oct. 26,2009

2009-10-26T08:23:00.000-07:00

From Teresa... Hi, it's been awhile since I've added anything to this blog. Tami seems to be hanging in there these days. She was invited to join Aunt Monica and family on a weekend trip to San Diego. They stayed with Aunt Becky's family and had a great visit. They went to the beach, zoo, and other local sights. The long drive was hard on Tami's bottom, but it's that way for any of us.

Tami's neurologist changed her anti-seizure medicine from the keppra to something else, which seems to have less severe side effects for her. The new one makes her sleepy and affects her complexion but less mood swings and other frustrations.

Last week at her bio-feedback therapy Tami asked Steve to work on her left leg and knee, instead of her arm. She got some major improvement by the end of the session! Only she fatigued that leg so much during the appointment, that she had a hard time getting on and off the elevator to leave! The good news is.... everything her brain learns during the sessions, it remembers, no matter how long between therapies. I think she wants to do more leg stuff this week again. (The knee and ankle don't have the "lift" movement very well. As a result she swings that leg out and around. ) Then she'll go back and work more on the arm and hand.

Lilli and Ella both picked up a ''bug" of some kind this last weekend. They are both feeling better today. Tami's happy to be done with cleaning up the puke and diarrhea for now. She is also trying to be sure to get her rest in , so she stays healthy too.

Lilli is going to pre-school three days a week now. The sweet teacher picks her up and drops her off at her house those days. Lilli absolutely LOVES it, and Ella gets some quality alone time with her mommy. It's great all around.

I'm hoping to run to St. George on my days off next week. I really miss the little turkeys. More later....Teresa

2009-10-04T16:31:00.000-07:00

WELL HI TO EVERYONE WE ARE STILL MOVING FORWARD. LAST WEEKEND I JOINED ALBERT &THE GIRLS FOR A LITTLE CAMPING IN PINE VALLEY I HAD HIGH HOPES TO MAKE IT 3 DAYS BUT AFTER THE FIRST COLD UNCOMFORTABLE NIGHT OF VERY LITTLE SLEEP I WAS BEGGING TO HEAD HOME SO ALBERT GAVE IN AND DROVE US HOME AFTER OUR DINNER ON SATURDAY EVENING THE GIRLS ARE VERY USED TO ALL THE FUN OF THE MOUNTAINS & BEING WITH THEIR WONDERFUL DAD. WE SAW DEER CATERPILLAR'S AND THEY FOUND A SNAKE WITH DAD SO WE ALL HAD FUN AND WERE TIRED AND DIRTY WHEN WE CAME HOME IT WAS OUR FIRST TRIP IN DADS NEW CAMPER ALBERT COOKS WONDERFUL FOOD WHILE CAMPING GRANDMA TONI CAME OUT TO JOIN US FOR DINNER. THEY HAVE SWITCHED ONE OF MY MEDS AND IT HAS MADE A GREAT DIFFERENCE IN MY MOOD I'M HAPPIER AND ENJOY GOING OUT MORE PLUS IT DOESN'T HAVE THE NASTY SIDE EFFECTS OF THE OLD ONE WE HAVE BEEN HAVING A BUNCH OF FUN AS A FAMILY WE MADE A TRIP TO THE FUN CENTER TO LET ME TRY OUT MY DRIVING SKILLS IN THE GO-CARTS IT WAS SO MUCH FUN LILLI RODE WITH ME AND DAD & ELLA WATCHED US IT WAS SO MUCH FUN I CAN'T WAIT TO DO THAT AGAINIT WAS THE BEST REHAB HOMEWORK SO FAR IT WILL BE AWHILE BEFORE I BRAVE A REAL CAR AND ROAD BUT IT'S JUST UP FROM HERE. I'M CONTINUING WITH MY BIO FEED BACK THERAPY ON MY ARM AND EVERY WEEK IS STRONGER THAN THE LAST I STILL DON'T HAVE USE OF THE FINGERS AND PRAISE GOD WHEN I DO I WILL HAVE THE WORLD IN MY HAND LITERALLY A YEAR HAS PASSED AND I'M FINALLY ADJUSTED TO MY NEW WAY OF LIFE BUT NOT GOING TO SETTLE I WILL KEEP GOING AS HARD AS I CAN. I TOOK THE GIRLS FOR A WALK TO THE PARK LAST WEEK BY MYSELF IT WAS QUITE THE STRUGGLE BUT THE GIRLS HAD FUN AND WE MADE IT WE HAD GREAT NAPS WHEN WE GOT HOME LILLI HELD ELLAS HAND AND I WALKED BEHIND THEM WITH OUR SNACKS MY BEAUTIFUL GIRLS ARE TRULY WHAT KEEPS ME GOING. ALBERT ALSO TOOK ME TO GET MY HAIR DONE WHICH I LOVED SHE STRAIGHTENED OUT MY CURLS AND I ACTUALLY FELT GOOD. ALBERT WAS SO HAPPY HE SAID I LOOKED LIKE THE OLD ME LILLI WAS UPSET BECAUSE SHE WANTS MOM TO HAVE CURLS LIKE HER I PROMISED HER THAT AS SOON AS MOM GOT IT WET THE CURLS WOULD BE RIGHT BACK AND SURE ENOUGH THEY WERE AND SHE WAS CONTENT AGAIN THE SWEET GIRL THAT DID MY HAIR SAID I COULD STOP IN ANY TIME AND SHE WOULD STYLE IT FOR ME IF I WANTED. I TOOK HER UP ON IT SO I COULD GO TO A PLAY AT TUCAHN THEATER AND FEEL CUTE I LOVE IT I ACTUALLY HAVE HAIR NOW WHICH IS SO NICE I DIDN'T PULL OFF THE BUZZED HEAD LOOK VERY WELL. SO LIFE GOES ON AND I GET STRONGER EVERY DAY I FEEL OVERWHELMING GRATITUDE TO ALL THAT HAVE HELPED ME THROUGH THIS PAST YEAR AND THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM
GOD BLESS AND LOVE TO YOU ALL! I'M MAKING IT A GOAL TO GET A COMPUTER SOON AND JOIN THE REST OF THE WORLD WITH E-MAIL AND SUCH. THAT WILL BE SO NEAT.

Then and Now...

2009-09-14T21:43:00.000-07:00

The top photo was taken last October (I'm guessing). . .walking was a very tenuous ordeal. As you can see she has a belt around her waist and a therapist anchoring her. We were so thrilled when she could take a few steps.

The photo below was taken at her 28th birthday party last Saturday. Doesn't she look beautiful!!! Congratulations Tami ! You are an inspiration!

TAHDAH! IT'S TAMI

2009-09-14T12:25:00.000-07:00

HELLO I JUST GOT DONE WITH MY FIRST DRIVING EVALUATION MY HOMEWORK IS TO PRACTICE ON SOME AT V'S OR GO TO THE FUN CENTER FOR GO CARTS. THAT'S THE BEST HOMEWORK SO FAR. FRIENDS FAMILY AND STRANGERSI HAVE MADE IT ONE WHOLE YEAR AND I AM STILL SMILLING! ! THAT'S PRETTY GREAT I THINK I WAS SO VERY LUCKY AND GOT TO HAVE MY 28TH BIRTHDAY ON SATURDAY WITH OUR CLOSE FAMILY HERE IN ST. GEORGE NOT IN A HOSPITAL THIS YEAR IT WAS WONDERFUL START TO FINISH TERESA DROVE DOWN FRIDAY NIGHT SO SHE AND I STARTED THE DAY OFF WITH A MASSAGE AT MASSAGE ENVY THEN WE CAME HOME AND ALBERT WAS COOKING MY POT ROAST BIRTHDAY DINNER AND TERESA STARTED CLEANING MY HOUSE TALK ABOUT QUEEN STATUS FOR ME MY BEAUTIFUL GIRLS PLAYED WITH MY BALLOONS AND WE WAITED FOR THE PARTY TO START KNOWING THAT JUST A YEAR AGO I WAS FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE SURE MADE IT EASY TO KNOW THAT I AM THE LUCKIEST GIRL AROUND! . OF COARSE I STILL HAVE HARD DAYS BUT I WOULD HAVE TO SAY MY LIFE IS INCREDIBLE! I CAN'T WAIT TO TURN 30 IMAGINE THE PROGRESS BY THEN THIS WILL ALL JUST BE A CRAZY STORY. THANKS SO MUCH TO ALL THE AMAZING PEOPLE THAT HAVE HELPED US THIS LAST YEAR BECAUSE IT SURE HAS TAKEN A LARGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE TO KEEP OUR FAMILY A FLOAT I REALLY WISH I HAD A BETTER WORD THAN THANKS IT JUST FEELS TO SMALL FOR WHAT I REALLY MEAN THIS HAS BEEN QUITE THE JOURNEY ONE I DON'T WISH TO REPEAT EVER WE HAVE SOME NEW PICTURES THAT I'M HOPING WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET ON HERE SO PEOPLE CAN TRULY SEE THE DIFFERANCE.
GOD BLESS ALL and please know i'm the last person to get a computer so i don't have e-mail or facebook so if anyone would like to speak with me feel free to call or text my phone the old fashioned way some day i might get the internet when its as cool as a.m. radio
LOVE TO ALL LIFE IS GRAND

TAMI IS BACK AUGUST 30TH

2009-08-30T12:41:00.000-07:00

WELL HELLO FRIENDS AND FAMILY I FINALLY MADE IT TO A COMPUTER I . HAVE TO ADD TO TERESA 'S ENTRY SHE DID MORE THAN JUST VISIT SHE MADE MY LIFE SO AMAZINGLY EASY WHILE SHE WAS THERE I COULD SLEEP WHEN TIRED AND NOT WORRY ABOUT THE GIRLS AT ALL SHE DID ALL MY HOUSE CHORES AND DROVE ME EVERYWHERE I NEEDED TO GO AS ALWAYS SHE IS SUCH A GIFT TO ME AND MY DAUGHTERS THEY JUST ADORE TERESA OF COURSE,I REALLY COULD APPRICIATE HER SINCE I HAD BEEN ON MY OWN FOR THE SUMMER I WANTED TO CRY WHEN SHE HAD TO GO. IT HAS BEEN VERY DIFICULT ON MY OWN WITH MY LOVELY GIRLS AND TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF THEM AND MYSELF BUT I FULLY ADMIT THE HOUSE WORK JUST DOESN'T GET DONE IT WILL ALWAYS WAIT FOR ME IT IS ON THE BOTTOM OF THE PRYORITY LIST I CONTINUE TO GET BETTER AND STRONGER EACH WEEK AND I THINK I HAVE ACCEPTED MY NEW LIFE NOW MUCH BETTER THAN I COULD IN THE BEGINING I WOULD RATHER IT BE BACK TO NORMAL BUT IM OK WITH IT A LITTLE MORE EACH DAY WHICH MAKES FOR LESS TEARS AND FRUSTRATION MY LEFT ARM IS STILL MY SAD HAND AS LILLI CALLS IT THERE ISN'T A TASK I DO THAT I DON'T WISH IT WOULD WORK FOR ME I HAVE COME SO FAR WITH IT I CAN MOVE IT QUITE A BIT JUST NOTHING THAT IS HELPFUL YET I STILL HAVE FULL FAITH THAT I WILL GET IT BACK I WONT STOP TILL I DO

I AM SO GLAD I GOT TO PUT AN ENTRY IN SINCE NEXT WEEKEND MARKS MY ONE YEAR MARK IT IS AMAZING TO ME HOW FAR I HAVE COME BASICALLY I YEAR AGO THE MOST I COULD DO ON MY OWN WAS SPEAK AND MAYBE HOLD MY HEAD UP FOR TEN MINUTES OR SO I REMEMBER I COULDN'T EVEN GET MY EYES TO LOOK THE SAME WAYI HAD PEOPLE DOING EVERYTHING ELSE FOR ME LITERALLY I HAD A FEEDING TUBE NURSES AND TERESA BATHING ME AND DRESSING ME SADLY EVEN CHANGING ME I THINK THAT WAS THE WORST MOST HUMILIATING THING FOR ME I GET TEARS JUST THINKING OF IT AND NOW I'M NOT ONLY ON MY OWN BUT TAKING CARE OF MY ANGELS THE WAY TERESA HAD TO TAKE CARE OF ME I'M NOT RUNNING OR DRIVING YET BUT IM HAPPY AND KICKING ASS AND I GET TO TURN 28 NEXT MONTH AND BE PROUD OF MYSELF EVERYDAY IT HAS BEEN A VERY HARD YEAR! AND IT WILL ONLY GET BETTER THANKS TO ALL THOSE THAT STILL HELP ME WITH RIDES AND BABYSITTING MY GIRLS FOR MOMS APPOINTMENTS I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS LOVED I JUST HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH TILL THIS LAST YEAR IT HAS TRULY BROUGHT OUT THE BEST IN SO MANY PEOPLE MY NEWEST GOAL WILL BE TO TAKE A DRIVING TEST AND HOPEFULLY GET MY FREEDOM BACK WITH THAT AND THEN I WANT TO BE ABLE TO CLAP AND GET ALL OF MY FORMAL SELF BACK MY LIFE LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER THAN IT DID ONE SMALL YEAR AGO.
THANK YOU TO ALL FOR HELP AND PRAYERS GOD BLESS LOVE TAMI AND FAMILY

Aug. 3, 2009

2009-08-03T10:15:00.000-07:00

From Teresa... I had a few days off in a row and a dear co-worker picked up my Sunday shift, so I drove to St. George after work last Wednesday. I arrived at 9:00 pm. The little girls were already asleep, so I had to wait 'till morning to play with them. Doesn't EVERY grandma think her grandchildren are the sweetest, neatest, most wonderful things on the Planet! I DO! Anyway... we had fun!

On Thurs. we met Grandma Ann at the Olive Garden for lunch and then we went to Tami's bio-feedback apt. She's improving nicely in the last 6 weeks. The machine beeps each time she manages to move the muscle hard enough to reach the line that is set. When it beeped the girls would say "Good job mama!!! You did it!!! Yeah!!" It was so cute. She had her own cheering section. Thurs. evening Tami and Albert went to the movies and dinner while I got some quality time with my " angel babies."

Friday we took Tami to her apt. with her counselor. The girls and I explored and got lunch at the hospital cafeteria while she was busy.

Friday after work Albert went up to his Grandma Toni's to help her out at her farm and spent the weekend. His Aunt Becky and her girls stopped by Sat. night before they headed back to Calif. to visit Tami and the girls.

I tried to let Tami rest, and tried to do some things around the house that she might not get to for a while.

Lilli and I went to Mass Sat. night . Then on Sunday I took Tami and the girls to church at the Calvary Chapel. The girls wanted to wear their yellow "Belle" dresses. (from Beauty and the Beast). They looked so stinking cute! After church we went to Rick and Tracy's house and Aunt Tracy worked on Tami's hair color. Grandma Ann dropped by with great food and Uncle Rick inflated the huge water slide in the back yard. It was fun. Then it was time for me to head home again. Short but sweet. I told Lilli and Ella I would come back again when I get a few more days off in a row. More later, Teresa.

TAMI MADE IT TO A COMPUTER

2009-07-16T12:04:00.000-07:00

TAMI MADE IT TO A COMPUTER FINALLY HI THERE EVERYONE MY LIFE IS ROLLING ALONG I HAVE HAD A FEW NEW THINGS MY ARM IS GETTING MORE MOVEMENT EACH WEEK LAST WEEK WAS HUGE FOR ME WE DECIDED TO TRY THE HAND FLEXORS FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I COULD DO IT WITH RELATIVE EASE WE WERE SHOCKED I WAS SO EXCITED THAT IF YOUR ON MY TEXT LIST I SENT YOU A MESSAGE RIGHT AWAY! AS MOST OF YOU KNOW GOING BACK TO WORK WILL DEFINITELY NEED BOTH MY HANDS & THAT IS ONE OF MY BIGGEST GOALS SO TO BE ONE LITTLE MOVEMENT CLOSER TO THAT WAS AMAZING FOR ME . I STILL HAVE A VERY LONG JOURNEY TO GET THE REST OF MY ARM WORKING WITH MY BRAIN ONCE AGAIN BUT I WON'T STOP TILL I GET IT AND CAN GO BACK TO DOING WHAT I LOVE SO MUCH &THAT IS MASSAGETHERAPY & HELPING PEOPLE WITH THEIR HEALTH I CAN'T EVEN DREAM OF DOING ANYTHING ELSE FOR A JOB. SO THAT WAS BIG EVENT #1 SECOND WAS MOSTLY FOR ME BUT IMPORTANT ALL THE SAME SUNDAY WE WENT TO ALBERT'S GRANDMA TONI'S HOUSE FOR THE DAY & OF COURSE WE GOT TIRED SO ELLA &I WENT TO LIE DOWN NO BIG DEAL BUT ELLA ACTUALLY CURLED UP ON ME AND SLEPT WITH ME & I WOKE UP WITH HER & THANKED MY GOD BECAUSE SHE HASN'T SNUGGLED WITH ME SINCE THE STROKE AND THAT TURNED OUT TO BE THE MOST HEALING NAP I'VE HAD SINCE LAST AUGUST. WHEN I HAD TO LEAVE MY ELLA WAS JUST A BABY &WHEN I CAME HOME SHE WAS GROWN &TALKING AND NOT TO FOND OF ME AND THAT HAS BEEN SO HARD FOR ME I DESPERATELY MISS MY LITTLE BABY I HAD ONLY STOPPED NURSING HER WEEKS BEFORE MY STROKE HAPPENED SO IT WAS HUGE FOR ME TO FEEL A BIT OF A BOND WITH HER AGAIN.I KNOW IT WILL ONLY GET BETTER FOR ME AND MY FAMILY BUT IT IS STILL VERY HARD EVERY DAY AND THE RIPPLE EFFECT FROM THIS HAS BEEN ENORMOUS, MY GIRLS CONTINUE TO MOTIVATE ME AND GET ME THROUGH JUST THIS MORNING LILLI SAID TO ME MOM YOU USED TO HAVE A BRAIN BUT IT BROKE AND YOU HAD TO GET SHOTS HUH? SHE CRACKS ME UP SHE HAD HEARD SOMETHING ON TV ABOUT A BRAIN. WE ARE ON OUR WAY TO MY BIO FEEDBACK APT. NEXT I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT MUSCLE I CAN GET WORKING TODAY!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL LOVE, TAMI & FAMILY.

NOTE FROM ALBERT'S FAMILY

2009-07-02T20:03:00.000-07:00

(This is Grandma Ann. . .I asked Aunt Vi to write a note about the yard sale. Albert's family is just amazing and they worked SO hard and do so many things to help. I am so glad she was willing to contribute to this blog. Thanks Aunt Vi!)

The gang in St. George area got together to get a huge yard sale going. We had it 2 weeks ago on Friday and Saturday. Monica, her Mom Toni and Aunt Vi were there selling a variety of items on Friday.

Saturday we had more things to put out - 2 sewing machines, 2 tvs (really nice ones). Monica's friends at Smith's market donated and helped. Vi's neighbor donated a couch and chair. Another gave other items which were all sold.

It was a labor of love for Tami. Monica's husband Daivd and married son David helped in moving the heavy items. We finished Saturday about 4pm.

Our total amount made was over $1,000. Thanks to Karen, Tracey and friends at Smith's for donating and helping. In times like this we know money is tight and time is valuable.

Thanks to all who helped a worthy cause for our loving Tami, Albert and family.

HI FROM TAMI REALITY CHECK!!

2009-06-30T09:37:00.000-07:00

HELLO FRIENDS &FAMILY I FINALLY GOT TO A COMPUTER. AS YOU MOST KNOW I AM LIVING WITHOUT TERESA NOW WHAT A WAKE UP CALL TODAY MY DEAR FRIEND ANDREA TOOK ME TO GET MY!BLOOD CHECKED AND THEN LET ME USE HER COMPUTER SHE IS SO NICE SHE TAKES ME AND THE GIRLS AND THIS MORNING SHE EVEN FIXED THEIR HAIR TOO I AM SO VERY BLESSSED TO HAVE SO MANY HELPERS TERESA SURE DID A LOT IT TAKES ABOUT 6 PEOPLE TO FILL HER PLACE WE LOVE AND MISS HER THE GIRLS ADJUSTED BETTER THAN THE ADULTS AT HAVING HER GONE FOR US ALL. WE ARE HANGING IN BUT IT SURE IS HARD I'M ALWAYS TIRED BUT THAT'S NOTHING NEW THE GIRLS ARE LEARNING TO HELP MOM A BUNCH I HAVE HAD MORE THAN A FEW DAYS OF DESPARE WHERE THERE WOULDN'T BE ANYTHING NICE TO WRITE ABOUT BUT LIFE GOES ON I HAVE TO CONSTANTLY REMIND MYSELF HOW FAR I'VE COME &TO NOT SCREAM OUT LOUD SOO MANY WONDERFUL SOULS HAVE PITCHED IN TO HELP ME ALBERT'S FAMILY WAS AMAZING &DID A FUND RAISING YARDSALE TO HELP OUR LITTLE FAMILY THEY SPENT TWO VERY HOT DAYS & DID AWESOME!! THANK YOU SO MUCH MONICA GRANDMA TONI AUNTIE VI JESSICA KAREN AND THE KIND PEOPLE THAT DONATED UNCLE BILL AUNT LUPE GRANDMA HERNANDEZ THEY HAVE ALL BEEN SO INCREDIBLE AND ALWAYS THERE FOR US WE ALSO GOT TO GO TO LAS VEGAS TO MEET COUSIN ANNA'S BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER GRACE &SEE EVEN MORE FAMILY COUSIN BILLY &HIS GREAT FAMILY AND WE MET HIS DAUGHTER LAYLA FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE ELLA
THANKS TO ALL MY ANGEL'S GOD BLESS & MY BLOOD IS PERFECT FOR ANYONE THAT CARES I WILL WRITE AGAIN IN A FEW WEEKS

LOVE TAMI &FAMILY.

REMEMBER THERE IS NO GRAMAR CHECK ON THIS ONE TERESA IS GONE.

June 26th 2009

2009-06-26T14:31:00.000-07:00

From Teresa.. Hi, the wedding went well and Tami and family headed back to sunny (hotter than you know What!) St. George. I'm happy to be up north in the cooler climate. I miss my girls and they miss me, but life goes on. Tami got her new glasses, and says she likes them. Hopefully they stay in place and she doesn't have to tilt her head up to see out of them. The daughter of a friend has come over a few times to help out during the day so Tami can get a nap or just to help out. Tami said she did real well at her bio-feedback apt. yesterday. She was able to do quite a bit more with a muscle that wasn't doing much the week before. Her blood work was right on last week, so she will go two weeks between checks, and the cumidin dose stays the same. Her friend Andrea is taking her for blood checks , counseling apts., trips to the park, and if she needs anything from the store during the day. Grandma Ann took her to the monthly stroke support group meeting. Thank goodness for willing family and friends.

I'm on full-time at Lowe's in Vernal and happy to be back among the paycheck earning crowd again. I love my job. I work with a really great group of people. I worry about Tami and the girls, but I try to stay busy so I don't dwell on it. I have faith that God will watch over them and they as a family will figure things out that will work for them. More later, Teresa.

Thursday June 4,2009

2009-06-04T15:12:00.000-07:00

From Teresa.....Hard to believe it's been two weeks since I've updated this blog! I drove to Vernal and worked and now tomorrow I'm on my way to do it again for Sat. and Sun. Today I took Lilli and Ella in for their Well-child check-ups and immunizations. They weren't too pleased with the shots, but the stickers, suckers, shinny band aids, and treasure chest they got to choose out of , made it a little more tolerable. They are both healthy and on track for their ages. Then we took Tami to get new glasses. The good news was the doctor only found a little bit of peripheral vision loss. It looks like her brain is rerouting or healing since the last check in November. I choked at the price of glasses, but I understand that's the norm. We did get the extra warranty to replace frames or lenses if anything unexpected happens to them. (Little fingers trying to "Help Mom" with them.) The bright sunlight makes it harder for Tami to see, so she got the "transition" lenses in them. We had tried to save money last time by using the frames from an old pair of glasses. They were fragile and couldn't be tightened too much. As a result they keep sliding down her nose and she tilts her head back to see. That has to make her neck sore. So hopefully these will be better.

Ella turned 2 on May 29th. She is a little echo of everyone in the house.She repeats everything she hears. She got a set of 4 "glass slippers." Lilli was very happy that there were enough to share. They have been clomping around the house in them ever since! On Sat. there was a big party with family and friends. It turned out nice.

Next weekend we are all going up to Vernal for my nephew Chad's wedding, and I plan on staying there. Albert, Tami and the girls will come home to manage without me. I've been trying to line up ways for Tami to get blood work checked and other things done. She's getting better slowly but surely. More later...Teresa.

Wed. May 20th 2009

2009-05-20T16:26:00.000-07:00

From Teresa... Hey! Brother Clayton, HAPPY 45th Birthday tomorrow. (May 21st) Like I tell Tami, "If you SURVIVED it, CELEBRATE it!" Anyway, have a great one! I plan to drive up to Vernal on Friday so I can work at Lowe's on Sat. and Sun. and drive back to St. George on Monday. (That way I can stay employed and keep my insurance going.) Lowe's has really been good to work with me since all this happened to Tami. I'm hoping to move back up there by mid-June. Tami is down to one therapy on her arm a week and blood checks every two weeks. She has an apt. with the neuropsychologist every other week and stroke support group once a month. She's come a long way in 9 months. I will really miss my little "Angel Princesses" , but I'm looking foreword to getting back to my other life. I worked in Vernal over Mother's Day weekend and all my old co-workers were so welcoming and kind, it felt like home. It was good to be back in the workforce again. (although it's been so long that I've forgotten how to do some stuff and had to ask questions.) I'm also out of shape and need to build back up my endurance for being on my feet all day on concrete floors. I love helping the customers again! Anyway...

Tami has blood work , support group, and bio-feedback therapy tomorrow, busy day. We are plodding along. Have a great Memorial weekend everyone. More later, Teresa.

TAMI'S BACK IN SUNNY ST.GEORGETHERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!

2009-05-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

OUR ADVENTURE TO VERNAL WAS FUN . SEEING TRAVIS AND THE KIDS WAS THE BEST! HIS KIDS ARE BEAUTIFUL AND SO SWEET, I COULD HAVE PLAYED WITH THEM FOR DAYS ! I AM VERY HAPPY TO BE HOME WITH MY OWN WONDERFUL GIRLS . TERESA'S FAMILY CAME FOR HER BIRTHDAY AND WE WENT TO JUMPING JACKS, A BOUNCE HOUSE PLACE WHERE I USED TO TAKE THE GIRLS A LOT. IT'S ALL PADDED SO I FIGURED IF I FELL I WOULD BE SAFE. IT WAS REALLY HARD TO NOT BE ABLE TO PLAY LIKE I USED TO, BUT I WAS VERY PROUD WHEN I DID MAKE IT UP ONE SLIDE . IT WAS A TON HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. I KNEW I ONLY HAD ONE ARM TO CLIMB WITH BUT DIDN'T REALIZE HOW LAME MY LEFT LEG STILL IS . THE ANKLE DOESN'T MOVE AND I CAN'T CONTROL THE KNEE VERY MUCH AT ALL, SO THAT REALLY MADE CLIMBING HARD. BUT LIKE I SAID I DID MAKE IT UP ONE SLIDE . MY LITTLE ELLA WENT UP EVERY ONE! SHE IS SO STINKING TOUGH! SHE LOOKED LIKE SUCH A BABY ON THOSE BIG SLIDES. FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT KNEW MY UNCLE BRETT YOU ARE SO LUCKY! AFTER WE LEFT, I KEPT THINKING HOW HE NEVER LET ANYTHING SLOW HIM DOWN, EVEN WHEN HE WAS VERY SLOW, HE COULD HAVE MADE IT UP EVERY SLIDE I'M SURE . I DEFINITELY HAVE A BIGGER FEAR FACTOR THEN HE DID. YOU WON'T FIND ME ON ANY HORSES OR BOATS ANY TIME SOON. NO MATTER HOW MUCH DUCT TAPE THERE IS! MY GRANDPA DAVE WAS HERE AND HE IS 76 YEARS YOUNG & I HAD TO LAUGH BECAUSE HE & I HAVE MORE IN COMMON NOW THAN EVER BEFORE . IT WAS A REALLY FUN BIRTHDAY FOR TERESA AND THE REST OF US, TERESA HELPED HAUL EACH GIRL UP EVERY SLIDE AND THEN TOOK THEM SWIMMING AT THE HOTEL. WE ARE SO LUCKY TO HAVE HER! THE GIRLS SEEM SO LOST WHEN SHE ISN'T AROUND. THEY COULD CARE LESS WHAT MOM'S DOING. IT'S WHERE IS GRAMMA TERESA OR DAD? THEY KNOW WHERE THE FUN IS. I DID GET TO SPEND THE WHOLE DAY MONDAY WITH THEM, WHILE TERESA WAS GONE & ALBERT WAS WORKING. IT IS TRULY TRIAL & ERROR TO SEE WHAT I'M READY FOR, AND SADLY I'M NOT QUITE READY TO BE AN AT HOME MOM AGAIN YET. I GET TIRED WAY TOO FAST, AND I'M QUITE BORING MOST THE TIME , BUT WE DID MANAGE WITH NO HARM . THEY WERE BOTH SICK AND BY 4PM ALL THREE OF US WERE IN TEARS , SO WE HAD TO CALL DAD TO RESCUE US. I HAVE A VERY LONG HARD ROAD TO GO BEFORE I CAN HANDLE MY OLD LIFE, BUT TIME WILL TELL, AND I HAVE MADE IT FAR. I'M GOING TO KEEP CREEPING ALONG TILL THIS IS ALL JUST A MEMORY. STILL SO MANY THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT CONTINUES TO PRAY & HELP US. WE ARE SO BLESSED LOVE TO ALL TAMI & FAMILY.

Mon. May 4, 2009

2009-05-04T16:51:00.000-07:00

From Teresa... We had a nice little jaunt to Vernal, then Grand Junction. It was great to see family again. It had been 8 months since I had been in Vernal. ( The calendar on the wall of my old room was still on Aug. 2008, with my belly dancing schedule still marked down on it.) Wow !So much has happened since then! Travis and family are doing well and it was great to see them and play with those beautiful babies! Maggie is growing up so fast and can read books to grandma. Giacomo is a darling dimpled faced little bundle of fun. Tami had him just giggling and rolling around in her lap. She loved it! Of course the trip was too fast, but we take what we can get.

My sister Liz flies into Las Vegas today and will catch a shuttle to St. George and stay until Thurs. morning. My mom and dad are driving down from Vernal tomorrow and will stay with Liz in her hotel room. They will go home Thurs. too. It will be fun to have them here.

Tami is done with the rehab that the insurance will pay for. We will continue to go to the bio-feedback therapy once a week as long as she continues to make progress. The neurologist apt. went well. He was pleased with her improvements since he saw her last in Jan. She doesn't go back to him for 6 more months. We checked her blood today and it was a little thick, so we need to increase the cumidin and check it again on Thursday. And so it goes..... Anyway, more later....Teresa.

TAMI HERE AGAIN HAVIN ACCESS TO A COMPUTER IS FUN.

2009-04-26T09:17:00.000-07:00

HI AGAIN SOMEDAY I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO JOIN THE CROWD AND GET A COMPUTER. IT'S FUN TO GET ON WITHOUT HAVING TO GO TO THE LIBRARY I AM AT THE RANCH AND EVERY ONE WENT TO CHURCH THEN WE ARE HEADED TO GRAND JUNCTION IT HAS BEEN FUN, BUT I REALLY MISS MY GIRLS AND THE COMFORTS OF MY OWN HOME, AT LEAST I ACTUALLY GOT DRESSED AND SHOWERED TODAY. I SPENT YESTERDAY IN PJ'S ALL DAY IT WAS GREAT!THE RANCH RULE IS THAT YOU CAN BE LAZY IF YOU WANT TO. IT MIGHT NOT BE A RULE BUT IT'S HOW I LIKE IT. BEING CLEAN HERE IS OVER RATED. WE WILL STAY AT BETH AND PAUL'S TONIGHT FOR LACK OF STAIRS. I WENT UP AND DOWN ONCE TODAY AND THAT WAS ENOUGH FOR ME IT IS A LOT HARDER FOR ME IF THERE ISN'T A RAIL TO HOLD ON TO. LIFE IS GOOD SLEEP IS BETTERI'M HAPPY TO SEE TRAVIS AND HIS KIDS TODAY HOPEFULLY IT WILL BE NICE WEATHER MY DAUGHTERS HAD BREAKFAST ON THE DECK THIS MORNING. I LOVE LIVING IN ST. GEORGE. DON'T KNOW WHY ANYONE WOULD LIVE ELSEWHERE. LOVE TO ALL AND GOD BLESS THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR COMMENTS AND PRAYERS THEY ARE APPRECIATED. LOVE TAMI AND FAMILY I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO MY GIRLS. BUT THEY JUST WANT TO KNOW WHERE GRANDMA TERESA IS. I KNOW WHERE I RANK NAH THEY LOVE ME TOO THEY JUST REALLY LOVE THEIR GRANDMA TOO.WHO COULD BLAME THEM? TIME FOR ME TO GET A COAT ON . I AM COVERED IN GOOSE BUMPS. I WILL VISUALIZE A BEAUTIFUL BEACH AND WARM SUN COOKING MY PALE SKIN. EVERYONE HAVE A GREAT DAY. I WILL WRITE MORE FROM HOME.

TAMI HEREFROM VERNAL

2009-04-25T08:36:00.000-07:00

HI THERE WE MADE IT TO VERNAL AND IT'S NOT THAT COLD YIPPEE FOR US TERESA IS OUT WITH HER MOM SO ONCE AGAIN NO SUPERVISION THE SILENCE IS REALLY NICE, FOR ALL THAT KNOW MY FABULOUS TERESA SHE HAS A HARD TIME WITH SILENCE I TOLD EVERYONE THAT I WAS HAPPY TO HANG OUT WITH GRANDPA DAVE TODAY SO I COULD GET IN A FEW NAPS TODAY I AM NOW THE CELL PHONE BATTERY THAT JUST WON'T HOLD A CHARGE I'M ALWAYS TIRED SO MAYBE BY TOMORROW I WILL MAKE THE ROUNDS AND SAY HI TO ALL THE FUN FAMILY OF COARSE I MISS MY GIRLS ALREADY I THINK I MISSED THEM BEFORE I EVEN LEFT, MY LILLI CALLED ME LAST NIGHT TO SAY GOODNIGHT & SHE ASKED ME TO COME SLEEP IN MY OWN BED I TOLD HER MOM WAS HAVING A SLEEP OVER WITH GRANDMA & GRANDPA FOR A FEW DAYS SHE WAS HAPPY BECAUSE DAD WAS LETTING HER SLEEP IN HER SNOW WHITE DRESS WHICH MOM DOESN'T USUALLY LET HER DO OOHH THE LIFE OF A 3YEAR OLD PRINCESS IT HAS BEEN FUN MY UNCLE PAUL &HIS FAMILY ARE HERE TOO HE HAS ALREADY GOT ME LAUGHING SO HARD A FEW TIMES HE WORKS WITH REHAB SO HE KNOW S FIRST HAND THE BULL CRAP I GET TO DO TO GET BETTER IF ONLY MY THERAPIST HAD HIS SENSE OF HUMOR I WOULD NEVER GET ANY WORK DONE WE WOULD PROBABLY JUST B.S. THE WHOLE TIME. THAT WOULD BE MORE FUN FOR SURE. LIFE IN VERNAL HAS ALWAYS BEEN SLOWER NOW I KEEP UP MUCH BETTER WITH THAT PACE. IT WILL BE A FUN WEEKEND.

TAMI'S BACKWITH PERFECT BLOOD TODAY YIPPEE.

2009-04-20T13:06:00.000-07:00

HI YALL I HAV'NT BEEN TO A COMPUTER FOR AWHILE SO I HAV'NT WRITTEN ANYTHING JUST WHEN I GET MARC CHECKING IT REGULARLY TO SEE WHAT I SAY AND THEN I QUIT SAYING ANYTHING. WELL I AM STILL AROUND AND WORKING ON GETTING BETTER EACH DAY. I WOKE UP ON THE WRONG SIDE THIS MORNING AND WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY I WAS BEING LIKE HOSKEY THE GROUCH AS LILLI CALLS HIM THEN I REALIZED I AM JUST SO SICK OF BEING WITH MYSELF & IT WAS COMING OUT IN LACK OF PATIENCE AND A GRUMPY ATTITUDE. I AM SO READY TO BE THROUGH WITH ALL OF THIS MOUNTAIN CLIMBING, SERIOUSLY I WANT TO BE THE OLD TAMI SO BAD I COULD SCREAM IF I DIDN'T LOOK LIKE A CRAZY LADY HAVING A TANTRUM. SO TERESA HAS BRIBED ME WITH A CHANCE TO SEE MY BROTHER TRAVIS IF I GO TO COLD COLD VERNAL WITH HER THIS WEEKEND. I TRY TO REMIND MYSELF THAT SHE LOVES ME LIKE I LOVE MY DAUGHTERS & THAT MAYBE SHE DOESN'T MIND BEING WITH ME. BUT REALLY IF YOU JUST SPENT THE LAST 8 MONTHS TAKING CARE OF SOMEONE WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO TAKE THEM ON A ROAD TRIP WITH YOU TOO?SHE HAS GOT TO BE SICK OF ME MAYBE SHE IS GONNA TRY TO PAWN ME OFF ON SOMEONE ALONG THE WAY WOULDN'T BLAME HER. I AM SO SICK OF ME IF I COULD DROP ME OFF I WOULD IN A SECOND! MOMS ARE PRICELESS. SO HOPEFULLY I WILL GET TO SEE MY BROTHER & VERNAL FAMILY THIS NEXT WEEK THAT WILL BE FUN! I HAD TRAVIS SEND ME A PICTURE THAT HE HAD TAKEN OF ME WHEN I WAS IN ICU HOLY SCARY GLAD I DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF THAT! SO SORRY MY FAMILY THAT SAW ME LIKE THAT NOW I KNOW WHY I SCARRED YOU ALL SO BAD. I WAS THINKING IT WAS ALL NO BIG DEAL SO I GOT SOME NEW SCAR RS I CAN HANDLE THAT BUT FOR THOSE THAT HAD TO WATCH ME GET THEM I 'M SORRY LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. I AM TRULY BLESSED! I THINK WE ARE GOING TO STOP BY THE HOSPITAL ON OUR WAY NORTH AND THANK THE STAFF FOR SAVING MY LIFE I WANT TO WALK IN AND SHOW OFF MY HALF INCH OF NEW HAIR AND MY SLOW WOBBLY WALK.WE HAD A FUN WEEKEND GETTING TO SEE SOME FAMILY THAT CAME DOWN FOR ANN'S BIRTHDAY MY GIRLS THOUGHT BRETT'S BOY MERRICK WAS AUNT RILEY THAT WAS CUTE. HOPE EVERYONE IS HEALTHY AND HAPPY WE'LL SEE SOME OF YOU SOON. GOD BLESS ALLALBERT IS QUITE THE TRROOPER WE OFFERED TO TAKE THE GIRLS WITH US THIS WEEKEND BUT HE WANTS TO TAKE THEM CAMPING INSTEAD. HE ADORES THEM NO WONDER THEY THINK DADDY IS PRINCE CHARMING HE GIVES THEM THE WORLD WHAT GIRL WOULDN'T WANT A MAN THAT DOES EVERY THING TO MAKE THEM HAPPY.SO I GET A MOMMY DAUGHTER WEEKEND & THEY GET A DADDY DAUGHTER WEEKEND WE ALL WIN.
LOVE TAMI

Grateful Heart

2009-04-18T17:57:00.000-07:00

Just a note from Grandma Ann. . .It has been such a fun couple of weeks with lots of our Utah Valley family around.

It is almost unbelievable to see Tami and realize it hasn't been quite 8 months since the stroke (in some ways, it seems like 'forever ago.') She is stronger and looking more like her (beautiful) self every day. Kudos to Tami, Albert and Teresa for hanging in there!!!! She has made great strides in her recovery but there are no EASY days. Albert's family continues to be amazing and supportive. God Bless them! We are optimistic about the new therapy (bio-feedback).

Yesterday I looked out on the patio and saw Albert and Tami sitting on a settee, Ella was on Albert's lap and Lilli was at Tami's knee. They were smiling and talking with others nearby. It was a moment of tremendous gratitude for me. As always, I am mindful of and grateful for the prayers and support of so many. Thanks to ALL!!!!

Thurs. April 16th 2009

2009-04-16T16:35:00.000-07:00

From Teresa... Hi! First off, Happy Birthday, sister Dolores, today, and Grandma Ann tomorrow the 17 th. If you survived another year, CELEBRATE it! We love you both!

We had a really nice Easter. The girls woke about 8 am to see the surprises the Easter Bunny left them. Then I went to the 9 am Mass, which was packed, even thirty minutes early, with T.C.E. Catholics. (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.) Then I took Tami to the 11 am non-denominational Easter service out at Tuacahn, in the Snow Canyon area. It was a fantastic place to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus. It had rained the day before, but was beautiful on Sunday. There were about a thousand people there, both at the 8 am sunrise service, and the one we attended. I had done a "reconnaissance" trip on Sat. to learn the route, how much time I needed to get there, where to park, the walking layout, and handicap availability. It was organized very well. They had volunteers lined up with wheelchairs to assist those that needed them. I was able to drop Tami off at the entrance, go park, and meet her at the top. They also gave her a free ride back down. They had a band with great music, and a minister with an inspirational message. It was memorable! I guess they do a Christmas eve one too. (For ten years now.) This was only the second year for the Easter service. It was put on by the Calvery Chapel congregation. After the service we went to the park to hang with Albert's relatives and later that day over to Grandma Ann's to hang with the Richardson side. It was a nice day.

We had therapies on Monday, but by that night, Tami and I both weren't feeling well, so I cancelled Tues. stuff. We took it easy and both felt better by Wednesday. Her blood was too thin again yesterday, so we cut back the cumidin dosage and check again next Monday. Anyway... more later...Teresa.

Mon. April 6th

2009-04-06T16:46:00.000-07:00

From Teresa...Tami's physical therapist had her walking on the treadmill again and had it up to 1.5 mph for about 20 min.( last time she only did 1 mph and about 5 min.). The speech therapist said she did great with the work on a checkbook register and is doing well in her cognitive tasks. The occupational therapist had her laying on her back and trying to hold a ball above her head, between her two hands, steady, without dropping it. (she managed 5 seconds the first try and then 65 seconds at the end). Her counselor recommended that she wait at least 6 months before she tries to go camping again. The over-stimulation is hard on her brain. ( It puts a strain on her system). The bio-feedback therapy shows improvement each week. Each time Tami makes the mountain peaks reach a certain level consistently for a while, Steve raises the bar. The muscles should come back first in her shoulder, then down her arm, then in her hand.

Albert took the girls up to his grandma Toni's for the weekend and Tami started a book Friday night and had it finished by Sat. night.( about 600 pages). I'm happy to see that she still enjoys reading. It's a nice escape for her. I'm trying to have her do more for herself and her girls so I can see what she's capable of and what she still needs help with. Yesterday she vacuumed the house (and didn't fall over, yeah!) It wore her out , but I could tell she was proud to know she could do it. Well more later...Teresa.

LOOK OUT I'M BACK & UNSUPPERVISED BAD GRAMMER AWAY MY PUNCTUATION WATCHER IS AT CURVES.

2009-03-31T16:48:00.000-07:00

HI. IT'S TAMI AND NO TERESA TO DOUBLE CHECK WHAT I WRITE SO NOW YOU CAN ALL SEE HOW I'M REALLY DOING BECAUSE I WILL PROBABLY MESS UP A BIT. LILLI IS AT HER SECOND DAY OF SWIMMING LESSONS WITH HER DAD & TERESA DROPPED ME OFFAT THE LIBRARY SO SHE COULD WORK OUT.. WE JUST FINISHED THERAPY AND I AM STILL SHAKING. BUT MORE PROGRESS TODAY THANK GOOD NESS . I TOLD THEM THAT IF I STOP MAKING IMPROVEMENTS TO TELL ME SO I CAN DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH MY DAYS. TURNS OUT WE ONLY HAVE 3 MORE VISITS BEFORE INSURANCE DECIDES I'M DONE SO I REALLY HAVE TO KICK SOME BUTT. MY OWN MOSTLY. I STILL WISH I COULD GO TO DISNEY LAND BEFORE I LOSE MY HANDY CAP STICKER. SO I CAN JUMP THE LINES BUT I WOULD SURELY LIKE TO GET BETTER FIRST INSTEAD. I STILL HAVE LITTLE FINGER NAILS TO PAINT & HAIR TO BRAID ITHINK I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT THE MOSTI WANT TO BE MOM AGAIN AND HAVE NO WORRIES ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO PUT THEIR PRINCESS DRESSES ON WITH ONE HAND . MY GIRLS WENT CAMPING AGAIN WITH THEIR DAD & I HAPPILY STAYED HOME WITH TERESA AND PLUMBING I READ A BOOK AND DID MY TAXES SO THE STROKE DIDN'T TAKE AWAY MY WILD AND CRAZY SIDE I'M STILL JUST AS BORING AS EVER THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SWEET COMMENTS BETH, LOLO GREAT GRANDMA RITA &BECKYRMAGGIE AND GIACMY SWEET BROTHER TRAVIS .DEVRON BERNIECHELSEA AND TRISTINE &CHRIS& GREAT GRANDMA ANN LOVE YOU ALL. AND MARC EVEN SENT US A TEXT TODAY TO WATCH OPRAH WOW NEVER SAW THAT COMINGI'MAM PUBLISHING THIS WITHOUT TERESA CHECKING IT OVER THE INDEPENDANCE NEVER ENDS. I AM NOTICING THAT MY FAMILY HAS SOME ODD NAMES BECAUSE THE SPELL CHECK WANTS ME TO CHANGE THEM ALL.
LOVE TO ALL AND GOD BLESS.

TAMI'S BACKMARCHSATURDAY 28-2009

2009-03-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

HI THERE TO ALL! IT'S SATURDAY & ALBERT TOOK THE GIRLS CAMPING AGAIN WHILE I HAPPILY DECLINED THIS TIME. SO TERESA & I JUST DID MY TAXES AND HAD BREAKFAST AT VILLAGE INN. I HAD A FREE COUPON SO WE ARE IN OUR BUDGET. I AM MISSING MY BEAUTY QUEENS, BUT I ALMOST FINISHED A BOOK IN THE SILENCE . AS TERESA SAID IN THE LAST BLOG, I WAS GLAD I WENT LAST WEEK TO PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I CAN GO CAMPING, BY THE SECOND DAY I WAS REALLY TIRED AND TOO EASILY IRRITATED BY ALL THE NOISE. IT WAS FUN TO BE SURROUNDED BY MY WONDERFUL FAMILY . THEY REALLY ARE THE BEST! BUT I REALLY LIKE BEING AT HOME TOO. MY GIRLS AMAZE ME ALL THE TIME. LILLI ASKED ME THE OTHER DAY ''MOM WHEN YOUR SAD HAND IS BETTER, THEN YOU DON'T NEED YOUR MOM ANYMORE? THAT IF MY HAND GETS BETTER THEN I WONT NEED MY MOM RIGHT. SO SHE HAS PICKED UP ON OUR TALKS, OBVIOUSLY THEY WILL MISS GRAMMA TERESA NOT NEARLY AS MUCH AS GRANDMA WILL MISS THEM THOUGH. FOR SURE & WE KNOW WE CANT SEND GRAMMA HOME UNTIL THE SNOW MELTS IN VERNAL. BUT I AM SOOOOO READY TO BE OVER THIS MOUNTAIN IN OUR LIVES. I FIND MYSELF CHECKING OFF THE DAYS AS IF I WERE IN JAIL OR SOMETHING . I KNOW THAT EACH DAY DONE IS ONE CLOSER TO RECOVERING. THURSDAY WE HAD MY THERAPIES FOR MY HAND AND I HAD TWO NEW MOVEMENTS THAT I DIDN'T KNOW I COULD DO, SO THAT WAS VERY AWESOME FOR ME. I AM STILL SO DETERMINED, BUT I DO HAVE MY MOMENTS WHEN I START FEELING DEFEATED A LITTLE . NOTHING GOES AS FAST AS I WANT IT TO. MY GIRLS KEEP ME HAPPY AND I HAVE TO DO A LOT OF PRAYING , OR BEGGING DEPENDING ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT. THE OTHER NIGHT I DIDN'T TAKE MY USUAL SLEEPING PILLS AND WANTED TO SEE HOW IT WOULD GO. WELL I WAS AWAKE MOST THE NIGHT PLANNING HOW TO WRITE MY STORY. HOW ANNOYING THAT WAS! SO I WAS SURE TO TAKE THE PILLS THE NEXT DAY. I FIND MYSELF TRYING TO THINK OF WAYS TO EXPLAIN WHAT IT IS ALL LIKE ,THIS IS WHAT I CAME UP WITH. MY LIFE BEFORE WAS A HAPPY LITTLE SNOW GLOBE AND THEN A HAMMER HIT IT ON TOP AND EVERYONE TRIED TO HURRY AND COLLECT THE PIECES TO GLUE IT BACK TOGETHER. BUT WE JUST CAN'T GET IT PERFECT . IT WILL ALWAYS HAVE A CRACK IN IT NOW. THERE ISN'T A WAY TO EXPLAIN UNLESS YOU ARE IN IT & I DEFINITELY WOULDN'T WISH FOR ANYONE TO BE IN THIS. IT REALLY SUCKS DAY AFTER DAY ! THANK GOD I KNOW I CAN GET BETTER. IT'S ALL TEMPORARY. SO I KNOW I SHOULD WRITE IT ALL DOWN BECAUSE WITH LUCK AND BLOOD THINNERS I WILL BE OLD SOMEDAY AND MAYBE FORGET IT ALL. THAT COULD BE NICE. BUT I WOULD HATE TO HAVE TO LEARN THIS LESSON AGAIN. ONE DAY I'M HOPING TO EVEN FIGURE OUT WHAT MY LESSON IS THIS TIME AROUND , OTHER THAN HOW TO RELEARN MY BASIC MOTOR SKILLS AND LOTS OF PATIENCE.
GOD BLESS &TAKE CARE. LOVE TAMI

Wed. March 25th

2009-03-25T15:55:00.000-07:00

From Teresa... The stroke support group was good again this month. They're great about calling each other with encouragement and well wishes whenever needed. Two of the members were in the hospital last week and calls went out to let them know people cared. The discussion was good and helpful. This Thurs. there is a health fair and the support group has been asked to have a booth to let people know they exist. Tami and I will go over after therapies and put in a half hour or so at the booth.

Tami went camping with Albert and their girls Friday afternoon through Sunday noon. (It's the longest I've been away from Tami since Sept. 2nd.) I had a nice peaceful weekend. She was glad she tried it, but said it will be a few more weeks before she'll attempt it again. She likes her own soft bed only 10 feet from her own bathroom. Walking in the sand was like a weekend of physical therapy, and her cane sank in with every step. When her physical therapist asked her how it went, she said, " I stayed upright! So that was good!" I'm glad she tried it, and knows she can do it. Next time she'll take earplugs. She found all the noise too stimulating especially once she got tired. Anyway... you never know until you try. I played with my beads without any help from curious little hands, read my book, watched movies and got a few cleaning projects done while they were out. But surprisingly, I started missing the little munchkins after only one day! Go figure! Anyway... more later, Teresa.

Tues.March 17th

2009-03-17T15:03:00.000-07:00

From Teresa... Tami and I came to the library again, and I decided to see if the blog site would let both of us leave a message at the same time, (since we both are using Devron's password to get on,) so far so good. Well Happy St. Patrick's Day to you all. I tried to dress the little girls alike but Lilli has a mind of her own, so we settled for matching shirts and Lilli's Levis that had green leaves on the flowers on them. Tami put on a new green Tinkerbell shirt Grandma Rita sent down and her girls noticed it right away! They loved it that momma had on "Tink".

Last Thursday at the biofeedback apt. Tami was able to make her shoulder and tricep muscles respond. The therapist said it was a great first " baseline" reading. (some people have a flat line response.) She was able to make some mountain peaks. The great thing about it is that you can't cheat. It only records when you get the correct muscle. It also lets Tami know when she does it right, because it's hard for her to feel if she's actually moving any muscles at all in the left side. It doesn't hurt, so she would love to try as long as they will let her. There is good signal in her arm still, it will just take time to reprogram her brain again. YEAH!!!! I understand there are only about 17 places around the country that have this technology available for rehab purposes. The therapist Steve is a dear,(kind, gentle, patient, knowledgeable, and encouraging). Can you tell we like him? Anyway... we can't wait for the next apt. on Thursday. He told Tami she wouldn't be tying her shoes tomorrow, but with time and hard work she could be one day.

The stroke support group is also on Thursday. A lot of the people in the group have worked with Steve and had great things to say about the biofeedback therapy.

Tami is walking straighter and has better balance after each therapy. I see improvement weekly. I try to remind her how far she has come in the last 6 months. The face wash and gel the dermatologist prescribed seems to be working. Yeah! It's hard enough to deal with physical limitations without having your face break out too! So one thing at a time, we're hanging in there the best we can. Anyway ...more later, Teresa.

HI IT'S TAMI AGAIN. I'M SHAKY BUT HERE!

2009-03-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

WE JUST FINISHED MY THERAPIES. I DID BOTH PT AND OT & MAN I AM TIRED. THEY HAD ME ON THE TREADMILL TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I KEPT UP WITHOUT FLYING OFF THE BACK END .WHAT A SIGHT THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN ! THEY ONLY HAD ME GOING 1 MILE PER HOUR BUT THAT'S PROBABLY THE FASTEST I'VE MOVED SINCE MY STROKE. MY PT SCOTT STOOD BEHIND ME SO I KNEW THAT IF I KNOCKED HIM OFF I WOULD BE UP A BAD CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE OR THERAPIST. GOOD MOTIVATION TO KEEP UP. MY CUTE LITTLE FAMILY , ALBERT & GIRLS , & MY BROTHER LOGAN, WENT CAMPING THIS WEEKEND . BUT I CHICKENED OUT AT THE LAST MINUTE. I WAS TRULY HEART BROKEN THAT MY LIFE ISN'T THE WAY IT ONCE WAS I EVEN HAD A 5 MINUTE PITY PARTY WHICH I REALLY TRY NOT TO DO. I COULD NEVER WISH THIS ON ANYONE, & I KNOW I AM SO BLESSED TO KNOW THAT I CAN & WILL RECOVER. I JUST REALLY HAVE TO BE PATIENT & TRUST THAT GOD HAS AN AWESOME PLAN FOR ME. IN TIME I WILL UNDERSTAND BETTER. IT WAS PRETTY COLD & I DON'T HANDLE THAT VERY WELL. FUNNY I CAN SURVIVE A STROKE, BUT DON'T WANT TO BE COLD CAMPING. I REALLY WAS WORRIED THAT IF I FELL OR GOT HURT I WOULD BE BACKTRACKING IN MY RECOVERY AND THAT WOULD JUST PISS ME OFF TOO MUCH . WE MIGHT GIVE IT A TRY THIS COMING WEEKEND. I WILL TRY TO BE TOUGHER, AND ACTUALLY GO.

I DID MY NEW THERAPY FOR MY ARM & IT WAS NEAT FOR ME TO SEE THAT THERE IS STILL A CHANCE TO GET MY BRAIN CONNECTED AGAIN. IT WILL TAKE LOTS OF HARD WORK, BUT I AM GETTING BETTER AT THAT EVERY DAY, & I HAVE LITTLE GIRLS THAT NEED THEIR HAIR BRAIDED , SO I BETTER GET MY HAND WORKING SOON. I KNOW I TALK ABOUT MY GIRLS EVERY TIME, BUT THEY TRULY ARE MY REASON TO KEEP TRYING. MY EGO IS JUST NOT BIG ENOUGH TO HAVE THIS ALL BE FOR ME . IT'S FOR THEM. I DON'T EVEN WANT THEM TO REMEMBER WHEN MOM WAS BROKEN. THANKS TO THOSE THAT STILL THINK OF US AND KNOW I LOVE YOU ALL. I'M GOING TO START A BAD HABIT & SAY THANKS TO ANN & DEVRON FOR YOUR COMMENTS , GOD BLESS &PRETEND I''M SENDING A ONE- ARMED HUG TO YOU. I AM OUT OF HERE. TAKE CARE DO THE FUN STUFF FIRST, LIFE IS SHORT.

IT'S TAMI AGAIN HI MARCH062009

2009-03-06T14:21:00.000-08:00

Well hello. hope you are all having a great Friday,I am . Thanks Bonnie for your comment. My little Ella woke up @ 6am which is frowned on at my house but she ended up laying with me for about an hour and letting me hold her precious little hand that is so pudgy & soft as silk and that just made my day. She is so amazing to me. She is still not too fond of me, so I cherish any time I get with her now . How did I make it so far in life without my girls ? I don't know how to get through 1 day without them now.I am so incredibly lucky to have my magnificent family!!!I ALSO GOT AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE NEW BIOFEEDBACK THERAPY FOR NEXT THURSDAY! FOR MY SLACKER HAND & I WILL BE SURE TO LET YOU ALL KNOW WHEN MY HAND IS BACK AND WORKING WONDERFULLY! GOOD BYE VELCRO SHOES I WILL BE TYING LACES AGAIN YEA ME!

I am back!

2009-03-03T14:10:00.000-08:00

guess who. It's TAMI again. I had a great week! I got to see PAUL ,BETH & their cute kids in Mesquite & they came to our house ALSO.So much fun to see family! My beautiful aunt Dev even stopped by to let me kiss on her lovely Stellar baby that is the best because he can't run from me & I can hold him with 1 arm. I am getting so irritated with not having control of things as a woman that always tried to have everything under control @ all times Iam so completely ready for that day when I can look back & see how this all makes sense to me and why it happened & see the benefits of it all more than just having good parking spots wherever we go.. I guess it will take longer than 6 months for that day. I am not patient any more for so many things. So thanks for the prayers & please keep them coming.my newest improvements areTHE DERMATOLOGIST GAVE ME A NEW MEDICINE THAT WILL HOPEFULLY FIX MY SKIN . I WILL BE SO EXCITED WHEN IT WORKS. also we turned the wheelchair back in so we are done with that phase yippee !!I JUST GOT TO THE END AND REALIZED THE CAP LOCK WASN'T ON SO MY GRAMAR MIGHT BE MESSED UP. SO BARE WITH ME .

THESLOW HORSE IS BACK.

2009-02-23T13:09:00.000-08:00

HI TO ALL. WE SNUCK AWAY AGAIN AND DID THE BLOOD CHECK THING LEAVING THE GIRLS WITH DAD. WE THOUGHT WE'D COME SAY HI TO ALL THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THAT KEEP ME IN THEIR PRAYERS.I HAD MY WALKING EVALUATION AGAIN LAST TUESDAY & I HAD IMPROVED ON EVERYTHING ,YIPPEE. BUT MY ARM IS TURNING OUT TO BE JUST AS STUBBORN AS ME. STILL NOTHING FROM IT, BUT WE ARE GOING TO TRY A NEW KIND OF BIOFEEDBACK THERAPY SOON WHICH I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO. I WILL TRY ANYTHING BY NOW. IT IS NOT COVERED BY MY INSURANCE SO WE WILL HAVE TO PAY FOR IT. BUT WE HAVE HEARD REALLY GOOD THINGS ABOUT IT & I AM HANGING IN, BUT GETTING FED UP WITH MYSELF. I AM ABSOLUTELY READY TO BE DONE WITH THIS CRAP! I LOVE TERESA DEARLY BUT I KNOW SHE IS GETTING TIRED OF BEING OUR 24 HOUR NURSE, NANNY, & TAXI. WE GOT TO SEE GREAT GRANDMA RITA & UNCLE STEVE LAST WEEK WHICH WAS LOTS OF FUN. WE WILL MEET THEM AGAIN IN MESQUITE TONIGHT. SO MUCH FUN TO SEE FAMILY INSTEAD OF THERAPY. WE LOVE YOU ALL. MY NURSE IS NOW LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER TO MAKE SURE I DON'T MAKE MISTAKES .THE FUN IS OVER. SHE'S A PROFESSIONAL HOVERER. THERE I GOT HER TO STEP AWAY FOR 1 MINUTE. I WON'T DO ANYTHING CRAZY I PROMISE. ALL IN LOVE. MY GIRLS ARE STILL MAKING US LAUGH THEY ARE TOO SMART FOR KIDS. WE ARE AT THE STAGE OF SPELLING THINGS WE DON'T WANT TO SAY BUT THEY CATCH ON AND KNOW WHAT WE SPELL NOW, DAMN. I WILL HAVE THE FIRST 1 YEAR OLD THAT CAN SPELL ICE CREAM. GOD LOVE EM. THEY REALLY KEEP ME GOING, IF THERE WERE A TIME OUT BELL I WOULD'VE RANG IT BY NOW FOR SURE. THEN THEY COME OUT IN THEIR" SNOW WHITE" DRESSES WHICH MY LITTLE LILLI WORE FOR A WEEK. SHE EVEN SAYS HER NAME IS NOT LILLI ,IT IS ARIEL OR SNOW WHITE NOW. AND I FIND THE PATIENCE TO CONTINUE FOR A WHILE LONGER. I AM SO INCREDIBLY LUCKY TO BE A MOM I SHOULD HAVE HAD KIDS EARLIER IN LIFE, EVEN IF I'M SLOWER THAN THEM NOW SOME PEOPLE HAVE TO WAIT TILL THEIR 60 TO BE AS SLOW AS ME .I GOT IMPATIENT APPARENTLY.. THEY ACTUALLY HAD TO COME WITH US ON FRIDAY TO AN APPOINTMENT SO I INTRODUCED THEM TO MY PT & TOLD HIM THAT WAS HOW FAST I NEEDED TO BE. I WILL WORK ON IT. THE COMPUTER HAS SPELL CHECK TERESA IS MY SPACE CHECK. AND PUNCTUATION MONITOR.SHE'S BACK ...PERFECTION NOW, NO MORE SMART ASS TAMI.OK SENT HER AWAY AGAIN, I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME ON THE COMPUTER. THANK YOU !FOR YOUR PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS. COME TO MESQUITE AND DO SOME GAMBLING & I WILL COME SEE YOU IN PERSON. LOVE TAMI & TERESA. WATCH FOR A SHORT LADY WITH A SKINNY TALL GIRL HANGING ON HER SHOULDER. THAT'S US. OUT OF TIME NOW FEEL FREE TO CALL ME ANYTIME. 801-520-4907

Straight from the "Horses Mouth"

2009-02-09T16:41:00.000-08:00

WELL HI TO ALL THOSE THAT KEEP CHECKING ON ME.THIS IS TAMI. I GOT OUT OF THE HOUSE AND DIDN'T HAVE ANY APOINTMENTS TO GO TO.Today I actually got a few minutes to read through the blOG. MY grandma had printed it for me. HOLY COW!IT IS ALL SO SUREAL EVEN TO ME. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT HAS BEEN PRAYING FOR ME AND HELPING MY LITTLE FAMILY. I AM SO INCREDIBLY BLESSSED AND GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES. I KNEW THIS BEFORE, BUT IT IS JUST REALLY HIGHLIGHTED IN MY MIND NOW HOW LUCKY I AM, AND FOR ANYONE THAT HASN'T GOT TO MEET MY GIRLS THEY ARE SO AMAZING! TRULY ANGELS ON EARTH AS LONG AS THEY GET A NAP. THANKS TO MY GRANDMA ANN. WHO HAS BEEN DOING THE UNFORTUNATE TASK OF ORGANIZING ALL MY FINANCES ,SHE IS AWSOME!SHE ALREADY HAS A MILLION OTHER THINGS SHE DOES EACH DAY. WHAT A WOMAN!I COULD BE HERE FOR HOURS THANKING EVERYONE. BUT I AM OUT OF TIME AND TERESA IS HOVERING MAKING SURE I PUT IN ALL THE CORRECT PERIODS AND COMMAS SO FORGIVE ME IF ITS NOT PERFECT I JUST ASKED HER TO LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A MINUTE. GET READY FOR CHAOS. IM UNSUPERVISED!
LOVE TAMI

Mon. Feb.9th

2009-02-09T16:14:00.000-08:00

From Teresa... We've been doing the blood thinning/thickening act. Tami finished the antibiotic a week ago Friday. Last Monday we checked her level and it was 5.5(still too thin). So she ate salads with a lot of dark leafy greens and went without the cumidin a few days. On Wed. it was back down to perfect at a 2.5. So back on a small dose of cumidin. We checked it again today(Mon.) and it's too thick at 1.1. So now we increase the dose a little more and check again on Thurs. The spot where they gave her a shot of vitamin k two weeks ago in her stomach, developed a reaction. We were in to the doctor to have it checked the other day and had to get a strong cortizone cream for it. I guess we will need to avoid anymore shots of it and just get the vitamin k in foods.

Tami came to the library today with me.(the first time since her stroke) We left the girls home with Albert. She's getting around fairly well with my shoulder as her cane. More later...Teresa.

Fri. Jan.30th

2009-01-30T15:58:00.000-08:00

From Teresa... The neurologist said the EEG showed the possibility of seizures so he wants Tami to stay on the keppra for at least a year to a year and a half to be safe. Unfortunately that's the expensive drug,(without a generic that works as well as the original,$144.00 for a 2 week supply.) But we don't want any seizures, so she'll continue it as long as needed. He also said her headaches we due to muscle strain in her neck. Because of her left side neglect she is holding her head at an angle and that puts strain on her neck. He offered to give her shots in her neck and forehead with something to numb it, but there is no gaurentee as to how long the reilef could last. Every patient is different. She said no thank-you to more needles right now. They told her if she changes her mind they will work her in an appointment. (Today she said she was thinking about it.)

The blood work on Wed. was right where it should be.(2.4) She took the last of the antibiotic today, so we will check the level again on Monday to see if it needs to be adjusted.

On Tues. the therapists really worked her out. She was tired when she got home and told Lilli that they "Kicked her butt", Lilli with eyes wide said "Why"! She was thinking literally. We laughed and tried to explain.(We have to be careful how we say things around those girls. Anyway more later...Teresa

Mon. Jan.26th

2009-01-26T16:06:00.000-08:00

From Teresa... We went in Fri. morning to get Tami's blood work done. The finger pricking test said "no clot detected", so they had to draw a sample from her arm, and send it to the lab. Later that afternoon the doctor's assistant called and said it was a 12!(they want it between a 2 and a 3). She was in a therapy and they pulled her out and sent her downstairs to the emergency room. There they gave her a shot in the stomach of vitamin k and took a CAT scan to be sure she didn't have any bleeding in her head. The CAT scan was good, no problems. Then they admitted her into the hospital and gave her 2 bags of plasma. Plasma has the stuff in it to help your blood clot. By 11pm the tests showed she was back to a 3 again. But they kept her overnight to be safe. I spent the night with her. It made us both appreciate not having to sleep at the hospital on a regular basis. She was released by 11am on Sat. We learned that the antibiotic for her acne makes the cumidin work extra well. So her blood Dr. reduced the dosage and we went for another check this morning. It was down to 1.2 so we will increase it a little tonight and tomorrow and check it again on Wed. It's a delicate balancing act. Her arm looks like a pincusion.

Tomorrow we have the apt. with her neurologist, and rehab therapies in the afternoon. More later...Teresa.

Wed. Jan.21st

2009-01-21T16:37:00.000-08:00

From Teresa... Well there was a good sized group at the stroke support meeting last week. We had therapy scheduled at 1pm so we had to leave before it broke up. Next time I'll line things up differently so we don't have to rush off. It was nice because almost everyone from last month commented on how great it was to see Tami walk in on her own power, and how good she was looking.

Tami has had a nagging headache for about a week now. Tylenol takes the edge off, but doesn't get rid of it. My dilemma is which of her many doctors do I ask about it. I called her neurologist today and he thinks there may be something he could try that isn't a drug. We have an apt. with him on the 30th already and will try to get in on a cancellation before then if possible.

Tami is walking into rehab these days. (It takes about 10 min. to get there from the car.) But it feels good to be able to leave the wheelchair in the car. She's tired by the time she walks out after all three therapies, but I'm hoping it helps build her endurance.

Lilli's birthday party went well and the mess stayed at the pool. That was nice.

Sat. Tami has an appointment for a doctor to evaluate her on whether or not she will qualify for any disability help. More later Teresa.

Wed. Jan.14,2009

2009-01-14T16:17:00.000-08:00

From Teresa... I got Tami on the scales the other day and she is up to 102 lbs. Yeah! Finally more than a 98 pound weakling! Any food she says sounds good to eat, I try to get for her. Her dad came out Thurs. and flew back to Florida Sun. He bought all the fixings for a pot roast and she's been enjoying it since. He also took her to get her blood work checked and to therapies on Friday. Her blood levels are right where they need to be, so we are to keep the same dosage and get checked again in two weeks. They went out to lunch at Applebees (one of Tami's favorite places) and had a nice daddy daughter date. On Sat. afternoon Albert cooked his famous carne asada tacos and had family and friends come over. It was nice.

Tomorrow is the stroke support group meeting again. I'm looking forward to it, and I think Tami is too. It's a nice,welcoming, and loving group of people.( about 15 or so). Last month Tami was in her wheel chair, this time she should be walking in on her own. She also went blond, they may not recognize her. Anyway....

Lilli will turn 3 on Sat. Jan.17th. The birthday party is scheduled to be held at the local swimming pool. Lilli is so good with Tami, handing her things that drop or get tossed by sister Ella. She's always asking us questions that keep us on our toes. Her communication skills are so good that it's hard to remember that she's only 3! Tami's girls are what keep her going when she might be tempted to give up. They are little blessings! (I try to remember that as I pick up after them, and change dirty diapers.) I'm trying to stay in the moment and appreciate my time with them, because I realize this is only temperary and I'll miss it when it's over. Anyway...that's it for now....Teresa

Tues. Jan. 6, 2009

2009-01-06T17:24:00.000-08:00

From Teresa... Well Christmas was good, Santa left a mess of stuff at Tami's home and the girls had a ball! For the afternoon we all went over to Aunt Monica and Uncle David's home and had a fabulous feast and the girls were spoiled again! Albert's family can really cook! They are helping to put some weight back on Tami. (unfortunately I'm right in there with her putting on some weight too) Anyway....It's so good I'm willing to enjoy it and just go to Curves a few more times.

For New Years Albert and Tami went to Riley and Patty's for a party and actually stayed up past midnight! (first time in 4 years) They had a good time. I played grandma/nanny and enjoyed myself too.

For Jan. we are doing rehab therapy twice a week ,to stretch out the 20 visits each therapy is allowed for the year. New year, new deductible, on medical and prescriptions, but thank God for health insurance.

Tami has more range of motion in her shoulder and arm. Her balance is getting better too.

Well the library is closing, so more later...Teresa.

Mon. Dec. 22, 2008

2008-12-22T17:31:00.000-08:00

From Teresa... We were concerned that Tami might have some hearing loss in her left ear. We hadn't noticed any problems when we spoke to her, but when she tried to listen to an ipod she kept asking Albert to turn up the left side. So we got a referral to an audiologist and were able to get in today and have her checked. No damage! Yeah!!! Everything is in the normal range. Maybe there was a problem with the ipod. Anyway... Tami said "At least that's one thing the stroke didn't get!

"Wonderful friends and family have really kicked in for Christmas for Tami's family. THANK YOU ALL!!! We will spend it here in St. George. Merry Christmas and a Healthy and Happy New Year to you all! I don't think we will get to sending out Christmas cards this year so this will have to suffice. Know that you are LOVED and APPRECIATED. More later...Teresa.

Mon. Dec.15th

2008-12-15T17:04:00.000-08:00

From Teresa... Last Wednesday's blood work number was a little high, 3.5 (The doctor wants it between 2 and 3). So she had us drop the dose a bit for one night and have Tami eat more dark green veggies or salads. The green stuff contains vitamin K ,which helps your blood clot. We went back in for another check Fri. morning and it was down to 2.2 . So back up to the regular dose except on Wed. we drop it down a notch, and only have to check it every two weeks now. Yeah!

On Thurs. at noon there is a" stroke support" group meeting. Albert, Grandma Ann, Tami, and I all hope to go to it. (I just need to line up a sitter for the girls still.) Tami's really hoping to gain some insight on how other people deal with their stroke challenges.

Tami is improving more each day at her therapy sessions. (baby steps). Her hair is about 1/2 inch long now and looks really cute with some hair gel in it. It has her natural curl and it's hard to see the scar anymore. Her daughters have us laughing all day long with what they say and do. They give her the motivation to keep hanging in there. One of her main goals is to be able to pick up and carry Ella again. Anyway...More later...Teresa.

Wed. Dec 10th

2008-12-10T20:37:00.000-08:00

From Teresa... Well on Mon. Dec. 1st the blood work was good enough to be done with the Heprin shots in the stomach! Yeah!!! On Wed. she had the EEG tests, but we have yet to have anyone tell us the results to them. She met with her new family doctor and he's really good. (I will probably use him myself if I need a doctor for anything.) He suggested we could get the blood work done at his clinic if we wanted. It is 5 min. from Tami's house instead of 15. So for Thursdays blood work we went there. It was great. They only had to prick her finger instead of drawing blood from her arm, and we knew the results in three minutes! By the time we got home, her blood doctor had the results and was calling us to tell us to keep on the same dosage as before.

Tami is walking with her cane again around the house. We still use the wheelchair when we leave home. But this morning she walked from the car to the clinic and back out again after the blood work. It's too far right now to make her walk to and from the rehab place. It's a big parking lot and on the 3rd floor. She would be wiped out before she even got started if she tried walking the whole way there. There is improvement happening in all three therapies. Still no controlled movement with the left arm but the range of motion is better.

Tomorrow she has an evaluation with the neuropsychologist. The way I understand it, he finds out what works in her brain, and what needs attention and help. It should take between 2 and 4 hours. Then she has the regular afternoon therapies. So it will be a long day. Albert is taking Tami one day a week to her therapies while I tend the girls. That way he can see how she's doing and learn how to help her get around.

Ella is getting a little more comfortable around her mom now, and Lilli is sweet and helpful. Happy 26th Birthday to Logan tomorrow.(Dec. 11th) More later...Teresa.

Wed. Nov.26th

2008-11-26T17:03:00.000-08:00

From Teresa... We went for blood work on Mon. hoping to hear the numbers were between 2 and 3. They were only 1.2 so the cumidin was increased and shots continued. Another blood draw this morning with new hope, but the level was only up to 1.4, so another increase in the pill dose and more shots until the next blood draw on Mon. morning. Poor Tami keeps thinking we are finished with the shots and it just isn't so. The good news is eventually we will get the proper dosage and really be done with the needles.

All three therapists gave her homework over the holiday weekend. She is finally able to put a little weight on her left leg again although the fall has shaken her confidence in her ability to walk . The OT has her rolling on her left side to remind her body that it's still part of her. That helps put weight and pressure on the shoulder muscles and joint.(which is a good thing.) He feels that she will be able to get use of her left arm and hand again. I was very glad to hear that! Speech is working on her voice control and volume, along with math and cognitive skills.

Monday night she was so sore from the workouts that we took up the Massage Envy people on their offer of a free massage for both her and I. We were in the same room together so I could help her dress and get on and off the table. It was fabulous! We both LOVED it. They were great with us, so patient and gave us each the type of massage we requested. We are looking foreword to the next visit.

Thanksgiving will be spent with Albert's family up at his grandma Toni's house in Enterprise.We have a lot to be thankful for this year! Wishing each and every one of you a Happy and Healthy Thanksgiving. More later...Teresa.

Thurs. Nov.20th

2008-11-20T16:50:00.000-08:00

From Teresa... Well we're home and trying to figure out some kind of routine. There are PT , OT, and speech therapy to go to three times a week at the Dixie Regional Medical Center. Sweet relatives have come to the house to be with the girls while I run Tami to all of her appointments. We have a new neurologist that had his own stroke at the age of 21. He went on to become the doctor he is today. He encouraged Tami to decide what her goals are and work until she gets them. He scheduled a sleep deprived EEG for Dec. 3rd. She needs to only get 4 hours of sleep the night before. ( I'm still trying to figure out how to work it so I'm not sleep deprived along with her.) After evaluating the results of that test he will determine whether or not she needs to continue taking the Keppra medication. (It is routinely given to anyone that has had brain surgeries to prevent seizures.) It's also the $500.00 a month drug, without a good generic substitute. Her next apt. with him is scheduled for the end of Jan.

The hematologist (blood doctor) informed us that Tami was low on her "protein S" that is one of the things that your body uses to help the balance of clotting and thinning of the blood. That was probably the cause of the clot that caused the stroke in the first place. The way to deal with the problem is with blood thinners for the rest of your life. Today the Doctor informed us that we can ween off the Heprin shots and on to the Cumidin pills once a day at bedtime. Yeah! We still have to do the shots through Mon. morning along with the pills, at which time if Mondays test show the levels where they need to be , we can stop the injections. I CAN'T WAIT! The pills are much cheaper and there is a generic that can be used. She still has to get regular blood draws to monitor the levels but after shots in the gut that burn, that seems minor! The protein S thing is genetic so the Doctor recommended that at some point we get me and Tami's girls checked for it. It can be done in a blood test. I asked if there was any urgency to check the girls and he said "no". Just in the future.

I got a library card so that I can access the internet once in a while. It's hard to get away for very long so Grandma Ann may be doing most of the updates. The "silver lining" to being here helping to take care of "my beautiful girls" is that this is a fantastic place to spend the winter. I'm savoring the sunshine. Anyway...More later Teresa.

OVERDUE - REPORT ON TAMI. . . .

2008-11-20T16:37:00.000-08:00

Sorry we haven't posted for so long. It has been a whirlwind since Tami got home. Assisting Tami, scheduling multiple appointments, making arrangements for child care during appointments, routine household duties such as laundry, meal prep, potty training. . .are things Teresa does every day. Albert's family has continued to help with the children and they are so loved for that. I'm nominating Teresa and Aunt Monica for 'Angel of the Year awards.

Albert and the girls are so happy to have her home and she is very happy to be there. She got to go to Uncle Dave's birthday party last week.

Tami fell about a week after returning home. It was a one-step fall, but it bruised her fragile little body. Earlier that same day two of the therapists at the hospital asked her if she had fallen and they were stunned that she had not. I guess it's inevitable. She has been examined and x-rayed and thankfully nothing was broken, but it has been very painful and she can't put weight on her left leg, so the walking therapy has taken a set-back.

She has met her Neurologist, Hemotologist, physical therapist, occupational therapist and speech therapist. She still has to meet with her (new) family physician. There is SO much to do.

Tami was hoping to get off shots, but must continue for now. I'll have Teresa go more into that. The Hemotologist has given them new information about the blood disorder (clotting factor) that probably caused the stroke (something to do with Protein S, which I have never heard of). I will have 'Dr. Teresa' write about that soon. She 'gets' the medical jargon.

Please don't give up on the blog. . .we will continue to post, but probably not as often. We often think of you all and mention we need to 'blog' . . . but 'Life' has us all very busy.

I know she would appreciate cards, or text messages. We are so grateful for your continued prayers and support. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

TAMI’S HOMECOMING – Saturday, November 8th

2008-11-09T19:28:00.000-08:00

A birthday party was planned so the little girls and Albert could help her celebrate the birthday she missed while she was in a coma in Salt Lake. Here’s what Tami said:
“I am so excited and grateful to be HOME. Albert made his special hamburgers and a wonderful birthday cake. Lilli put my tiara on me (the one ‘Aunt Riley’ bought for my helmet) and they sang Happy Birthday. Lilli was so excited and sweet. . she is Mommy’s little helper…so caring and gentle. It is awesome to hear all of Ella’s new words. Ella watched me walk down the hall last night (I throw my left leg out a bit ) and she was trying to walk like me. Lilli got all excited and ran down the hall saying, Mommy went potty on the big girl potty. I have tried to explain to Lilli that there are ‘sad cries’ and’ happy cries.’ She just came up to me and asked me to ‘CRY HAPPY.’ THEY ARE SO FUN! Albert told Lilli he would clean up after Ella if she would clean up after me. We are very glad to have our family together. Thanks again to Aunt Monica and Albert’s family for taking such good care of our babies. We’ll still need help, I’m sure. And Thanks to Teresa, she has been a trooper. She has always said she could never be a nurse because she doesn’t like needles and she could NEVER give a shot. She is NOW giving me blood thinner shots twice a day. We both hope I don’t have to take them forever. Thanks Mom!”

Note from Grandma Ann: What a thrill to see Tami at home with her family. Tami reported on the fun stuff. . .I’ll tell you a little about the transition. Albert is installing a new toilet today that will be easier for Tami to use and they are evaluating where hand rails will be most helpful. We have picked up the first of the medications and one prescription (1 mo) cost almost $500. After insurance, it only cost $170. . .what a bargain (actually I should say ‘what a blessing!’)

This next week is a lot of NEW . . .new doctors, new out-patient physical therapy sessions. . .many adjustments. Tami rarely lets anyone see her discouraged (but we know that has to be an occasional reality). She is determined and goal oriented. Thanks again for all of your prayers, love and support. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

Exit plans being made!

2008-11-06T10:19:00.000-08:00

From Teresa... After Tues. evaluations by the staff they informed us that Tami has met the goals they had set for her to achieve before release. So we get to go home after the Sat. therapies. Nov. 8th! YEAH! Marc is flying out from Florida again today, and my mom and sister Dolores are coming out to see Tami tomorrow around noon. My sister Becky and Devron were out on Mon. afternoon to say hi! Tami and I will drive down to St. George in my car Sat. afternoon so we hope to be with Albert and the girls for supper. Tami is counting the hours! More later...Teresa.

Tues. Nov.4th

2008-11-04T13:55:00.000-08:00

From Teresa... I've been worried about the tightening of Tami's left underarm and shoulder muscles. On Sat . the therapist did some deep tissue work trying to release the tightness in it. She started to get nauseous. Then we had an outing to the Noodles and Company restaurant.
She still wasn't feeling too great. So we cut it short and went back to the room for a nap. They went easy on the two afternoon sessions and back to bed to rest. She ate a few saltines and some sprite and up came lunch. The next day was Sun. and we had already chosen to take the day off. No therapies. But Tami made the mistake of telling the Dr. she still felt a little nauseous. He ordered a full blood work up and a urine test. The good news is the results all came out normal. The next time anyone asks she will tell them she feels "just fine", unless it's something more than an upset tummy.

The last 4 days Adam (physical therapist) has had her walking without her cane the whole "loop" of the rehab floor. He holds her left arm and around her waist with the gait belt. She was petrified the first time, but today she was doing quite well. After that she practiced the six stairs up and down repeatedly.

During occupational therapy she has a little more stretch than last week and Beth was able to get her to squeeze her fingers a little. This is the first time Tami could tell when she was doing the squeezing herself. That was exciting! More Later...Teresa.

RECOVERY INCLUDES CHALLENGES

2008-11-04T07:30:00.000-08:00

GRANDMA ANN SAYS. . . . . . .Our precious Tami is a MIRACLE. Thank you to IMC and the incredible staff for their efforts and expertise on this challenging road to recovery.

When things work. . . .we are anxious to share her wonderful progress with the world. We are so proud of her determination, attitude and strong will . .but along the way. . .the ‘real’ world of Tami’s physical therapy also includes anxiety, fear, PAIN and discouragement.

The last day I spent in Salt Lake with her (Wed, 10/30) was particularly difficult. The work on her left arm was excruciating. Our “Tami-no-tears” shed tears as BIG as her pretty blue eyes. (Grandma joined her.) When she walks, she gets from point A to point B. . . . .but the absolute concentration and effort it takes is impossible for me to describe. When they want her to stand or take steps without the cane it is FRIGHTENING! She can’t depend on her limbs. My words are inadequate in expressing the difficulty.

That evening I asked her if there was anything she would like me to write for the blog. She didn’t say anything, but I could see the wheels turning. . . I waited and then I said, “This sucks?” (I don’t usually use that phrase, but I thought I was reading her mind.) She nodded in agreement.

She called me later that night and told me a couple of things that I could write on the blog. “Thank heavens for Lilli and Ella. They’re keeping me going. I think I’ve gone through some hard times, but this is the hardest thing I can ever imagine going through. I hope God doesn’t try to top this.”

Tami is excited to be going home. . .I know Albert and the girls are excited to have her home. We will all try desperately to make that transition go smoothly and support her in the long and difficult road ahead. She is looking forward to reconnecting with family and friends in St. George.

Thank you for keeping Tami in your prayers. Thank you for your love and support. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

Wed. Oct 29th

2008-10-29T13:49:00.000-07:00

From Teresa... Tami says "I must be getting better because all my therapists are increasing the intensity of my workouts. Even the speech lady has me doing 3 digit math problems!" On Mon. she had to go up and down a flight of stairs without her cane. It scared her to death to come down, but she did it! She also walked the whole parameter of the rehab floor. (It's about 400 feet.)

We set up an eye exam at the Cosco right behind the hospital for Tues. afternoon. We went in the wheelchair and walked over to it. She got a new prescription for glasses and soft contacts. The adventure wore her out, but she can see and read better now.

Today in occupational therapy we pinpointed some "tone" in the left arm and shoulder area. It was very painful to stretch out. So she will be focusing on working on it during "down time" to try to avoid permanent damage. Grandma Ann is visiting now and will remind her to work with it.

Aunt Rosemary was up last night and gave her another hip massage.That felt great as always. Riley and Patty stopped by during her lunch break. They were amazed at how much better she looks compared to 4 weeks ago, (before the last surgery.)

Right now it looks like she will be going home to St. George on Nov. 10th. Yeah!!! Until then she is trying to get the most out of all her therapies. She will have out-patient rehab down there. More later...Teresa.

Sun. Oct. 26th

2008-10-26T10:34:00.000-07:00

From Teresa... Earlier in the week an ultra sound was done on Tami's legs and the blood clots were gone. So the Doctors wanted to remove the filter planted below her heart. It went in from the groin area and up a vein. It gets removed by going into the neck area and pulling it out through there. So about 11:30 on Thurs. a new IV line was needed. It took two different nurses and 4 tries to finally get one in! Yuck! Then Tami wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything until after the proceedure. So we waited, and waited, and waited, and waited.... AT 3:00 p.m. They called and said it would be two more hours because of all the emergency cases that kept comming in. At 5:00 p.m. my baby was really hungry and I've been trying to put weight back on her! This was not helping my cause! I kicked into "Mama Bear" mode. I told them either get her in or" Feed " her and do it tommorrow. They came back and said they were still three hours away and she could eat and go for it again tommorrow. She chose to EAT! It was the best pasta she had had all week! (Also she had been schedualed for an outing to Rumbis Island Grill for lunch that day followed by Stone Cold Creamery for dessert. It had been reschedualed.) So she was supposed to be the first patient at 7:30 a.m. on Friday. We were up and showered and dressed by 7:30. I checked with the nurses desk to see where we were on the plan for the day. They asked how Tami's clotting times were. I said nobody had been in to take any blood samples since last Sat. and she had the blood thinner shot the night before at 9:00 p.m.! So a blood sample was ordered stat. An hour later it came back o.k. I was still in "Mama Bear" mode so I warned the nurses I would be checking on things every hour on the hour. It was 12:00 noon when she was finally taken down to get it done. It was 1:30 p.m. when she was finished. All went well, although the doctor said her veins were dehydrated and he had a little difficulty with them.

Logan had arrived while she was getting it taken out. As soon as she was back in her room she was fed. The harp lady showed up and played for her while she ate.

Later, Albert and her girls arrived. Ella still doesn't like the whole hospital thing and the way her mom looks. But Lilli is just a doll with her mom. Feeding her, handing her things, loving her, and comforting her. So on Sat. Tami got to go on her outing for lunch. Ella was napping when we left so they joined us in time for the ice cream. Last night Lilli stayed the night with her mom and I. She was great and Tami loved it! They head back to St. George this afternoon. Anyway... More later.. Teresa.

Sun. Oct.26

2008-10-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

From Teresa...